Thursday August 20th 2026 "Been on 'the cruise' of a lifetime lately? And if yes, did anything go wrong?"

Yes, Friends, have YOU been on the cruise of a lifetime recently. Maybe you've been on more than one! They're certainly any "big cruise" is "big news" at the moment, what with it being August and peak holiday time - in my neck of the woods, anyway, dominating the headlines in today's Onion News, which is solid proof, if any proof were needed!!!!

At least, however, this morning's shock headlines are bringing the briefest hint of a smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, here in leafy Liphook, Hampshire, which is a nice surprise!

my wife Lois and me - a recently discovered archive picture

And our somewhat unusual smiles today are occasioned today by the fortnightly, and always rowdy (!),  online meeting of the local U3A "Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers" group, which we lead "for our sins" (!!!). 

us trying to control another rowdy online meeting of the local U3A

online "Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers" group,

which we lead "for our sins" (!!!!!!)

During our online meeting today, Lois and I learn that one of our members, Jeanette, the only one of our number who is genuinely Danish, is going to be missing one of our September meetings because she'll be on a Saga cruise steaming up the Norwegian coast trapped in a boatload of other "old codgers", which sounds horrendous!!!!

(left) Jeanette, our group's only genuine Danish member, pictured on holiday

in Australia, and (right) publicity material for a typical "old codger" Saga cruise

And after the meeting is over, and Lois and I are clearing away our tea-cups (!), Jeanette's news brings a lively debate between us on whether we ourselves are now old enough to take a Saga cruise, maybe up a river somewhere, to avoid poor Lois's unfortunately legendary tendency to get sea-sick (!). Your views welcome!!!!

As you remember, mine and Lois's interest in the Intermediate Danish language stems from the 7 years (2012 to 2018) when our daughter Alison, plus husband Edward and their 3 kids Josie, Rosalind and Isaac were living in Copenhagen, during which time Lois and I visited the family multiple times.

flashback to June 2017, during one of mine and Lois's

many visits to see our daughter Alison and family in Copenhagen 

In that picture, our grandson Isaac was just 6 years old, but today that "little lad" is a young man of 16, and, as today dawns, he's been waiting anxiously for news of his GCSE results, like thousands of other youngsters nationwide, and I'm happy to report he got some excellent results (one '9', one '8' and five '7's - whatever that means but sounds good!), bless him! And when the new school year begins, next month, he'll be well on course to take his chosen A-Level subjects of Mandarin Chinese, Politics and Ancient Civilisations, no less, with visits to China galore, we suspect !!!!

(centre right) our grandson Isaac (ringed), now 16, at his mum Alison's 51st

birthday celebrations last week, and (below) Isaac, rightmost, with 

classmates, opening their GCSE results outside their local school, here in Liphook

Kudos, Isaac! All that hard work has definitely paid off, which is nice! You're on your way!!!!

So, all in all, a celebratory day for our family, and Lois and I, "Liphook's busiest-looking retired couple", as neighbours have dubbed us (!), are in celebratory mood as we take our morning walk over the "hallowed, but parched" turf of local soccer heroes Liphook United today. 

Having got seriously out of condition during the past month, due to the repeated heatwaves, Lois and I are "treading carefully" (no pun intended!!!) by taking a few preliminary straightforward 4000-step walks, with the object of gradually getting back a rudimentary level of fitness, so fingers crossed !!!!!

Lois and me this morning, making one of our few public appearances this week,

(left) inspecting the local "Old Codgers Bowling Club" and (right) 

the "hallowed but parched" turf of local soccer heroes Liphook United

The team's legendary Recreation Ground and its adjoining "old codgers" bowling green, both have a quiet, rather neglected, air this morning, with all the excitement generated by the team's "near-promising" start to the season, having calmed down to an extent which is nice! 

"The lads", as these local soccer heroes are known, now being occasionally semi-actively managed by former club legends Steve Harding and Ash Sharp, are currently said to be "languishing" at a comfortable 7th place in the prestigious Hampshire Premier League (Seniors) table, which is encouraging, to put it mildly!

A promising start to the season, with Liphook United "languishing" in the coveted no.7 spot, under

the management of club legends Steve Harding (above, right) and Ash Sharp [not shown]

Go Liphook! Go United !!!!! Ra, ra, ra haha!!!

"The lads" are also known as "the tigers of the Hampshire Premier League Senior Division", but truth be told they're not actual tigers - it's just a metaphor, so no need to get worried haha!!!!

(left) "the lads" of Liphook United, dubbed "the tigers of the Hampshire

Premier League Senior Division, and (right) some actual tigers

Yes, "tigers" here is just a metaphor, and, as luck would have it, Lois and I get a bit of a lecture on metaphors today from poet Jack Underwood, when we tune into BBC Radio 4, which is a bit of a coincidence, to put it mildly!

Underwood says that if you find yourself in need of a metaphor - maybe you're writing a speech or finishing off your latest blog-post (!) - he is willing to become a "metaphor consultant"|, and he will think of a fresh new metaphor for you, for a small fee, which sounds like good news!

One of our common metaphors is to talk of the future as being "ahead of us". And "going forward" is the annoying modern phrase for "in the future". By contrast, we refer to the past as being "behind us", which is kind of neat, expressing our idea of life as some kind of a journey.

However, Lois and I didn't know that this particular set of metaphors isn't universal. There are apparently some peoples in the world that express it the opposite way. The Aymara people of South America, for example, think of the past as being in front of them, because they've lived it and can "see it", whereas the future is being them, because they haven't lived it and so can't "see it". 

the Aymara people of South America, marching boldly, 

with all their past history "in front of them" (!)

Metaphors aren't just a poetic way of describing things, we hear this afternoon. They can also influence how we feel about things. Reading articles headlined "The Battle Against Climate Change" or "The War Against Climate apparently give us a greater sense of urgency than, say, "The Race Against Climate Change". 

"the race against climate change" vs. "the war against climate change"

- which one is the more serious crisis haha!!!!

In the early days of what we now call "artificial intelligence", the software was named various things before "AI" was settled on, as being the ideal way of suggesting that something similar to human ways of thinking was involved in it, and so be somehow more acceptable. And the more recent introduction of AI results beginning "I think...", "I believe..." etc makes these bits of software seem even more human than before. These little tentative, thoughtful interjections weren't there at the beginning of AI, we hear today, but introduced at a later point.

a typical AI "bot" preparing his response by automatically trawling the internet

Metaphors aren't neutral, either, and they can be 'weaponised'. It's possible to use metaphors in an insidious way, referencing unpleasant animals or even diseases maybe, to speak of developments that the speaker personally doesn't like - for example, if the arrival of migrants is insidiously made to seem like the introduction of parasites that are going to eat us so-called 'natives' alive, and from the inside, which is total madness!!!! 

Oh dear!!!! Something else to watch out for, and beware of - yikes !!!!

But fascinating stuff, isn't it !!!!

[If you say so! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!