Saturday July 18th 2026 "Friends, are you about to get the better of an insect in YOUR house?"

Yes, Friends, are YOU starting to get the better of an insect, in your house, a mosquito perhaps,  that's been particularly targeting YOU?

Because fortunately, for many of us, the tide of this relentless war is turning, at least for plucky local resident Derek Moore, according to this Onion News exclusive.

Kudos, Derek !!!!!

Poor Derek !!!!!

And reading about local man Derek's heroic duel brings a much needed smile to the bite-ridden faces of me and my wife Lois, here in semi-tropical Liphook, Hampshire - no doubt about that!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

We just yesterday said farewell to our daughter Sarah and family - husband Francis and their 12-year-old daughters Lily and Jessica - who have this morning returned to their home in Perth, Australia, after a 3-week stay in our house, ending in an epic 16 hour non-stop flight from London's Heathrow Airport, would you believe!

flashback to 6:45am, Friday morning - we bid a tearful farewell 

to our daughter Sarah, husband Francis and their 12-year-old twin daughters,

on their way to Heathrow to catch the morning flight to Perth, Australia - sob sob!!!!

And poor Lois and me are now left, once more, alone in our house, rattling around like two peas in a drum, with only our memories, plus several mosquito bites from our adventures, as we took the family around the area, braving the unusual heatwave over the last 3 weeks, which is a pity !!!!

Our current tubes of soothing witch hazel gel now standing empty, we're forced to use an old bottle of the stuff, past its "best before" date, a nostalgic relic of the UK's last official heatwave - what madness!

I showcase our remaining bottle of witch hazel for treating

our many mosquito bites - yes, it's past its best-buy date, a relic

of the UK's last official heatwave! What madness, isn't it !!!!

Not only that, but today we have to start putting our house to rights again, stripping beds and washing bedding - you will have been through the same kind of thing, I'm sure!!!!

beds to be stripped, and towels and bedding to be washed - what madness!!!

Yes, what a madness it all is - isn't it!

Poor us !!!!!!!

And now, suddenly having to focus just on each other, after 3 weeks of hosting an Australian family of four, an exhausted Lois and I decide to spend the afternoon in bed, which is a bit decadent of us, because we're supposed to be in the local village hall watching a local play about a local writer, but, then, that's just us! 

We decide to throw caution to the winds, and switch our tickets to next Saturday at nearby Headley, when we'll eventually, hopefully, get to see the acclaimed 'local play for local people', "Flora Heatherly", all about local writer Flora Thompson (1876-1947), who wrote the autobiographical 'Lark Rise to Candleford' which was a big hit drama series on the BBC a few years ago. You must remember that!!!!

So hopefully we'll see that next week - if we're not in bed (!) - so watch this space!!!

[I can't wait! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!!!