Danskcolin: Sunday September 14th 2025 "Have YOU ever stumbled across somebody primeval, in your back garden perhaps haha?"

Yes, friends, have YOU ever discovered somebody primeval, maybe at a party, or lurking in your back garden, halfway to fully asleep perhaps?

It's been known to happen, hasn't it, to put it mildly! And there's a classic case in this morning's local Onion News for East Hampshire. Just rustle those pages all the way to Page 94 - you'll be glad you did !!!!

Poor potential progenitor!!!!

And let's hope that "PPP", as my light-to-medium wife Lois and I are calling that poor older guy this morning.. let's hope that that older guy wakes up in time to get a thorough "going over" in old man Grisewood's lab - for his own safety if for nothing else (!).

my light-to-medium wife Lois and me - a recent picture

You wouldn't think it to look at us, in that recent photo, but Lois and I have two bouncing daughters - not that they do too much bouncing nowadays as they negotiate "the big five-ohhhh" (!) - Alison, the older one, has turned 50 this year and Sarah has turned 48.

Lois and I somehow managed to spawn children, despite the fact that we are slightly related, although only through marriage - hence our two thankfully fairly-healthy children (!).

Lois and me (ringed) together with our 2 daughters and our 5 grandchildren,

plus the 2 sons-in-law Edward and Francis, who had a hand in it too, or so they say (!)

And these "facts of life" are gently rammed into us this morning, when I drive Lois from our home in semi-grassy Liphook, Hampshire to her church's Sunday Morning Meeting outside the nearby town of Petersfield, after which we happen to talk to fellow church-member Roger.

(left, centre) Lois and me at her church's Sunday Morning Meeting

this morning, and (right) fellow church-member Roger (ringed)

Roger turns out to be a distant scion of a local noble family, one which almost died out due to interbreeding, the great unspoken curse of the British aristocracy through the centuries, condemned to marry somebody else noble, with disastrous genetic consequences, to put it mildly (!).

Roger's aristocratic forebears, the Jones family, were the owners of an Oxfordshire stately home, Chastleton House, which Lois and I visited once, back in the day, when our 2 daughters were still growing up and living with us. The family's fortune was originally based on their earnings as successful Welsh wool-merchants.

And the family looked after the house faithfully, until it was sold to the National Trust in 1991. Chastleton is reputed to be England's best preserved Jacobean house, also known for its iconic croquet matches.

(left) the 17th century Chastleton House in Oxfordshire, and (right)

one of the house's iconic croquet matches recently taking place in the grounds

And this morning I find that I myself have a somewhat surprising link with Roger - we both suspect we're descended from medieval Welsh princes. Roger thinks he's descended from Owen Glendower who fought to free Wales from English domination in the 15th century, and I've been told by researchers that I am probably a descendant of Gwaethfoed of Powys, a Welsh prince who liked the English, and was a close buddy of the Anglo-Saxon king, Edgar I, back in the 10th century.

We suspected descendants of Welsh princes have got to stick together, that's for sure. We're distinctly in a minority and we might find ourselves getting persecuted.

Just saying!

the bit of old parchment that "proves" my lineage, through my mother, to

to 10th century Welsh prince Gwaithfoed of Powys (top left).

Medieval Welsh princes were another somewhat genetically inbred group (!), so memo to self: I must warn our 5 grandchildren not to have anything to do with anybody called Jones, to be on the safe side (!).

And never, never accept an invitation from a Jones to a spot of croquet on the lawn!!

croquet on the lawn - probably best avoided haha !!!!

Just saying !!!!

19:00 Yes, Chastleton House, where Roger's family ruled the roost till as recently as 1991, is known for its croquet matches, a traditional English country sport, and tonight Lois and I watch an interesting TV programme in the Countryfile series, where another English country sport - the village cricket match - is highlighted.

Lois and I didn't know that the inspiration for the world's longest-running current radio soap-opera, "The Archers", first broadcast in 1951, came from the Worcestershire village of Inkberrow, near where we used to live, when we were in Malvern. And in tonight's programme the Countryfile team visit the village and talk to some of the people whose forebears were around in the area when this ancient radio soap opera first aired.

In this fascinating sequence presenter Charlotte Smith gets shown how to be a successful batsman (or should I say batswoman (!)).

Yes, don't be too rigid, you need to maintain a bit of flexibility - how often have Lois and I told each other that haha!

To a lot of people today, however, traditional "country sports" are a bit old fashioned, and they're demanding something a bit more tough-minded and spicier, to put it mildly!

And as if to prove this, Lois and I go to a bed on a new elimination game-show from Mitchell and Webb. It's called "Hot Seat", although we're almost put off when we see the video clips where this year's unpleasantly competitive contestants introduce themselves - yikes !!!!

Yikes ! What a thoroughly unpleasant group of contestants!

Finally, here's Susan:

Yikes (again) !!! And Lois and I don't know which contestant to "root for" - they're all equally unpleasant "go-getters" to put it mildly!

And we have to say also, that when it comes to the actual game itself and the way the contestants get eliminated, we're a bit disappointed.

Is it just us, or is "Hot Seat" merely a souped-up version of the old "musical chairs" game that we all used to play as kids? Your views welcome - postcards only !!!!