Monday, 27 September 2021

Monday September 27th 2021

Lois spends the day toiling in the garden, doing tidy-up jobs for the approaching end of the growing season, while I toil indoors working on my so-called "presentation" to our little U3A group, all about how the Vikings changed our language. 

When the Vikings started raiding our island by bullying some "softy" monks on Holy Island in 793 AD, there's little doubt that they thought our Anglo-Saxon language at the time "lacked punch", and was a bit "namby-pamby" and/or "hoity-toity", and they decided to "beef it up a bit", They wanted to make it more of a "real man's language".


In short, the Vikings wanted to show us what some really NASTY words sounded like, and Anglo-Saxon children in the new Viking schools lapped it up of course, as children everywhere would - my god!

a typical Viking schoolteacher gives a small group of
Anglo-Saxon children some really horrid words to start using - yikes!

Lois has promised she'll give me a session on the couch this afternoon, and hold my so-called "slides", while I spout out my stuff. I've no real idea really how long it will take to finish because I haven't fully written it out: I've mainly just got bullet points. Lynda, the group leader has allocated me 40-45 minutes, so I spent the weekend padding it out with questionable material to try and fill the allotted time, hopefully.

I'm trying to make a collection of these really horrid words, and Steve, my American brother-in-law, comes to my rescue with quite another awful one: dirt, yes common-or-garden dirt - the word has a horrid history.

Yuck - that's a nasty one all right - my god! 

I'll add that to some of my existing list of nasty words we got from the Norsemen, a list which includes "scab", "scumbag", "tosser", and "arse".

14:00 Lois and I forgo our usual post-lunch nap and get down to our rehearsal on the couch. And guess what - I've been afraid I wouldn't be able to fill Lynda's 40-45 minute time-slot, and actually I find this afternoon that I've prepared far too much. After 70 minutes I still haven't got to the end, and Lois is getting restive. 

But in a way I'm pleased - I can spend tomorrow cutting out some of the dross, which is nice!

Tomorrow is going to start very early in any case - I got a text from so-called "Team-Know-How": to say they're coming tomorrow morning to fix the handle on our freezer: the one that Lois broke off in an amazing "show of strength". 

flashback to September 21st: I showcase the broken
freezer handle after Lois snaps it off in a "show of strength"

We're happy that Team-Know-How are coming tomorrow to fix the handle, but not so happy about the time-slot they've allocated to us: it could be "any time between 0700 and 1035", they say in their text. Oh dear!

And we're reserving judgment on the team's name "Team Know How" - we'll be the judge of that haha!

16:00 We have a cup of tea and some of Lois's delicious chocolate cake on the couch. 

Flashback to yesterday: Lois's chocolate cake comes out of the oven.
It's a bit half-iced, but it tastes delicious - yum yum!

We look out of the window - the sun has come round the side of the house and is just hitting the rogue fuchsia that has been growing up inside the hedge we share with our neighbour Bob. The delicate little red flowers are really catching the sun. It looks really happy now that we've cut back the hedge a bit and supported it with a long stick.


our "rogue fuchsia" is looking really happy today
in the sunshine, which is nice!

19:30 Lois disappears into the dining-room to take part in her sect's weekly Bible Seminar on zoom. I settle down and watch the rest of Episode 4 of the 2nd series of "The Killing", the Danish crime series that Lois doesn't like.


Watching this series is turning into a really disjointed exercise for me. I think I watched the first 20 minutes of this episode sometime last week, and I'm determined to watch the remaining 40 minutes of it tonight, and to try desperately to keep on top of the plot.

A Danish army unit in Afghanistan got involved in a case of alleged civilian casualties in some remote village, but they were all cleared of guilt by the Army investigation. However, now that they're all back in Denmark, members of the unit are being murdered one by one. 

First, suspicion fell on Islamic extremist groups in Denmark, but now the theory has surfaced that an unnamed Danish army officer "went crazy" out there in Afghanistan at the time of the alleged incident, but that this is all being covered up. 







Is the crazy officer now murdering all his former men? I think we should be told! But we won't be - at least not for ages yet: there are still another 6 episodes to go. Damn !!!!!

21:00 Lois emerges from her zoom session and we watch one of our favourite TV quizzes, Only Connect, which tests lateral thinking.



It's nice to see presenter Victoria Coren-Mitchell back with her usual hair. Did she wear the redhead look last week for a bet or a dare, perhaps? I think we should be told, but just like last week, the hair isn't mentioned - damn!

flashback to last week: Victoria's mysterious "redhead" look

One of the easier questions tonight is to find the link between these 4 'things', which are guessed correctly to be all grounds for divorce in England, Wales and Northern Ireland - Scotland must be different, but this wasn't explained.


But who knew that in those 3 jurisdictions at least, adultery has to be with a member of the opposite sex? Even in the case of single-sex marriages eg. 2 men married to each other - it doesn't count as adultery unless one of the two men goes to bed, specifically, with a woman. 

What madness!!! Wake up Parliament - there's something not joined-up here haha!!!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!


Sunday, 26 September 2021

Sunday September 26th 2021

An unsatisfactory day for me, although Lois manages to take part in her sect's 2 worship services on zoom, and also make a chocolate cake, of which she's iced half so far. We eat 2 pieces each with our 4 pm session of Earl Grey tea on the couch. 

a lovely chocolate cake, a bit half-iced but
just as delicious as always haha!


we try it out on the couch - it passes the test!

So a good day for Lois, but what have I myself managed to achieve? Not much. I can only say that I've done the exercises that Connor, my NHS physiotherapist has scheduled for me today, which is a small achievement. 

But apart from that I've only managed to write about 2 more paragraphs of my so-called "presentation", a talk I've agreed to give on zoom to members of Lynda's U3A Middle English group, all about the influence of the Scandinavian languages on the history of English. Oh dear! And there are only 5 more days till I have to give it - yikes!

At the moment I'm trying to figure out what might have happened to the English language after about 450 AD when the Angles, Saxons and Jutes migrated to Britain, after which time they became separated from their previous neighbours in Holland, north Germany and Denmark. There was a bit of trading that went on, but not much apparently - just high-end stuff.


How much did the English language change after these guys arrived in England? It's hard to be sure, because they didn't write anything down for 200 years or so - the lazy buggers! I know they were mostly illiterate, but that's no excuse! They continued to carve a few rune stones, and so did their old neighbours in Scandinavia, but that doesn't really amount to much in the way of evidence.

flashback to 2013: I showcase a typical medieval rune stone
at the Viking fortress at Trelleborg, Denmark.

After, say, 200 years of separation, would the Anglo-Saxons in England still have been able to understand their old neighbours on the Continent, for example? Almost certainly they would, but we haven't really got any parallels in the modern world because of the increased level of communications we have now, compared to 1500 years ago. 

The USA split off from Britain in 1776 but we've stayed in contact ever since, so it's not really the same. There are pronunciation differences: British speech has generally changed more that American speech - and the US East Coast accents which in the 19th century stayed more in synch with changes in British accents because of the maritime trading links, are not really the standard accents over there. 

There have been numerous innovations in vocabulary in the US and a few in the UK, but generally, in Britain, we've tended to copy the American expressions more often than not.



Are there any grammatical differences? The only ones I can think of off the top of my head are that we can say "Either will do", but they have to say "Either one will do". And there are some past tense differences: we say "spit, spat, spat" (verb, past tense, past participle) and they say "spit, spit, spit" for example. I think that we tend to say "the committee think..." whereas they would say, "the committee thinks". Not much, though, is it! Are there any more? I don't know, but I think we should be told!

One of Lois's male friends, who's now moved to a different part of the country, had a girl-friend from the small  volcanic island of Tristan da Cunha, a remote British territory in the South Atlantic, first settled a couple of hundred years ago by just a small number of British families - and there are still only a very limited number of family names there, descended from the original pioneer settlers. 

When the volcano erupted in 1961, the population was evacuated to Britain, although most returned home 2 years later.

The island hit the headlines again recently (May 2001) when the UK Government pointlessly added the place to its official "green list" of holiday destinations. Nobody goes on holiday there, that's for sure. It's too remote, and transport links are too difficult. As soon as you get there it's time to come back!


For a couple of hundred years, the islanders had little contact with Britain, and I remember that when the islanders arrived in the UK in 1961 after the volcano erupted, there was enormous press interest in them and their quaint way of speaking.

As I remember, they don't put 's' on the end of any verbs, for example, so they would equally say "I go" and "he go". Nouns starting with a vowel have an unhistoric 'h' slapped on the front, so that the words 'highland' and 'island' sound exactly the same. Also many 'z' sounds tend to be normally pronounced as a 's'. So "season" is pronounced like "sea sun". What madness !!!!!

All very interesting perhaps, but I'm not sure that it brings me any further forward with my presentation - damn !!!!

Personally I don't think the English language changed very much for a few hundred years or so after the Anglo-Saxons arrived in the country.

When Ottar (sometimes called Ohthere), the distinguished Norwegian sailor, visited the court of King Alfred the Great in London in about 890 AD, he was able to give a speech to the king's court talking about his travels to Russia etc. And he seems to have delivered his speech in Old Norse, which the English court could still understand without the need for an interpreter, which was nice.




Ottar, the Norwegian sailor, and his travels, which eventually 
brought him to London for an audience with King Alfred the Great

Ottar confused his English audience once or twice during his speech, with one or two classic errors. He used the word 'kirtle' which by this time meant a woman's dress in English. In Old Norse it still meant a man's jacket. 

Oops!!! I bet there were a few red faces and some stifled guffaws round the table at that one!

the boat Ottar took to the White Sea 
(artist's impression, not an actual photo)

20:30 A phone call with Alison, our elder daughter, who lives in Headley, Hampshire, with Ed and their 3 children Josie (15), Rosalind (13) and Isaac (11). 

Ali works as a teaching assistant at a local primary school, and she's been enjoying the fact that her working day has been finishing at 1pm and she has the rest of the day to herself. This wasn't going to last however, and the school have asked her if she will work on till the first part of the afternoon, and this new schedule started on Wednesday this last week.

Our younger daughter Sarah has been living in Perth, Australia, for about 6 years, but she and Francis have been thinking of moving back to the UK with their 8-year-old twins Lily and Jessie.

our 8-year-old twin granddaughters, Jessie (left) and Lily, pictured here 
with their tropical-style drinks, by the swimming pool 
in the garden of their house in Perth, Australia

Sarah is worried that if they do move back, that the twins will be behind their peers when they start attending school here. She's afraid that the Australian liking for "learning through play" has set the twins back educationally - oh dear! So we ask Ali if she can find some typical teaching materials that children in the 8 to 9 age group use over here at the moment, so that we can send them to Sarah for comparison purposes. 

one of the possible routes the family could take if they decide
to move back to the UK

And Ali thinks that in any case that the learning through play approach has taken root here too - oh dear!! Lois and I think that if the twins are bright enough - which they are in our humble opinion - that they will cope with any changes. They love to read books, which is half the battle, isn't it. Let's hope so anyway!!!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz!!!!!


Saturday, 25 September 2021

Saturday September 25th 2021

 07:00 It's 7am (obviously) and I am on my knees in our bed trying to get a glimpse of Mr So-called Tall Guy (TG) as he arrives for his Saturday morning hour-long mini-gym session with our neighbour. Lois and I are inclined to think that there are still only 2 customers, Tall Guy (TG) and Pleasantly Plump Woman (PPW). 

There has been some discussion between Lois and me about the possible existence of a Third Man (codenamed TM), especially as TG has recently let his hair grow back a bit and has dyed it blond. We still think he's one and the same guy, however. Well, time will tell!

It's 7am and TG arrives for his mini-gym session

It's now 8am and the session is over. Our neighbour (right) sees him out

Throughout this morning's surveillance, Lois and I have kept strictly to the guidelines laid down by film-star Michael Caine, spiritual leader of Britain's thousands of "nosy neighbours".


Film-star Michael Caine shows us how neighbourly
surveillance should ideally be done.

09:30 We speak on zoom with Sarah, our daughter in Perth, Australia, and with her 8-year-old twin daughters Lily and Jessie. Sarah's husband Francis is down at the Nedlands Yacht Club boatyard this afternoon (Perth time is 4:30pm), fitting the motor onto the 20 foot boat the family recently bought.

Sarah is feeling really tired, so she speaks to us from her bed - she had her 2nd Pfizer coronavirus vaccination on Thursday, and so we think it's probably the usual side-effect. The twins, on the other hand, are bouncing around as usual - how cute they are !!!!!

Luckily it's a 3-day weekend over there. Monday is a holiday for the Queen's birthday, which is nice.


The family have recently moved to a house in Perth's northern suburb of Tapping, but the girls have still been attending the Catholic private school near their old house in Lower Chittering, a few miles north of Perth. That has come to an end this week with the end of the school term, and after 2 weeks' holiday, the girls will be starting the new term at the local Tapping state school. On Friday the twins came home with a farewell card signed by all their class-mates, which is nice!

Sarah has been buying their new school uniforms, and hopes to sell their old uniforms second-hand to potential buyers in Lower Chittering - let's hope that comes off, because school uniforms don't come cheap, that's for sure. Oh dear!!!!

the Tapping Primary School uniforms

10:30 The call ends, and Lois and I go out for a walk on the local football field. It's nice to see the Junior Soccer Programme in action, and the tennis courts are full of old codgers too, which is also nice. We have a coffee and a raspberry crunch at the Whiskers Coffee Stand.

we notice that the Parish Council has been busy trimming
the many hedges around the field - nice job!

the tennis courts are full of old codgers

we stop for a coffee and a raspberry crunch


junior soccer is in full swing

12:00 We come home and have lunch on the patio, but our attention is strangely grabbed by the rogue fuchsia that's grown up inside the hedge we share with our neighbour Bob. 




After lunch we go to bed. It's been a bit of an up-and-down week, with the rigours of Lois's Tuesday dental appointment followed by the last minute cancellation of her follow-up Friday appointment. We feel we need to recharge our batteries. 

It's ironic that the surgery has recently introduced charges for patients who cancel appointments at less than 72 hours' notice, but now this week they do the same thing themselves.

Should we send them a bill ? Answers on a postcard please!!!

16:00 We roll out of bed and have a cup of tea and a snail-bun on the couch. Yum yum!

I see an email from my sister Gill in Cambridge. She and her husband Peter and their daughter Lucy have had a wretched day.  Lucy recently suffered a fall, and has spent a couple of days back home with Gill and Peter. 

Lucy, photographed recently with Gill

Poor Lucy then needed help in filling her car up with petrol to go back to her flat in Ipswich, so Gill and Peter went out with her, but they found that all the petrol stations in Cambridge were out of petrol. There was no option but for Gill and Peter to drive Lucy back to Ipswich themselves, and then drive back to Cambridge.

What madness! How stupid people are! A totally artificial shortage, created by stupid panic-buying! I don't know, what madness!!!! [That's enough madness! - Ed]

20:00 Lois and I settle down on the couch to watch one of the programmes I love to hate - Grand Designs.


Chrissie, who has lived with husband in Malaysia for 20 years, has returned to the UK after the death of her husband out there. She wants to live next door to her sister Mary in the flat East Anglian fenlands, and so her architect nephew Carlos designs her a house, which Mary's Mexican husband, Fernando has agreed to build.

There are of course lots of problems during the construction, but as is traditional with the Grand Designs series, presenter Kevin McCloud always arrives in the final reel to find that the problems were all fixed and the house has been built. Then, as usual, Kevin proceeds to drool all over it, despite the fact that all these enormous fashionable houses seem absolutely horrible in mine and Lois's eyes. What madness !!!!! [I've warned you about this once already today!]


Kevin arrives at the finished house, to be greeted by
Gretta at the house's horribly tall front door - 
it must be at least 10 feet high wouldn't you say? How crazy!!!!

The inside is even worse, needless to say. Enormous rooms with uncomfortable furniture dotted about. Far too lavish for a widow on her own. What can she possibly want with all that space !!!!




Lois and I would much rather have Gretta's sister's house right next door - a proper cosy traditional house. What's wrong with that then?

Gretta's sister lives in this much nicer, 
more traditional house (right) just next door

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!