Yes, Friends, after dithering for years about what advice to give out during the modern heat-waves, the good old Met Office has at last figured out something very practical, according to this morning's Onion News, which comes as something of a relief!
At last, some Met Office advice that's supremely practical, which makes a change! And reading the guidelines this afternoon in our copy of Onion News, here in semi-tropical Liphook, Hampshire brings a sweaty smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois - no question about that!
We've even got some supplementary advice to offer the Met Office, if they're reading this, and certainly we all need advice when you look at the actual high temperature measured here in Liphook this afternoon - 93F (34C), would you believe!
"But what's YOUR advice for local Brits, Colin?", I hear you cry!
Simples, isn't it !!!
Yes, this particular dating app is called "Bumpkin", which sounds a bit random, but it turns out that, according to Alexis, there's a good reason for its somewhat quirky name !!!!
There's a problem, however, because Alexis's old beau, Ted, is also a vet, and it seems that Miguel, her new potential beau, being also a vet, is actually the only other vet in town, and Schitt's Creek is a painfully small town! Need I say more?
David, however, remains sceptical that somebody like Miguel would want to 'hook up' with a girl like his sister Alexis.
This is all very annoying to David, who's going through a painful break-up with his own current "squeeze", co-worker Patrick, and David wastes no time in underlining that fact to Alexis, and in no uncertain terms!
me and my wife Lois - a recent picture
What madness, isn't it!!!!
"But what's YOUR advice for local Brits, Colin?", I hear you cry!
Well, seeing as how you're obviously interested (!), Colin says, "Stay indoors, "hunker down" and don't do anything very much!" - advice which Lois and I ourselves are following to the letter today, that's for sure!
With a pedestal fan next to the sofa for the morning and evening, and one next to our bed for afternoon "statutory nap-time", we're fully "set up" for the day, no worries haha!!!
(left) our two most powerful pedestal fans, one at head-level for the sofa
and (right) at bed-level for the afternoons - what could be easier !!!!!
Call us "hot-headed hedonists" if you like, but only if you can say it without getting all "steamed up", as young people say nowadays haha!!!!
What a crazy world we live in !!!!!
Well, Lois and I ARE retired, so I think we've earned our current life of leisure!
[I'd just like to see some hard evidence, anything in writing, to corroborate your claims about your so-called 'earning process' Colin! - Ed]
However, just compare the life of our daughter Alison, just over the county line in Churt, Surrey - compare, and weep!!! Alison and her family are renting a house there, while their real home, a crumbling Victorian mansion in Headley, is being refurbished, although, thankfully, the refurbishment work is at last in its final stages. So, for them, it's all "busy busy busy", no doubt about that!
(above) our daughter Alison, with husband Edward and their 3 teenage kids,
seen on their recent holiday in Spain, and (below, left) their crumbling Victorian
mansion in Headley, Hampshire, with (below, right) their temporary rental
home just over the county line in Churt, Surrey, which Lois and I were "keeping an eye on"
"So, all well and good", you might say!
However, the fact is that the increasingly frequent, regular meetings with the family's builders are becoming a constant irritant, to put it mildly! As if Ali and husband Edward haven't got enough to do, what with Edward's busy 'London lawyer' job, and the couple's 3 very active teenage kids to drive to this and that, plus two cats and two dogs and a bunch of tropical fish, with at least one of them needing to be driven to the vet's (the pets, not the kids!!!). But what madness, isn't it!!!
And what a week they've been having already, to judge from Alison's latest whatsapp text (extract)!
Thankfully, however, when night falls, Lois and I can recover some sanity, binge-watching more latest episodes in the long-running Canadian series "Schitt's Creek": the "riches-to-rags" story about a billionaire couple, Johnny and Moira Rose, who lose their fortune thanks to a crooked business associate, and are forced to rent 2 rooms in a seedy motel in the backwoods town of Schitt's Creek, with their useless grown up kids, David and Alexis.
the Roses - Johnny an ex-billionaire down on his luck, with
wife Moira and useless grown-up kids David and Alexis
Tonight's episode focuses on the romantic problems of the Rose family's two useless grown-up kids, David and Alexis. David's affair with co-worker Patrick is in deep trouble, and Alexis's fling with town vet Ted has also run aground after veterinarian Ted falls for one of his middle-aged "cat ladies", which is a pity!
In this scene, Alexis gets a "match" message from a new dating app, when she is in the bathroom of their motel room. And her brother David, who is still in bed, picks up her phone for her.
Alexis is impatient for David to hand over her phone, again for a good reason, because the app is saying that she "has a new match", which is exciting! For the moment, however, her brother David is hanging on to the phone, much to his sister's annoyance!
Uh oh !!!
Oops, yes, don't leave out the "wink emoji" haha!
Kids today, honestly!!!!
But poor David!!!!
Fascinating stuff, though, isn't it!
[If you say so! - Ed]
Will this do?
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!!!
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