Sunday 11 February 2018 – Monday 12 February 2018

09:45 I swing by our neighbors (Stephen and Francis) to give them a page of instructions. They have agreed to look after our house and Minx (Alison's Cat) while we pay a 2-day visit to Oxford.

10:30 Lois and I drive over to Great Haseley, a small village 11 miles southeast of the city of Oxford, to meet with my only surviving sister, Gill, 59, who lives in Cambridge, and with Gill's disabled daughter Lucy (30). We have lunch at a charming old pub, The Plough, located in the middle of the village.

We have lunch with Gill, my 59 year old younger sister,

and with her youngest daughter, Lucy

Flashback to August 1960: me (at 14 years of age) with Gill on the beach

An enjoyable lunch where we exchange news about our respective families. Lucy is busy with the last stages of her training to be a lawyer: a 2-year course for which she has finished the first six months.

Lucy is a very sweet young woman, but she suffers from a rare form of muscular dystrophy, which she inherited from her father, Peter, a part-time priest. Unfortunately, Gill and Peter were advised that it was safe to have children.

Lucy can walk for a short while without a walking stick or wheelchair, but she tends to get tired quickly. She needs help from Gill when lunch is over and she has to get up from her chair in the pub. At this point, I get a little embarrassed because during the lunch I had repeatedly put my foot in it about the pains of old age, stiff joints, etc. Damn - how stupid I am! I think I specifically mentioned that Lois and I have a bit more trouble than before with getting up out of our armchairs when it's time for bed. Oh earth, swallow me up !!!!!

14:15 We say goodbye to Gill and Lucy, who plan to visit nearby Cuddesdon and Ripon College, a theological college: Gill met Peter, her future husband, for the first time in approx. 1983, when Peter was a college student and Gill (25) worked as college archivist. Peter must have charmed her, no doubt about that, because she quickly dropped Chris, her boyfriend of several years. Gill and Peter got married two years later.

Ripon College, Cuddesdon

Peter initially trained as an Anglican priest, but later converted to Catholicism as a protest against the introduction of female priests in the Anglican Church. He is only 59 years old, so I suppose there is still time to become pope.

Even Pope Francis had to start in difficult circumstances (report, March 6, 2015, source Onion News). 

"Back in the 70's, I was just a preacher who drove my van from village to village across Argentina to deliver the sermon for audiences of 10 or 15 people," Francis told journalists, and he noted that in those days, as a newly ordained member of the priesthood, he was typically one of the last priests to go up and perform worship services every evening. "I would get there and the place would be a real shit-hole: no stained glass, just a single cross on the wall, and nothing but a few rickety old pews. Most of them did not even have a proper altar to stand on."

"The idea of consecrating the eucharist at a top cathedral was just a pipe dream then," he added. "I was lucky if I could get a single person to do the sign of the cross at the end of my blessings."

So Peter has the possibility of being appointed pope, but the chances are against him, I think. It has been a long time since the church last appointed an English pope, I think. Why this loony [sic] backlash against English people, I wonder?

14:30 Lois and I drive over to Iffley, a small suburb of Oxford, and check in at our hotel. We go to bed for a couple of hours - we need it, no doubt about that!

17:00 We tumble out of bed and head over to Risinghurst, another suburb of Oxford, to spend the evening with Sharon, Lois' niece and her family. Ian, Lois' nephew, also swings by with his family.

Sharon and (especially) Ian and their respective partners are a kind of baby factory. Ian and Tasha, his partner, have 7 children and 2 grandchildren. Sharon and Michael, her partner, have 4 children. All the younger children and grandchildren join in tonight's meal, but most of the older children have part-time jobs on weekends, so unfortunately we do not see them tonight.

Sharon and Ian's (and their partners') "baby factory": Sharon and Ian

are numbers 4 and 3, respectively, from the left

A fun evening, with a lot of chitchat. Lois and I find it a little disturbing to be reminded that we are great aunt and great uncle to 11 kids, and what is worse than that, great-great-aunt and great-great-uncle to 2 more kids.

But it's very refreshing for Lois and me to be in the company of children and young people. For the most part we usually talk only with other old crows. We do our best not to seem too old-fashioned this evening and try to talk about social media, etc., and mention characters in a few soap operas, to sound a little less antique than we really are. But I do not know if we get away with our big act - probably not, I suspect, but the jury is still out on that one ha ha.

21:00 We say goodbye to Sharon and Ian and their big families. We drive over to our hotel in Iffley. On the way, I do something even dumber than all the stupid things I've done today. We have to drive via Oxford's ring road, where traffic is heavy with all the bright headlights of cars coming the other way, which nowadays I find quite difficult - I rarely drive a car in the evening. But I drive very carefully and find the right exit without any hassle.

Then I totally relax for the rest of the way - big mistake! I'm caught by a speed camera: I suddenly realize that two photos have been taken of our car. I look down on the speedometer and I see I'm driving at 40 miles per hour in a built-up area, whereas the speed limit is only 30.

This is the first time in my life that I have been caught this way. I'm usually very careful to comply with speed limits. I think the blunder resulted from my extreme fatigue, my problems with driving in the dark, and my relief at coping with the ring road without any hassle. Damn!

21:30 We relax in our hotel room and watch some TV before we hop into bed. What a day!!!

08:00 Next morning we go in the shower and swing by the hotel's breakfast room, which is packed with Chinese tourists or students.

10:30 We check out of the hotel and head over to Kennington to have lunch with Jen, and with Bill, Jen's husband. Unfortunately, I leave the charger for my smartphone in our hotel room. Damn! I'm not having a very successful trip, no doubt about that.

Jen has been Lois's friend since childhood. We discover that the local schools currently have a week's holiday, and Jen and Bill are today looking after three of their grandchildren, Lynette, Ben and Ivo, which is nice for Lois and me: more company with young people and we can repeat our big act from last night, where we try to seem less old-fashioned than we really are. We try to use the expressions "like" and "I'm like" and sprinkle them randomly in the conversation, but I have the feeling that we are not completely convincing - damn!

But young people are a good source for finding out about modern slang words, etc. 

Lois and I were a little worried last night when we heard that Lois's 7 week old great great niece is called Luna. In our childhood, children were teased or bullied in schools if they had unusual first names, and we were also concerned about whether Luna would get the nickname "Loony", a slang expression for "insane".

But nowadays there are actually so many unusual first names that it is the "usual" first names that are unusual. In addition, the slang word "loony" has completely gone out of use apparently, which is reassuring.

I throw a relaxed reference to Keshas "Tik Tok" into the conversation, the only pop song Lois and I know since 2000, but I'm afraid it does not impress them - it's already too old-fashioned, it seems.

13:30 After lunch, Bill, I and the children relax in the living room, while Lois helps Jen clear the table and potter around in the kitchen clearing up and washing up, etc.

Lois and Jen are very very old friends, so of course they get on very well with each other. They like talking about the old days, when Lois is helping Jen out in the kitchen.

This kind of situation is a bit of a bad news for me because it means I have to sit in the living room and talk to Bill. I find Bill quite a challenge to talk to - he does not have a sense of humour and, in my opinion, he has a rather boring personality, unlike Jen, who is so lively - damn! Also, Jen is a little afraid that Bill is beginning to show signs of mild dementia, and I agree with her about that - oh dear!

The worst thing is that Bill tends to suddenly ask me religious questions out of the blue, or tell me about some religious book he is reading. He is currently reading a book about the country of Israel and he starts to tell me that Israel is the perfect country, with an ideal climate, but I think Bill only has a low level of geographical knowledge and seems to be ignorant of for example, what the equator is (probably because of his mild dementia, but I'm not entirely sure). I try to change the topic as soon as I think it's acceptable to.

Later, he asks me if I have ever thought of (or read about) the Holy Spirit. Fortunately, at this point, the three children start to make so much noise with their card games on the carpet that conversation becomes impossible so I do not have to answer Bill's questions, thank goodness for that!

14:30 Lois and I drive home to Cheltenham and go to bed for a few hours.

18:00 We have a CookShop ready-meal for supper and watch some television: a documentary about the Majans.

An interesting film: archaeologists have recently discovered that the cities of the Maja were much much larger than we thought in the past, thanks to the revelations of some new technology. They can now identify the city's buildings by flying helicopters over them and transmitting some sort of laser beams resembling x-rays, through the dense jungles surrounding the known remains.

My god, what a crazy world we live in !!!!

But Lois and I are very tired. We snuggle up on the couch and doze a little now and then. After all, we're just a couple of old crows, no matter how much we try not to look old-fashioned. We are feeling our age.

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz !!!!!

Danish translation

09:45 Jeg smutter ind hos vores naboer  (Stephen og Francis) for at give dem en side instruktioner. De har aftalt at passe på vores hus og Minx (Alisons kat) mens vi aflægger et 2-dages besøg til Oxford.

10:30 Lois og jeg kører over til Great Haseley, en lille landsby 11 miles sydøst for byen Oxford, for at mødes med min eneste overlevende søster, Gill (59), der bor i Cambridge, og med Gills handicappede datter, Lucy (30). Vi spiser frokost på en charmerende gammel pub, The Plough, der ligger midt i landsbyen.

vi spiser frokost med Gill, min 59-årige lillesøster,

og med hendes yngste datter, Lucy

Tilbageblik til august 1960: mig (på 14 år) med Gill på stranden

En fornøjelig frokost, hvor vi bytter nyheder om vores henholdsvise familier. Lucy er i gang med de sidste stadier af sin uddannelse til advokat: et 2-års forløb, hvoraf hun har forendet det første halvår.

Lucy er en meget sød ung kvinde, men hun lider af en sjælden form for muskelsvind, som hun arvede fra sin far, Peter, en deltidspræst. Desværre blev Gill og Peter rådet, at det var sikkert at få børn.

Lucy kan i korte tidsrum gå uden spadserestok eller kørestol, men hun har tendens til at blive hurtigt træt. Hun har brug for hjælp fra Gill, da frokosten er forbi og hun behøver at rejse sig fra stolen i pubben. På dette tidspunkt bliver jeg lidt pinlig over, at jeg gentagende gange i løbet af frokostsamtalerne havde trådt i spinaten ved at brokke mig over smerterne i alderdommen, stive led osv. Pokkers – hvor er jeg dog dum! Jeg tror, jeg omtalte specifikt at Lois og jeg har det lidt sværere, end før, ved at rejse sig fra vores lænestole, når det er tid til seng. Jorden sluger mig !!!!!

14:15 Vi siger farvel til Gill og Lucy, der planlægger at besøge den nærliggende Cuddesdon og Ripon College, et teologisk kollegium: Gill mødte Peter, sin kommende mand, for første gang i ca. 1983, da Peter var studerende i kollegiet og Gill (25) arbejdede som kollegiums arkivar. Peter må have charmeret hende, ingen tvivl om det, fordi hun hurtigt droppede Chris, sin kæreste i flere år. Gill og Peter giftede sig to år senere.

Ripon College, Cuddesdon

Peter uddannede sig oprindeligt til anglikansk præst, men senere konverterede han til katolicismen, som en protest mod indførelsen af kvindelige præster i den anglikanske kirke. Han er nu 59 år gammel, så jeg formoder, der stadig er tid til at blive pave.

Selv Pave Francis måtte starte i besværlige omstændigheder (rapport, den 6 marts 2015, kilde Onion News). 

"Tilbage i 70'erne var jeg bare prædikant, der kørte min varebil fra landsby til landsby over Argentina for at levere prædiken for publikummer på kkun 10 eller 15 personer," fortalte Francis journalister, og bemærkede, at i de dage som et nyligt ordineret medlem af præsteret, var han typisk en af de sidste præster til at gå op og udføre tilbedelse hver aften. "Jeg ville komme der og stedet ville være lortsteder: intet farvet glas, bare et enkelt kryds på væggen, og ingenting bortsat fra et par ustabile gamle bænke. De fleste af dem havde ikke engang et ordentligt alter til at stå på. "

"Tanken om at indvie eukaristien på en top-katedral var dengang bare en ønskedrøm”, tilføjede han. "Jeg var heldig, hvis jeg kunne få en enkelt person til at lave korsets tegn i slutningen af mine velsignelser."

Peter har derfor en mulighed for at blive udpeget til pave, men chancerne er imod ham, synes jeg. Der gik lang tid siden kirken sidst udpegede en engelsk pave, tror jeg. Hvorfor denne sindsyge modreaktion mod englændere, undrer jeg mig.

14:30 Lois og jeg kører i mellemtiden over til Iffley, en lille forstad til byen Oxford, og tjekker ind på vores hotel. Vi går i seng i et par timer – det trænger vi til, ingen tvivl om det!

17:00 Vi vælter ud af sengen og kører over til Risinghurst, en anden forstad til Oxford, for at tilbringe aftenen hos Sharon, Lois’ niece og hendes familie. Ian, Lois’ neveu, smutter også ind sammen med sin familie.

Sharon og (især) Ian og deres henholdsvise partnere er en slags babyfabrik. Ian og Tasha, hans partner, har 7 børn og 2 børnebørn. Sharon og Michael, hendes partner, har 4 børn. Alle de yngre børn og børnebørn er med til aftenens middag, men de fleste af de ældre børn har fritids jobs i weekenderne, så vi i aften desværre ikke ser dem.

Sharon og Ians (og deres partneres) ”babyfabrik”: Sharon og Ian

er henholdsvis numre 4 og 3 fra venstre

En sjov aften, med en masse snik-snak. Lois og jeg finder det lidt foruroligende, at blive mindet om, at vi er grandtante og grandonkel til 11, og hvad er værre end det, storgrandtante og storgrandonkel til 2.

Men det er meget forfriskende for Lois og mig at være i selskab med børn og unge mennesker. For det meste plejer vi at snakke udelukkende med andre gamle krager. Vi gør vores bedste ikke at virke for gammeldags og prøver at snakke om de sociale medier osv, og nævne figurer i et par sæbeoperaer, for at lyder lidt mindre antik, end vi virkelig er. Men jeg ved ikke, om vi slipper af sted med vores store nummer, eller ej  – sandsynligvis ikke, mistænker jeg, men det er juryen stadig ude om ha ha.

21:00 Vi siger farvel til Sharon og Ian og deres store familier. Vi kører over til vores hotel i Iffley. På vej gør jeg noget endnu dummere, end alle dumme tingene, jeg i dag har gjort. Vi skal køre via Oxfords ringvej, hvor trafikken er stærk med alle de lyse forlygter af modkørende biler, hvilket jeg nu til dags finder ganske svært for øjne – jeg kører bil sjældent om aftenen. Men jeg kører meget forsigtigt og finder den rigtige afkørslen uden besvær.

Så slapper jeg helt af for resterende af vejen – stor fejl! Jeg bliver fanget af en hastighedkamera: jeg bliver pludselig klar over, at to fotos er blevet taget af vores bil. Jeg kigger ned på speedometret og jeg ser, jeg kører 40 miles i timen i et bebygget område, hvor hastighedgrænsen kun er 30.

Dette er første gang i mit liv, at jeg er blevet fanget på denne måde. Jeg er normalt meget forsigtig at overholde hastighedgrænser. Jeg synes, at bommerten resulterede fra min ekstrem træthed, mine problemer med at køre i mørket, og min lettelse over at have klaret ringvejen uden besvær. Pokkers!

21:30 Vi slapper af på vores hotelværelse og ser lidt fjernsyn, før vi hopper op i sengen. Sikke en dag!!!

08:00 Vi går i bad, og smutter ind i hotellets restaurant, der er propfyldt med kinesiske turister eller studerende.

10:30 Vi tjekker ud af hotellet og kører over til Kennington for at spise frokost hos Jen og Bill, Jens mand. Desværre efterlader jeg genopladeren til min smartphone i vores hotelværelse. Pokkers! Jeg har ikke et meget succesfuldt besøg, ingen tvivl om det.

Jen har været Lois’ veninde siden barndom. Vi opdager at de lokale skoler for tiden har en uges ferie, og Jen og Bill i dag passer på tre af deres børnebørn, Lynette, Ben og Ivo, hvilket er rart for Lois og mig: mere selskab med unge mennesker, og vi kan gentage vores store nummer fra i gårs aften, hvor vi prøver at virke mindre gammeldags, end vi virkelig er. Vi prøver at bruge de udtrykke ”like” og ”I’m like”, og strø dem tilældigt i samtalen, men jeg har på fornemmelsen, at vi er ikke helt overbevisende – pokkers!

Men unge mennesker er en god kilde, til at finde ud af om moderne slangord osv. Lois og jeg var i går aftes lidt bekymret da vi hørte, at Lois’ 7 uger gamle stor stor niece hedder Luna. I vores barndom blev børn drillet eller mobbet i skolerne, hvis de havde usædvanlige fornavne, og vi var også bekymret over, om Luna ville får øjenavnet ”Loony”, et slangord, der betyder ”sindssyg”.

Men nu til dags er der faktisk så mange usædvanlige fornavne, at det er de ”sædvanlige” fornavne, der er usædvanlige. Derudover, er slangordet ”loony” gået helt af brug, hvilket er beroligende.

Jeg smider en afslappet henvisning ind til Keshas ”Tik Tok”, den eneste popsang Lois og jeg kender siden 2000, men jeg er bange for, at den ikke imponerer dem – den er allerede for gammeldags lader det til.

13:30 Efter frokosten, slapper Bill, jeg og børnene af i stuen, mens Lois hjælper Jen med at tage af bordet, og arbejde i køkkenet med at vaske op og rydde op osv.

Lois og Jen er meget meget gamle venner, så selvfølgelig kommer de meget meget godt ud af det med hinanden. De kan godt lide at snakke om de gamle dage, mens Lois hjælper Jen i køkkenet.

Denne slags situation er lidt af en dårlig nyhed for mig, fordi det betyder, at jeg skal sidde i stuen og tale med Bill. Jeg finder Bill ganske lidt af en udfordring at snakke med – han ejer ikke en humoristisk sans og efter min mening har han en temmelig kedelig personlighed, i modsætning til Jen, der er så livlig – pokkers! Også er Jen lidt bange for, at Bill begynder at vise tegn på mild demens, og det er jeg enig  med hende i – uha!

Det værste er, at han har tendens til pludselig at stille mig religiøse spørgsmål ud af det blå, eller fortælle mig om en eller anden religiøs bog, han er i gang med at læse. Han læser for tiden en bog om landet Israel, og han starter at fortælle mig, at Israel er et perfekt land, med et ideelt klima, men jeg tror, at Bill kun har et lavt niveau af geografisk viden, og virker at være uvidende for eksempel, om hvad ækvatoren er (sandsynligvis på grund af sin mild demens, men det er jeg ikke helt sikker på). Jeg prøver at skifte emnet, så snart jeg synes, der er acceptabelt.

Senere spørger han mig, om jeg nogensinde har tænkt på (eller læst om) den hellige ånd. Heldigvis på dette tidspunkt begynder de tre børn at larme så meget med deres kortspil på gulvtæppet, at samtale blive umulig, så jeg ikke er nødt til at besvare Bills spørgsmål, gudskelov!

14:30 Lois og jeg kører hjem til Cheltenham og går i seng i et par timer.

18:00 Vi spiser en CookShop-færdigret til aftensmad og ser lidt fjernsyn: en dokumentarfilm om majaerne.

En interessant film: arkæologer har for nylig opdaget, at majaernes byer var meget meget større, end vi før i tiden troede, på grund af ny teknologi. Man kan nu idenficere byens bygninger med at flyve op med helikoptere og skyde nogle slags laserstråler, der ligner røntgenstråler, gennem de tætte jungler, der omgiver den kendte rester.

Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!

Men Lois og jeg er meget trætte. Vi putter os ind til hinanden i sofaen og døser lidt af og til. Vi er trods alt bare et par gamle krager, uanset hvor meget vi prøver ikke at se for gammeldags ud. Vi føler vores alder.

22:00 Vi går i seng – zzzzzzzzz!!!!!