Danskcolin: Thursday June 6th 2024 A Viking's "squeeze" brings me my tea, which is nice!

Yikes! It's already Thursday, and my zoom so-called "presentation" to our local U3A "History of English" group is looming large, to put it mildly.

And I can tell that the other group-members are in a state of excitement already, 24 hours ahead of my talk - I can tell, because I've already been getting requests about my appearance this time - I think people remember with disquiet my appearance at a previous talk I gave to the group, when I dressed up as a Viking to talk about the contribution of the Old Norse language to the development of English. Many group-members told me privately that they were quite ill for several days after the experience, I seem to remember!

me dressed up as a Viking warrior for my presentation

on "The Influence of Old Norse on the history of English"

- some of the "clobber" we picked up on one of our trips to Denmark

I even got my poor medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois to come in during my presentation with my cup of tea, dressed up in some sort of polar-bearskin. I cringe now when I think of it!

Lois, dressed as Viking warrior's "squeeze"

to bring me a cup of tea during my presentation

Tomorrow I'll be talking about the Hungarian language and its lack of influence on the history of English, and I've had a request today from joint group-leader Joe to wear one of my Hungarian medals this time.

Well, chance would be a fine thing! Lois and I recently downsized from our large 3-bed 1930's style semi in Cheltenham to our current much smaller new-build home here in Malvern, and half of the stuff we brought hasn't come to light yet - and my Hungarian "Excellent Worker" medal is one of those things, I'm afraid! I'll have another look tomorrow, however, so watch this space ! [I'm not holding my breath! - Ed]

1994: me (left) and my old friend "Magyar" Mike on my first visit to

Hungary. We're showcasing our a second-hand "excellent worker"

medals from the communist era, which we bought at a flea market

in Pécs, a town in southern Hungary

If it turns out I can't find my medal, I could always wear my rude Hungarian t-shirt with the "Keep Calm" message on the front.

It's a pity that at the very bottom of the shirt there's a rather rude expression in Hungarian, but I'm assuming that knowledge of Hungarian is fairly limited amongst members of our U3A group. If anybody asks me what it means, I'm planning to say it's a message of support to "Meg" - ie Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, and I think I can probably get away with that.

I wonder..... !!!!

My "get-up" for tomorrow's talk is the main thing I've now got to sort out now, between now and 2:30pm tomorrow afternoon. And Lois and I discuss the problem at length during our walk round this new-build estate here in Malvern today.

And just to confirm, Lois has absolutely refused to wear a bearskin tomorrow when she brings me my tea during my zoom session, and I've got to respect that decision - this is the 2020's after all haha!

Different subject - are you finding your life a bit difficult at the moment, dear Reader, if you don't mind my asking, that is! Do you suffer from low self-esteem, relationship problems? Are you a total failure at your job?

A lot of people would say yes to all those questions, I think, and I wonder... and if you're one of these unfortunates, have you ever thought that it might be because you've never been to Paris? A quick visit to Paris solves most problems, my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I believe quite sincerely.

If you don't believe me, just look at the experience of local young woman Hailey Allen, from the lovely Worcestershire village of Lickey End - source Onion News:

By coincidence we hear today that my younger sister Jill will this month be visiting Paris - the French one haha! - ahead of her own upcoming downsizing move from a house in Cambridge to a harbourside flat in Ipswich, Suffolk in July. All very brave of her, because she's got to do all these things on her own, although we're pleased to hear she's getting a lot of help with her move from old school and college friends.

I don't think Lois and I will ever see Paris again - we're both 78 now, and there's no cure for that condition, sadly: medical science is baffled, it seems, so I guess we've just got to live with it till somebody comes up with a bright idea - researchers please note haha!

We have got our memories at least - we visited Paris in March 1992, when we were both 46, and Lois was studying for her PA diploma at the Gloscat college in Cheltenham, looking all smart and "business-y" in her cute new shorty hair-style. Remember that?

flashback to March 1992: Lois on the balcony of

our bedroom in that little hotel in Montmartre, Paris...

...and opposite the famous Moulin Rouge nightclub

Awwwwwww !!!!! Is she a cutie, or is she a cutie haha !!!!

Happy days !!!!!

20:00 We go to bed on this week's edition of Springwatch, the series that monitors the state of wildlife in the UK in this spring of 2024, with the help of live presenters from around the country.

It's a bit of a different programme from the usual tonight, however, because of the very public and on-air "bust-up" between lead presenter Chris Packham and other members of his team, a bust-up that you've probably already heard about on the national news and social media.

It's no secret that Packham is a enthusiastic student of excrement in all its many forms, and so he was understandably outraged yesterday when a segment on a fly lunching on squirrel poo was, in an astonishingly random decision, cut out of the programme in order to feature - in Packham's words - "a bunch of cute baby birds and fluffy fox-cubs and other typical Springwatch-trivia".

Lead "Springwatch" presenter Packham (left)

expressing his feelings of grievance in front of

fellow presenters Michaela Strachan and Iolo Williams

The press is calling it "Flygate" aren't they. And a very aggrieved Packham went on social media yesterday to make this statement to reporters: "We have just had the dress-rehearsal, and [it turns out] we had to cut something out because we were a couple of minutes over. We've got kestrels, siskins, death-rays, and do you know what they [i.e. the programme's editorial management] cut out? A fly on some squirrel poo ! "

And later in the day, a distressed Packham emerged to make this agreed compromise statement to the press on behalf of himself and his fellow-presenters: "We understand the disappointment of viewers after the withdrawal of the footage of a fly feeding on grey squirrel excrement. Excluding this material to show cute baby birds and fluffy cubs and the day-to-day dramas of pond life was a grave error and we apologise unreservedly. We remain committed to flies and to excrement [my bolds]"

Anyway some sort of compromise deal seems to have been worked out, and tonight we see the excluded footage in full, so that's a relief, to put it mildly!

And in the nick of time - did you know that next week is officially National Fly Week, in the UK at least, and maybe it's worldwide - I think we should be told, don't you!

Lois and I are glad some sort of deal was stitched up, because there's more, fascinating footage in tonight's programme. Who knew, for instance, that male spiders tend to show their romantic side and their talent for music, when courting a female?