Danskcolin: Wednesday February 28th 2024

Everybody has a busy schedule these days, don't they. Have you noticed? How can we possibly stay fully connected with spouses, partners, friends and family?

It's not easy, is it!

Yes, everybody, it seems, has got too much to do! And the newspaper headlines speak volumes, don't they. These stories, stuck in my personal scrapbook, were taken from just one week's stories from "The Onion", the influential American news website, hard though it is to believe!

Yes, Putin, having to move forward his rigged re-election, the anxieties of balancing anxieties, CEOs with no time for their marital duties, housekeepers too busy to make the sort of "sassy" comments that Alice (played by Ann B. Davis) used to make in TV's "The Brady Bunch", and, finally, peasants too busy to unwind by having a few minutes to gawp at the occasional execution: what's become of our world?

flashback to the early 1970's: housekeeper Alice (centre, played by Ann B. Davis)

making a sassy comment to busy mother Mrs Carol Brady (right,

played by Florence Henderson) in an episode of TV's "The Brady Bunch"

Overall, however, I think the tragick-est story [???- Ed] in that sorry week's collection from The Onion is probably the one about the overworked American CEO and his wife, don't you think? But at least the couple seem to have found a solution, which is heart-warming.

GROSSE POINTE, MI—As part of the ongoing trend toward replacing U.S. workers with foreign labour, the marital duties of United Carborundum CEO Howard Reinhardt have been outsourced to his Mexican groundskeeper, industry sources revealed Monday.

"It was time for a change," said Reinhardt's wife Melanie, who has been married to the CEO for 17 years and has conducted her sexual business almost exclusively with him since 1984. "While I was generally satisfied with the level of servicing that I received under Howard, it was my feeling that a younger, more aggressive hand on the tiller might bring some new ideas into play. No matter how mutually satisfying the old deal was, its time had passed."

Although specific terms of the arrangement have not been made public, Melanie admitted that she has been "very pleased" by the new supplier—Jorge Escobedo, a 26-year-old gardener from Sierra Mojada who has been working in the U.S. since last month.

26-year-old Mexican gardener Jorge Escobedo,

who's been working in the US for over a month

"The switchover was seamless, considering how rapidly the deal was closed," said Melanie, who initiated the informal arrangement with Escobedo this week on February 20th, while he was cleaning the equipment shed. "Well, in truth, I was considering a move in this direction for some time, and looking into possibilities. Then Jorge offered me a very attractive package, and I decided it was in my interest to act. I've been very pleased with his initial performance....

"This isn't some sort of challenge to the American workforce as a whole," Melanie said. "I'm just sending the jobs where they're going to be done most efficiently. The acquisition of houses, automobiles, and clothing will all still be in Howard's wheelhouse, but groundskeeping and ploughing are now to be managed by Jorge. It just makes sense."

a typical busy board meeting at United Carborundum

Melanie said the outsourcing is a direct response to the expansion of husband Howard Reinhardt's duties at United Carborundum.

"Howard is simply too busy to personally keep track of every detail of the marital union," Melanie said. "As long as he's available when he's needed—major Reinhardt-family gatherings and the United Carborundum holiday ball—I'm happy to have someone else's input day-to-day." [source: Onion News]

We're happy for the Reinhardts of course, while at the same time acknowledging that the average family just hasn't got the resources to implement such a quick and neat, but potentially expensive, solution to their problem.

But that's one for the politicians, really, isn't it! Rishi Sunak and Keir Starmer, please take note!

Keir Starmer, leader of Her Majesty's Opposition (left)

sharing a joke with Rishi Sunak, UK Prime Minister

Enough said, I believe! Let's leave that one there.

But to think that among all these busy people featuring in these headlines, there isn't a single one that has even retired yet! Everybody knows how, once you're retired, you quickly become busier than ever, don't you, like - a billion times busier, maybe more!

If YOU are retired, you'll know exactly what I mean, I think!!!!

Yes, Lois and I have been retired for almost exactly 18 years - we retired when I reached the age of 60, back in 2006. And just look at our schedule for today - a cool half a dozen or so tasks we've somehow got to fit in !!!

Some day this is going to be, by the looks of it. Talk about busy busy busy!!!

08:00 We go through the day's agenda in bed, as usual, and at this stage it seems just horrendous, a total nightmare, but we decide that there's only one thing to do: get on with the initial tasks, at least, as soon as we're able to get down to them, and hope that the rest of the day will somehow "sort itself out".

But what a madness it all is !!!!!

10:00 We "plunge straight into" our tasks with a visit to the Poolbrook Kitchen and Coffee Shop. We find that it's packed even 10 minutes after opening, with its usual two groups of customers in an uneasy "standoff" - the local old codgers on the left, and the busy young mums with their enormous baby buggies on the right.

the scene this morning in the local coffee shop: behind us

some of the local "old codgers" on the left hand side of the shop..

...and on the right some of the local young mums, blocking

any available free space with their enormous baby-buggies

I must say that, although they're often described as "warring groups" in the local press, to mine and Lois's knowledge there's never been any "trouble" between the 2 factions that we've seen, but if there ever is, my money's on the old codgers, being more numerous - although of course there is always the risk of being mown down by a young mum with an enormous baby buggy in a hit-and-run so-called "accident".

But let's put that thought out of our minds for now, and enjoy our americanos and cake, shall we!

a slice of lemon something cake for Lois

and a coffee-and-walnut for me - yum yum!

an oasis of calm in another frantic day - what madness !!!

Andrew, the owner, is busy in the back-room this morning, so he's dragged his poor old mum out to serve customers. Andrew is a local St Andrews Parish Church stalwart, and his jaunty "God With Us" signs are in plentiful evidence around the shop as usual, which is nice!

Andrew has been the owner since April 2023, after buying the shop from its "burnt out" former owner, Alison Pearson - remember?

So, even more "busy people" then ?????

What a crazy world it is that we all live in !!!

21:00 Our busy day over, Lois and I manage to unwind on the couch with the second programme in stand-up comedian Bill Bailey's new series "Perfect Pub Walks". His guest and fellow-walker tonight is respected retired TV journalist Sir Trevor McDonald.

Call me a shallow idiot if you like, but to me this evening, it's the pubs that are far more interesting than the walks and the talks that Bill Bailey has with this week's guest, veteran ITN news-reader and journalist Sir Trevor McDonald.

Trinidad-born Sir Trevor certainly has a lot of achievements to be proud of in his long career in journalism: he's broken down a lot of barriers - he was the first ever black journalist to be given a job on British television, at ITN in 1973, and he's become an icon and an inspiration for thousands of black youngsters ever since.

He was among the first Western journalists to interview both Saddam Hussein and Colonel Gadhafi, as well as the first to interview Nelson Mandela after his release from prison in South Africa.

Sir Trevor McDonald interviewing Nelson Mandela

on his release from prison in South Africa

The downside to this programme is that Sir Trevor doesn't open up much about himself and his personal life - which is his prerogative, but it makes it slightly less absorbing to watch than last week's edition with stand-up comedian Alan Davies.

As Bailey himself admits, this is an inevitable casualty of Sir Trevor having had half of lifetime of being a detached news-reader for ITN:

On the other hand, the pubs the two men visit on their walk in tonight's programme are just great, however. My goodness, yes! Fascinating!

I'm talking especially about the 16th century pub, The Bull at Brantham, which has oak beams from wrecked ships of the Spanish Armada and Philip of Spain's failed invasion attempt of 1588, as the pub landlord explains to Bill and Sir Trevor.

And the pub was also once the town courthouse, where Matt Hopkins, the notorious Witchfinder-General, used to drag poor innocent women, and where he held his so-called "hearings", back in the 1640's, hanging his victims just outside the pub, on the village green.