It's Sunday and at last I can drive my medium-suffering wife Lois to her church's two Sunday Morning meetings at a village hall near Tewkesbury today. Poor Lois "forewent" (does that word sound odd to YOU? It does to me!) [Well, you're a peculiar person, Colin! - Ed], yes she "forewent going" - is that still okay? [Oh just get on with it! - Ed].
the scene in the Village Hall at Ashchurch this morning
during the break between the Bible Hour and the Exhortation
OK, well, so poor Lois "forewent going" to the meeting last Sunday, with her usual "forebearance" - is that the right word? [I'll shut you down for good, if these questions go on! - Ed]. And instead she just took part in the service online, just so that I could stay here in Malvern and work on the so-called "presentation" I was due to make to our local U3A "History of English" group, all about the Hungarian language, a presentation which I'm happy to report was a big success when I gave it to the group on zoom on Friday afternoon.
Yes, Lois's sacrifice last Sunday was not in vain, because since I gave my talk on Friday, two plaudits have come "pouring in", and I'm sure there'll be the first two of many to land on my desk over the coming days - and I'm expecting a bit of an avalanche of plaudits this time, that's for sure, so watch this space!
Here are just two of the plaudits received to date: [Don't you mean "the only two"? - Ed]
The first of the two plaudits to come pouring in was from new member Peter, who, incidentally, is also our oldest member. Peter has offered to give a similar talk to the group, this time on Mandarin Chinese - Peter learnt Chinese on National Service in the RAF in the 1950's and subsequently spent a year in Hong Kong, so he knows what he's talking about.
Well, the threat from China hasn't exactly gone away since the 1950's, has it - and it's in the news just at the moment [source: Onion News]
Anyway, be that as it may [Finally! - Ed], back to the Sunday Morning Meetings that Lois's church is holding in that village hall today!
As a contribution to the congregation's lunch today Lois and I bring with us this morning most of the strawberries that we picked yesterday at Clive's Fruit Farm - awwwww what a pity, but then that's Lois all over - generous to a fault.
flashback to yesterday - some of the strawberries we
collected at Clive's Fruit Farm
On the plus side, however, we're anticipating that Lois will be presented with a birthday cake in honour of her birthday last Wednesday. They did this last Sunday for church-member Janet. Something obviously goes wrong this morning, because no birthday cake appears during the lunch-break, which is a shame, especially as I have my phone with me on the table, ready to take some souvenir photos.
flashback to February 2023: one of the church's 20-or-so-strong
contingent of Iranian Christian refugees gets presented
with a birthday cake on behalf of the congregation
Incidentally, you're probably wondering about the temperature this morning in the village hall [Not me! - Ed]. Well, despite the fact that this is almost the middle of June, the app on my phone tells me that it's a shocking 63.5F (17.5C) in the hall, just 5 degrees (F) warmer that it is outside (58.2F or 14.5C).
Brrrrr !!!!!!!
Lois talks to fellow-church-member David as she makes me
a cup of coffee "to warm the poor old man up", which is nice!
Hilary being welcomed by fellow-church-member,
Janet, under the watchful eye of our dear late Queen Elizabeth
The drama pulled in an amazing cast - Alec Guinness, Lauren Bacall, Jeanne Moreau, Geraldine Chaplin, Leo McKern, John Randolph and others.
And it reminds us of something about old people that today's TV viewer doesn't get from all the official ceremonies and dutifully respectful documentaries.
Yes, it's sad but it's true - old people tend to be irritable, grumpy, grouchy, tetchy: you name it. And they're irritable even when they're going on what they say is going to be "the holiday of a lifetime" - going back to a beach where you suffered awful experiences but eventually triumphed, 50 years ago, when they were all young men in the prime of their youth.
Everybody's complaining about everybody else in this drama. Waldo, the American veteran, is complaining about the "limeys", and Cyril, the British veteran, is complaining about the "yanks". And they're both disappointed when they see Angelique, the local French "hooker" that they both went to bed with. Lois and I aren't quite sure why - she's still showing plenty of "leg", we notice!
What's the answer? They're both disappointed that Angelique doesn't remember them personally, it seems. But it turns out there's possibly a good reason for that....
At the end of the drama, however, there's reconciliation all round - even with the woman they meet and who they all think is American but she turns out to be a German. She married an American and has lived in America for nearly 50 years: she's come to visit the grave of her brother who died there with the German defenders on that same beach at the age of just 19.
Waldo returns the Rolex watch he took from his dead comrade-in-arms, laying it on the man's grave, that kind of thing, and at the end they are all united in their grief - limeys, yanks, the French hooker, and the German woman who lost her brother.
A heart-warming story to go to bed on which is nice.
And what a pity that neither Cyril and Waldo ever gave that French hooker Angelique much of a tip, all the times they went to bed with her.
It's not like that these days, Lois says in the US at least. You have to tip everybody, even the people who don't do anything for you, according to Sean Thomas in The Spectator. She saw it in "The Week".
Can it be true? I think we should be told, don't you? Whatever, it'll soon be coming to the UK, no doubt about that. What America does today the UK does tomorrow, we've noticed.
The article doesn't mention tips for French hookers, but I imagine that an additional tip for the hooker's "ponce" and possibly the hooker's hair stylist etc, and maybe the ponce's stylist too (?), would be "de rigeur" these days. But what do YOU think? Let me know haha!
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!
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