Danskcolin: Tuesday August 4th 2026 "Have YOU ever made YOUR 'squeeze' 'pop'? Most of us have, haven't we!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU ever made your squeeze "pop", perhaps inadvertently, or in a perhaps isolated moment of madness????

Most of us have, haven't we - even including popular new singer Justin Timberlake, if we're to believe the words of his new smash, "Strawberry Bubblegum" !!!!

And my wife Lois and I are merrily singing Justin's new chart-topper this morning, as we snatch a quick morning-walk here in semi-precious Liphook, Hampshire, that's for sure. However, it's blackberries, not strawberries or blueberries, that are most on our minds, as Lois reprises her 'hunter-gatherer' image on some of the local bushes adorning the 'hallowed turf' of local soccer heroes Liphook United, no question about that!!!!

my wife Lois and me this morning, taking a hurried morning walk

around the 'hallowed turf' of local soccer heroes, Liphook United

while somehow finding the time to pick blackberries, would you believe!

Certainly, however, as you can see from the our morning's "picture gallery" (see above!), especially the bottom right "doozy", that there's precious little 'turf' ("hallowed" or otherwise!!!!) to be seen at the moment, thanks to the current drought - let's hope we get some rain before the football season starts in September!

However, the part of the field that Yours Truly has dubbed "the landing-strip for alien spacecraft" (!) (above, bottom right, again) certainly looks in tip-top condition - those little guys are doing their maintenance work with precision, no doubt about that!

It's actually a little bit cooler today than it was yesterday, when Lois and I hardly dared step out of the house for the searing heat (!). Today there's a high of "only" 86F (30C) which is a welcome relief!

There's still no proper rain, however, and today Lois and I are delighted to take delivery from B&Q of the shiny new plastic bucket and shiny new watering-can that we ordered yesterday on the internet, in an effort to boost our campaign to use waste-water on our plants and vegetables! We're expecting to thereby earn even more respect from our neighbours, who've already dubbed us "possibly Liphook's 'greenest' retired couple", which is a nice (but richly deserved(!)) tribute!!!

Dubbed by neighbours "possibly Liphook's greenest retired couple" (!), (top left)

our array of plastic buckets and watering-cans in our garage, and (top right)

in our bathroom, and (below) in our kitchen - it's green madness haha!!!!!

Here are some 'fun facts' about the current water shortage, which you can 'cut and paste', if you like, and print out, frame, put on your wall etc, as a reminder - I'm not going to be so selfish as to object !!!!

[That's enough 'water facts' ! - Ed]

Neighbours have also dubbed Lois and me "possibly Liphook's busiest retired couple", however, and today is a case in point, and "in spades" (!), because we have to hurry home after our walk this morning. It's just so that Lois can somehow find time this morning to also take part in her church's online "monthly sisters group discussion meeting" for female-church members. What madness, isn't it !!!!

Busy busy busy!!!!

For Yours Truly, however, this month's sisters' class is a rare chance for me to 'put my feet up for five minutes' (!), have an iced coffee, and browse our latest book on the history of male-female inequality through the ages: Karen Gurney's "Mind the Gap", delivered today by Amazon, amidst all that "buckets and watering-cans" 'malarkey'!

A word to the wise, however. Don't buy the book for your proverbial "great-uncle Albert in Littlehampton", who's crazy about steam engines, believingm from its title, "Mind the Gap", that it's all about trains and such-like, because the book's got certain passages which will make dear "Great Uncle Albert"'s eyes pop out of his head - that's for sure!!!!

Karen Gurney's "Mind the Gap": don't buy for your proverbial 'Great Uncle Albert'

in Littlehampton, thinking that it's all about trains - it isn't, with a capital 'I' !!!!

Lois has already browsed the book - and, as a former librarian she is trained to flip through any book's pages and produce a 'first stab' at a summary after less than five minutes, which is incredibly useful when we're working our way through any local bookshop, to put it mildly!

According to the book, the first "Golden Age for Women's Sexuality" in the UK was in the 18th century and the late 17th century, Lois notes, helped by the Reformation. Protestantism cleared away the Catholic Church's instinctive reverence for virginity, under which the Church, amongst other things, had claimed that the Virgin Mary remained a virgin throughout her life.

However, sadly "the shutters came down again" on women in the 19th century, as a result of the new Protestant prudery, which was ironic!

"The Coronation of the Virgin" by Neri di Bicci (c.1470)

It was once thought, Lois notes, that women couldn't get pregnant unless they had had an orgasm, and at least one Empress of Austria, who had initially appeared to be sterile, was coached in achieving orgasm, before going on to produce, like, a billion babies - more probably!

What a weird world they lived in, back in those crazy, far-off times!!!

Thankfully, those days are over, and, ironically, tonight Lois and I, while binge-watching episodes of the recent Canadian series "Schitt's Creek", discover that relationships between men and women are much much better, and more respectful today, even in the workplace, which is nice!

In the following scene, washed-up former billionaire Johnny Rose, reduced to part-managing a seedy motel, after losing his fortune thanks to a crooked business associate, is giving a lecture on "Intimacy in the Workplace" to motel receptionist Stevie, and the motel's odd-jobs-man Roland.

It's slightly old-fashioned, as Johnny admits - it's one Johnny made himself, with his wife, washed-up former daytime-soap star Moira of "Sunset Bay" fame, back in the days when "Rose Videos" was one of his former "portfolio of companies" (!).

It is a tad old-fashioned, however, but it sends a strong message, that's for sure - here's the "How Not To Do It", session, in which Moira, as video shop assistant, is trying to find a video for a customer, when fellow-assistant Emilio tries to "help her locate it" on the shop's bulging shelves, but with a not-so-helpful "hand" on her buttocks (!).