Danskcolin: Friday August 21st 2026 "Friends, in all this heat, are bugs 'bugging' you today

Yes, Friends, what with all these periodic heatwaves this summer, has YOUR house of flat seen invasions of little bugs and flies, that have suddenly seemed to "crawl out of the woodwork" - again, no pun intended!!!

The "uptick" in ticks and other bugs [That's enough unintended puns! - Ed] is certainly "infesting" (!) the press with lots of lurid headlines at the moment. totally filling page 94 of my print version of Onion News - the page I normally use to 'swat' them with, which is ironic!!!!

The stories are even making me and my wife Lois show the beginnings of an awkward smile today, here in the semi-paradise humans (and others!) call Liphook, Hampshire - there's no mistaking that!!!!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

Putting my cards on the table at this point, I'd like to point out that even Lois and I have recently been "bugged" by a bug in our own dear house here in Liphook, Hampshire - an annoying little dozy house-fly, who's nonetheless too 'fly' (!) to be caught by our shiny new humane bug-catcher, from Coopers of Stortford.

Humming "No More Mr Nice Guy", however, and googling our problem on the internet this morning, I find this intriguing suggestion from that nice Mr. Google, which I decide to try out at once - you know what I'm like, me being Mr "No Time Like The Present" incarnate !!!!

I decide to use a repurposed margarine tub, with honey as my "attractant". However, Lois says I'm a fool to stick a large "Fly Trap" notice, but I'm pretty sure that most flies don't speak English. Also I don't want to be accused, either of not giving fair warning, or of being accused of "entrapment", should the matter ever come to court. You can't be too careful these days - even flies have their 'lobbies' and 'spokes-flies', which is totally mad, I know!!

By the end of today, the results of what I believe spies call a "honey trap" (!) are inconclusive - no little fly-corpses floating in the tub so far, I can (exclusively) reveal, but it's early days, so watch this space!!!!

[I don't think I'll bother! - Ed]

And my flytrap 'malarkey' marks just the start of another typically day for Lois and me, making another of our rare public appearances this morning doing more watering of our plants and vegetables, using so-called 'grey water' (our used water), followed by another challenging 4000-step walk over the local recreation ground.

(left) Lois watering shrubs in our tiny front-garden, and (right)

us doing another challenging 4000-step walk over the local 'rec' (recreation ground)!

Talk about a hectic day! No wonder neighbours have dubbed us "Liphook's busiest-looking retired couple"!

But like all busy-looking people, we have a guilty secret, which is that we spend most of our afternoons in bed for "statutory nap-time", so no wonder we can afford to look busy in the mornings! Well, something's got to give, hasn't it - with our new semi-official title of "Mr and Mrs Busy-Looking", we've got an image to maintain, and batteries to be constantly recharged! Well, we're only human, despite appearances!!!

the secret behind our public "busy-looking" image -

afternoons in bed for "statutory nap-time"

16:00 Four o'clock, and out of bed already (!), we even have time to catch BBC Radio 4's "Last Word" programme, while we drink our Early Greys and munch on our Ryvitas!

We always like to listen to this weekly radio obit-roundup, if we can, not only to keep up with "Who's died this week", but also to get a degree of confirmation from the fact that we ourselves are not on it yet (!), which is always nice to know!

I have to say that Lois and I shed only a few tears this afternoon for former Chinese Premier Zhu Rongji (1928-2026). Yes, at the turn of the millennium, he brought in some much-needed economic and business reforms to the then-creaking and hopelessly inefficient and corrupt Chinese economy, but he remained wedded to the idea of China as a one-party state, which was a pity.

We are unmitigatedly sorry, however, to hear of the passing of rock band ZZ Top's drummer, Frank Beard, at the age of 77. This man, despite his name, was the sole "under-bearded" member of the arguably "over-bearded" rock group ZZ Top. The band formed in 1969 and produced nearly 20 albums before being finally inducted into the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame in 2004.

Frank Beard (right,centre) and (left), the seriously 'underbearded'

drummer for the arguably 'overbearded' rock band ZZ Top - what madness!!!!

Frank won both our hearts long ago. Despite the band's success, he always maintained a humble attitude, saying, after the Hall of Fame induction: "All I have to say is that most of my life has been a pleasant surprise, and so is this! Thank you!"

Kudos, Frank!!!! What a guy !!!!! And may all our lives be full of pleasant surprises!!!!

21:30 On a thin night for TV, Lois and I can nonetheless relax at last, going to bed on the final episode in Diane Morgan's ground-breaking new BBC TV sitcom series, "Ann Droid". The series is all about a robot-helper, Linda, who assists "old codger" Sue (!) in coping with life after widowhood, rescuing her from the so-called "support" of Sue's useless grown-up son Michael.

Poor Sue !!!!!

In the final episode from this new series, useless grown-up son Michael has moved back home to allegedly "help" his recently widowed mum Sue, but making a bad start by deciding to send Linda, his mum's "rent-a-robot" assistant, back to the robot-rental-company, in order to save money on the monthly payments - bad idea!!!!

The company van calls on Sue to collect robot Linda, stashing her in a van with a bunch of other obsolescent "old model" robots. In the van Linda makes friends with an obsolescent-model "romance robot" or "ro-robot". And it's this ro-robot who reveals to Linda where the van is taking them, and what their ultimate fate will be, which isn't good!!!

Linda shows her some photos of her rides on a roller-coaster with Sue and Michael. Ro-robot is envious - she's never been on a roller-coaster, but Linda tries to cheer ro-robot up, telling her that her next owner could take her for a ride on one, but that's out of the question, apparently, because used ro-robots are for some reason treated as "damaged goods" (!) - what madness!

Yikes!

Luckily, however, Linda and her new ro-robot friend, both manage somehow to escape from the van. The two make their way home to Sue's house, where "romance robot" wastes no time in making up to useless grown-up son Michael, quickly winning him over, which is mad!