Do you ever get days which seem to be nonstop mayhem? And do you find that whenever you stop and try to take a "breather", that people won't stop bothering you?
Some days it's really hard to have a few quiet moments to yourself, isn't it, as local man Russell Godwin found the other day in the lovely Worcestershire village of Bell End. But let me let Russell tell you his story in his own way, as reported by Onion News:
And, to make matters worse, almost immediately after the meeting finishes, at 4 pm, her friend Hilary has arranged to pick poor Lois up and take her into Malvern for a couple of hours. Busy busy busy!
In the Nordic-noir murder mystery book that our U3A group is reading at the moment - Anna Grue's "Judaskysset" (The Judas Kiss) - the book's amateur crime-sleuth hero, Dan Dan the Advertising Man, is slowly working his way through his advertising bureau's crop of young female interns - referred to in the book collectively as "Dan's herring" (Danish: sild), which our group has agreed to translate into English as "Dan's crumpet".
Incidentally, you've probably already noticed, but the example sentence quoted at the end of the dictionary entry, "Store-Mulle måtte se sig nødsaget til at score endnu en uskyldig sild...etc" (English: [Herr]Store-Mulle was forced to score another innocent 'herring') actually contains another recent Danish language loan from English - "to score" in the sense of making a sexual conquest: another new one for Jeanette to cope with, because this usage was first recorded only in 1986.
Incidentally the exhibition publicity invites visitors to bring their children along, because some special displays have been arranged specifically for children, although I can't help feeling that that weird mannequin guy shown standing next to an explanatory poster, looking like the exhibition's "bouncer" or like some alien character out of a sci-fi horror movie, might scare the living daylights out of some youngsters, especially if they're what used to be called "of a nervous disposition"!
I can guess who the apparent "exhibition bouncer " really is, however - a miniature representation of the statue in the dream of Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon in about 600 BC, a story that's recounted in the Old Testament Book of Daniel.
Lois and I have had a busy day, and dear Readers, have you ever wished that, to save having to stop and go to the loo every so often you could just "pee on the go", just like that busy animal the pine-marten is able to do?
What a cracking end to the programme, and to the series, and as Packham intimates, "That's what you pay your license fee for", and how true that is!
Poor Lois !!!!!
a typical local U3A language group online meeting
The Danish group meeting goes okay, by the way, although sometimes I wonder why we bother. Honestly! So much time is taken up by members chatting (in English!) about their holiday plans - of which more later! [I can't wait! - Ed]
And sometimes I think that the group's biggest achievement is to keep our only genuinely Danish member, Jeanette, "up to speed" with the latest Danish slang: she left Denmark around 45 years ago, to marry an English guy called Mike, and ever since then she's been living in Cheltenham. So she's a bit "out of the loop" when it comes to modern Danish slang, "buzzwords" etc. My goodness, yes !!!!
Jeanette, the only genuinely Danish member of our local
U3A Intermediate Danish group, pictured here
on holiday in Australia with English husband Mike
Jeanette says she's never heard the Danish word for herring ("sild") being used in this sense in her entire life, but when I consult the online dictionary, it's apparent that the usage was first recorded only in 1982, when Jeanette had already left Denmark, so fair enough! Jeanette 0, Group 1 - back of the net haha! Only joking, Jeanette, we love you haha!
It's all madness isn't it. And how will Jeanette possibly cope if she ever decides to go back to "the old country" ?????!!!!! It's a bit like time-travellers coming back to Earth after - like - several billion years riding round the universe, isn't it.
Poor Jeanette !!!!!
16:00 And suddenly the online meeting's over, and we've just logged off, when our doorbell starts ringing - it's Lois' church friend Hilary, calling to take Lois into town to have a look at their church's Bible Fair or Bible Exhibition being held there for a couple of weeks in a town centre hotel's function room.
No peace for the wicked haha !!!!
By the way, I don't think the above pictures were taken in Malvern, because when Lois comes back, she tells me that the exhibition room at the hotel is really too small to do the exhibits justice, and that it's got an incredibly "cluttered" feel to it, which is a pity.
Likewise with this following picture, which shows a young child with her dad - it must have been taken at some previous venue for the exhibition, because there are obviously oodles of space for visitors to walk around and take in the exhibit at their leisure.
My goodness, yes !!!
I can guess who the apparent "exhibition bouncer " really is, however - a miniature representation of the statue in the dream of Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon in about 600 BC, a story that's recounted in the Old Testament Book of Daniel.
Lois's church holds to the 2000-year-old traditional Christian interpretation of the dream, namely, that the statue foretells the coming of the 4 big empires of the Ancient World - Babylon (the statue's head), Medo-Persia (the chest), Greece (the belly) and Rome (the legs): the stone at the foot of the statue represents God's kingdom, to be set up when our world comes to its end.
Incidentally, as you'll have gathered, Lois's church rejects the interpretation of modern scholars that the book of Daniel, while purporting to have been written as a prophecy during the exile of the Jewish people in Babylon in the 6th century BC, was actually written around 167 BC, and so was "prophesying" things that had actually already happened.
18:00 Lois comes back and we discuss (1) our interrupted nap in bed and "lessons learned" haha!, (2) her critique of her church's exhibition in the town, and (3) we also catch up on our reaction to the U3A Intermediate Danish meeting that we took part in online earlier in the afternoon. So it's quite a barnstormer of a session to put it mildly!
Do you remember how I said that our Danish group members waste a lot of time discussing - in English - their holiday plans etc, so that there isn't much time for doing any serious language study? [Not me! - Ed]
Well, Lois and I have to put our hands up this time and admit that we were every bit as guilty as everybody else, exclusively revealing to members that we'd booked a little holiday down in Burnham-on-Sea, Somerset for September. But it was a nice surprise to hear that Jeanette, our Danish member, was there last summer, and she and English husband Mike loved the place, and had a great time.
Yes, I booked the holiday earlier this week. Lois gets restless and what I call "scratchy", when we don't go away for a long time, and I can sympathise - partly it was just the Covid lockdown, but also it was my hip problems, that have kept us both a bit inactive for a couple of years or more now.
At long last, however, I'm starting to get more back up to speed with my shiny new hip. And we'll be staying right on the sea-front in September, and we'll be able to see the mighty Atlantic Ocean from the warmth and comfort of our bed - what could be better than that?
the flat we'll be renting on the promenade
at Burnham-on-Sea, Somerset
this will be the view from our bed - and it's a cracker,
that's for sure, the mighty Atlantic Ocean no less !
What could be better than to lie in a warm comfy double-bed in the morning and to be able to see the Atlantic waves crashing onto the beach, without even having get dressed, even, before we do it.
And it's extra special for me, because I've got my childhood memories of a happy holiday there as an 11-year-old back in 1957, a holiday with my dear late parents and my dear late siblings Kathy (9) and Steve (5). My surviving sibling Jill wasn't born till 1958, the following year.
And here's one of my favourite photos from the week - me with my nose in a book, as always! And sitting with my father (43) at the height of his powers, taking a summer break from his busy job of deputy headmaster at a big secondary modern school at Chalk Farm, North West London, and already planning his first headship, in Hale, Cheshire - a job he took up in 1958, the following year.
flashback to 1957: me with my father, then at the height of
his powers, on the beach at Burnham-on-Sea, Somerset
Happy days !!!!
And I'm hoping to persuade Lois to help me recreate that iconic picture with a couple of deckchairs and a selfie this September if I can, so watch this space!
[I won't be holding my breath! - Ed]
21:00 We wind down with the last programme in the current series of Springwatch, the series that monitors the state of the UK's wildlife with the help of live presenters in various parts of the country.
The male pine-marten, anxious to spread his scent over a wide an area as he can, hasn't got time, obviously to go to the loo properly, and also he doesn't want to make unnecessary stops along the way, as he works his way through his little "to do list".
So male pine-martens have learned how to pee backwards and just keep moving, without having to step through their pee after they've done it. Makes perfect sense when you think about it, doesn't it!
a pine-marten, seen here peeing backwards
which means it can stay dry, and doesn't have to stop
for a moment while working through its busy "to do list"
Apparently this is called "retromingency", although lead Springwatch presenter Chris Packham, somewhat disappointingly, does caution viewers in advance "not to try this at home", which is a pity!
And Lois and I can't wait till October and the new series of "Autumnwatch" for more revelations such as these! [It's already been cancelled! - Ed]
Roll on, October!!!!
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz!!!!!!
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