Yes, Friends, are YOU thinking IKEA for your next furniture purchase? Be sure to check it thoroughly before hauling it through the checkouts, and parting with your well-earned 'spondulix', won't you! This morning's Onion News has a salutary tale to tell on the subject - just turn to page 94!!!
my wife Lois and me - a recent picture
Having originally 'downsized' back in 2022, and got rid of, like, a billion pieces of furniture - more probably! - we then regretted it, and 'upsized', finding, however, that our latest house was alarmingly empty-looking. We should have foreseen this, but that's us all over: do it first, and think about it afterwards - that's the Colin and Lois way with everything we do haha!!!
We have to laugh at ourselves - what a pair of complete 'noggins' we are!!!!
And we're not the only Brits feeling the pressure, according to the latest edition of political magazine Private Eye, that 'plops' through our letterbox today.
What a crazy country we live in!!!
And let's hope that that other famous plumber in this week's news, Robert Kenyon, the Reform Party's candidate in the forthcoming Makerfield by-election, doesn't get revealed to have starred in any of those dodgy films that Katherine Ryan seems to like! He's got enough on his plate with all those mad social media comments that the press say he's been making, to put it mildly!!!!
(left) today's text exchange with a local IKEA 'taskrabbit', who'll be coming on Monday
to assemble our second shiny-new flatpack 'Bingsta' armchair, and (right)
flashback to March 2024 - Lois 'test-driving' our first Bingsta with her usual aplomb (!)
Yes, and it's only 9.30am on this coolish Saturday morning, and we're already feeling quite exhausted - once again, it's 'all go' in this house, that's for sure: busy busy busy!!!!
Yes, despite this week being a Bank Holiday week, with all the kids being off school and all, there's no shortage of stories for our hard-pressed journalists to keep us up to date with, it seems!
Just see Private Eye's handy digest of last weekend's highlights - it'll make you tired just reading about all the mayhem that's going on in this crazy country we call 'home' !!!!
And for Lois and me, even our garden doesn't give us a moment's peace, would you believe, and soon Lois is outside our front window dead-heading roses, and Yours Truly has to get the lawnmower out of its hiding-place in the garage and make it venture outside to do its work on our grass. Busy busy busy - you wouldn't think, would you, that Lois and I have been retired for over 20 years, and still, still (!), we can't stay in bed beyond, say, 9am - it's total madness !!!!!!
How did we ever find the time to go to work, back in the day !!!!!
On tonight's show, team-captain Paul Merton reveals that all is not what it seems with the annual "Hot Priests Calendar". They're not even real priests, says Merton, and presenter Katherine Ryan confirms.
our crazy morning: Lois dead-heading some roses, and me - the perfect match of
man and machine (!), doing a 'half-indecent' job on our front and side so-called 'lawns'
- what madness, isn't it !!!!
Even after all that 'malarkey' (!), Lois and I can only get, at most, a couple of hours in bed this afternoon, before getting down to it again on the sofa, researching possible attractions for our lovely daughter Sarah and family to possibly see in London, when they fly in from Perth, Australia next month for a couple of weeks. Our 12-year-old twin granddaughters, Lily and Jessica, want to see a couple of extra things - the view from the top of the 1000 ft high Shard Building, and also the 19th century sailing ship the Cutty Sark, moored on the Thames at Greenwich - the little 'monkeys' (!). And I've got to start tidying up our office as extra guest-bedroom space for the family.
"No peace for the wicked!" - that's what Lois and I always say!!!!
(left) Lois and me on the sofa making plans for the visit of our dear daughter Sarah
and her family, who'll be flying in from Perth, Australia next month, and (right) me
clearing out our so-called 'home office' as extra guest-bedroom space - what madness!!!
[That's enough madness! - Ed]
And there's more shock news to come this evening, as Lois and I settle down to watch this week's edition of comedy news quiz, "Have I Got News For You", hosted this week by our favourite Canadian import, comedienne Katherine Ryan.
And it also comes as a shock to this week's panellists to hear that top 'hot priest' Giovanni Galizia (see above) has been the 'cover star' of the calendar for 23 years in a row, so presumably he must be quite old now, which is mad. And Giovanni is definitely not a priest - he's a flight attendant for a Spanish airline, according to the Independent newspaper.
Host Katherine Ryan, however, is outraged by the revelation.
He's in enough trouble as it is!!!!!
Poor Kenyon !!!!!!
But what a crazy world we live in !!!!!!
Will this do?
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!
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