Friday May 8th 2026 "Did YOU get confronted by a creature from hell, when you cast YOUR vote this week?"

Yes, Friends, did YOU get "propositioned" by a creature from hell, as you cast your vote in this week's UK local county council elections? Well, it happened in America, didn't it, and you know what they say - what happens in the US happens 10 years later in the UK! And that US election was the big story in today's Onion News' popular "From the Archives" column!!!!

Turn to page 94, and cower in terror !!!!!

Poor voters !!!!! Those crazy US elections eh !!!!!!

Reading the story today, however, here in semi-precious Liphook, Hampshire, UK brings a naughty smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois today as we take our near-daily walk over the "hallowed turf" of local soccer giants, Liphook United, that's for sure!

my wife Lois and me on our near-daily walk, which today brings us

over the "hallowed turf" of local soccer heroes Liphook United

Today is county council election results day here, by coincidence, but we fail to see any "flesh-eating zombies", or anybody else, for that matter (!), as we tread that "hallowed turf", completely on our own, as it turns out, would you believe!!! 

Yes, today for once, there isn't a soul around, dead, half-dead or undead, you name it !!!! Maybe the electoral "walking corpses" are having lunch, perhaps on a nice plate or two of human flesh!!!! 

You see, it's already lunchtime, and Lois and I are running a bit later than usual today, not getting out of the house till gone 12 noon, due to Lois wanting to plant her six seed-potatoes this morning in our tiny so-called vegetable garden, which is mad!!!! 

But could that chance judgment have saved our lives, in hindsight??? 

(left) my wife Lois pointing to where she sowed her 4 seed-potatoes, and (right)

her beans and courgettes, some of which are beginning to sprout. It was madness, 

of course, but did that decision to plant today end up saving our lives?????

I wonder....!!!!

Later the shock news comes in, however, that, in East Hampshire at least, the Conservatives have fought off a strong challenge from the Lib Dems, in 4 out of the seven divisions, with poor old Andy Tree in a minority of one, as the sole representative of the Whitehill and Bordon Community Party, which, let's face it, is a party with a name that isn't going to win them many votes outside of Whitehill and Bordon, is it! 

Face facts, Andy haha!!!! And possibly also consider changing your party's damaging, self-destructive name perhaps haha!!!

(above) vote-counters at County Hall today, waiting for the votes to come in,

and (below) East Hampshire's results with Liphook's winning candidate

Debbie Curnow-Ford (crazy name, crazy gal!), standing for the Conservatives

Kudos, Debbie !!!!!

Elsewhere, in the big world outside East Hampshire, news comes in, later, however, that Nigel Farage's Reform Party has been making gains again. 

Lois and I aren't too worried, however, because most councils, we hope, won't have any party with an overall majority, which is nice, because then they will all have to work together, like Lois and I do, i.e. just as if they were sensible people (!). And it won't affect the national scene - Keir Starmer's Labour Party still has a thumping big majority in the House of Commons, and there doesn't have to be an election for 3 years. Also, there doesn't seem to be an obvious replacement for Keir, so that's all good!

And hopefully, by 2029, Farage will have been fully revealed for being the kind of character he really is - let's hope so !!!

But we'll see!

Lois and I feel more threatened, not so much by Farage himself, as by the prospect of crypto-currency, because Farage seems to be good pals with some crypto-currency mega-rich guy based in Thailand, according to tonight's edition of "Have I Got News For You", the comedy news quiz. 

What madness!!!!

And Lois and I are, currently, completely out of crypto-currency just at the moment, would you believe, which is bad luck, isn't it haha!!!!

Lois and I didn't know that, back in 2024, Farage accepted an undeclared £5 million pound personal gift from a Thailand-based crypto-currency billionaire, and that it was shortly after that, that Farage "reconsidered" his previous decision not to stand for Parliament. 

But that need not be suspicious at all, as Ian Hislop helpfully explains on tonight's show!!!!

So that's all right then haha !!!!

Jon Richardson, however, is worried about why, after 2 years, Farage still hasn't declared that £5 million 'personal gift' he received from the Thai-based billionaire.

And veteran comedienne Sheila Hancock is worried that, if Farage ever got into power, we'd all have to start using this mysterious 'crypto-currency', the currency that that Thai-based cryptocurrency billionaire seems to want us to use!

So Ian Hislop's your man, if you want some 'crypto', nudge-nudge, wink-wink! He's always got some, apparently in his inside jacket pocket, which is handy! You read it here first haha !!!!

But what a crazy country we live in !!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!