Danskcolin: Tuesday May 5th 2026 "Have YOU ever had to host 'difficult' guests? Well, the good news is

Yes, Friends, have you ever had to host difficult guests? We've all been there, haven't we!

According to Onion News, however, 'help is on the way', thanks to Coleman's, of all people, which is a welcome development, to put it mildly!!!!

Kudos, Coleman's !!!!!

And reading the Onion story this morning, here in semi-transparent Liphook, Hampshire, brings a smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, that's for sure!!!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

We're laughing because item no. 1 on our to-do list for today is to buy a mattress, would you believe, but we're not going to go for a Coleman's SinkRest, you'll be glad to know! In a couple of months we'll be hosting our 48-year-old daughter Sarah, who'll be flying into London's Heathrow Airport from Perth, Australia, with husband Francis and their 12-year-old twin daughters Lily and Jessica.

flashback to 2021: (above) our daughter Sarah and husband Francis, and

(below) their twin daughters Lily and Jessica with the family's shiny new 16ft boat,

ready for launching on to the Swan River, just outside Perth, Australia

Francis, our son-in-law is "a martyr to his back", poor guy (!), and so today Lois and I, kind-hearted as ever (!), are ordering a 2 inch 'mattress topper' to make his nights a bit more comfortable, which will be a nice surprise for him. And we're also taking the opportunity to buy a second "Bingsta" armchair from Swedish furniture giant IKEA, so he'll be able to sit with the rest of us, and not be constantly scrambling on and off the floor, in our tiny living-room!

We're all heart haha!!!!!

(above) the adverts one for a 'mattress topper' and one for a second IKEA Bingsta armchair

the ads which seduced Lois and me into opening our wallets (!), and letting

the moths fly out haha (!), and (below) our first ever, and only, 'Bingsta'

which Lois and I constantly fight each other to sit in - pure luxury !!!!!

As you can tell, this Tuesday is turning into another busy busy day for Lois and me, despite the fact that we've been retired for 20 years last month, would you believe!!!!

Somehow we also find the time to do a bit of work in our tiny garden, even, with me mowing, and Lois clipping the edges and 'excising' some of the, like, billion dandelions which keep popping up to plague us - no peace for the wicked haha !!!!

just another busy day for us - me mowing, and Lois 'trimming the edges'

especially on the 'difficult bit' between the little brick wall and the street

I don't mind mowing occasionally, because I think the sight of me out of the house, and out of my armchair (!), is a bit of a "turn-on" for the local housewives, who like to look out of their windows to watch a bit of prime 'beefcake' in high action!

[??? - Ed[

And Lois doesn't mind, because she says that the housewife's life today must be so boring, with all the gadgets that nowadays take the strain out of so many of the daily chores, so that's a win-win!

In the latest programme in Michael Portillo's new series on Korean train journeys he visits the Samsung factory and sees some of the 'smart' gadgets now in so many 'smart' homes - oh dear!!!!

Here we see Michael at Samsung's being shown around a prototype 'smart' home by research manager Tae Lee:

Lee's 'home' now knows that he's arrived home, and automatically switches on the living-room light., so the curtains open, the blinds go up, and the lights come on as he walks inside. Then the TV comes on. And the devices all communicate with each other to minimise energy consumption.

Inside the fridge is a camera which will manage the contents, and it gives Lee a recipe recommendation based on the foods he likes. The new Samsung 'smart home' then helps you cook it. It tells the tap on the kitchen sink how much water to release for your packet of noodles, for example, if you scan in the label. And when you bring the pot over to the hob to cook, it will automatically set the right temperature for the pot to boil the water.

What madness !!!!!

And Lois is very "anti" all these electronic aids. She says that people will soon lose the ability to do anything at all! And what, she says, will people do, if there's a power cut, for example?

What a crazy world we live in!!!!

But not everything the world does is crazy (even though it seems like sometimes!!!!!), as we learn from tonight's episode of "Susan Calman's Grand Days Out" on Channel 5.

Tonight we see the presenter, diminutive (four foot eleven!!!!) Scottish comedienne Susan Calman just outside Stoke-on-Trent, being shown around the Wedgwood Pottery Museum by a tall-to-tallish museum guide, and having to crane her neck a bit to talk to her, as she often does in this series (!), trying to find out more about Josiah Wedgwood the man.

Lois and I didn't know that iconic pottery manufacturer Josiah Wedgewood (1730-1795) was the first manufacturer to offer any dissatisfied customers a money-back guarantee on his products, and also the first to introduce "BOGOFF"s - "Buy one, get one free".

He was also an enthusiastic supporter of the anti-slavery movement, which was gathering pace in Britain in the late 18th century. His contribution to the movement was to produce thousands of jasperware medallions, distributed for free, showing a recently enslaved man in chains, asking, "Am I not a man, and a brother?"