Monday 19 February 2018

04:00 I get up early and look online. I glance at whatsapp and I see that Sarah, our daughter in Australia, has sent me a text message - she has just booked a rental car for us from the local Joondalup Car Hire firm. Lois and I have decided to go for an economy car, two-door or 4-door. Last time we were dependent on public transport, which made day trips quite long - we used to take a bus to Joondalup railway station and afterwards take a suburban train into the city center or into the country, so we had to leave the house quite early in the day .

Joondalup Car Hire 

09:30 We head over to Bishops Cleeve, a small town located 3 miles north of Cheltenham. We do the food shopping, and afterwards we swing by the Factory Shop to look for extra clothes we need for our coming vacation. Lois buys a pair of tops. I'm looking for a pair of trousers, also a lightweight jacket with as many pockets as possible - pockets are useful when traveling, for passports, tickets, etc. But I cannot find anything suitable - damn! But we are planning to go to town on Wednesday to look for some last minute things.

We drive over to Stoke Orchard and drop in at Pussywillows cattery to show them Minx's health certificates giving details of her shots, injections, etc. Minx is the cat our daughter Alison left with us five years ago when her family moved to Denmark. Minx is going to be staying at Pussywillows during our absence on vacation.

We swing by Stoke Orchard recycling center to throw out our old printer and our old computer monitor. We drive home and relax with a cup of coffee on the couch.

12:30 Lunch and afterwards a giant afternoon nap - zzzzzz !!! We get up at 3pm.

16:00 I get going with collecting the clothes I want to take on holiday. After an hour, there is now a big pile of clothes on one of the 3 beds in our daughter Alison's old room.

the pile of clothes I'm taking on holiday - on the bed by the window

Lois' pile is on the second bed. "It's a start!"

It's a strange feeling to be on the brink of a vacation. I feel anxious about the flight, but at the same time also strangely relaxed. But I am also fully aware that the level of my Danish - the main reason for writing this blog - is getting worse as the holiday approaches.

However, I suspect that this is just human nature. A local undertaker recently hit the headlines after admitting that he tended to get a little careless as his vacation approached (report June 28 2013, source: Onion Local News).

According to the article, as the holiday season approached and local Donnellan Family Funeral Services staff prepared themselves for their summer vacation, Director Gene Donnellan told local reporters that the last couple of embalmings he performed before the holiday were "typically pretty slapdash."

"To be honest, I'm pretty exhausted the whole week before I leave so when I get to the last few organs, I usually end up overdoing the formaldehyde and skipping right to the cavity drainage," said Donnellan speaking about his "admittedly messy" last minute's process, which he added," is far from [my] best work but gets the job done.

"See, if it's Friday 6pm, and I have two weeks in the Virgin Islands in front of me, it's not like I'm going to get to every toe. I just pack the anus and vagina with gauze to prevent seepage, put the bag of organs in the bottom of the coffin and call it a day. "

At press time, Donnellan was busy  absent-mindedly suturing a corpse's mouth whilst wondering what kind of tropical drinks he would be ordering.

I recall that the article led to a bit of scandal in the local area, but I sympathize with Gene - Lois doesn't know it, but I often skip over vacuuming behind the dressing table and under the bed in our bedroom if I am looking forward to having fun with something nice.

18:00 We have dinner and spend the rest of the evening watching television. The TV quizzes "Only Connect" and "University Challenge" are on, two of the few programs that are not suitable for very stupid people ha ha.

As always, Lois and I are very adept at answering the historical questions and getting the historical connections, and we knew all about the fact that Louise de Kerouaille, Barbara Villiers, Lucy Walter and Nell Gwynne were all mistresses of Charles II of England.

Nell Gwnne was a great rival of Louise de Kerouaille, who was a catholic. One day, when a angry mob was busy hurling things at her carriage, Nell Gwynne shouted out of the window: "Good people, I'm the PROTESTANT whore."

It's nice also to see a question referring to my favorite poet Philip Larkin's famous poem "Annus Mirabilis". The answer to the question is that we are looking here at 4 "events" that took place in 4 successive years, from 1963 to 1966.

The popular English poet Philip Larkin wrote a poem, "Annus Mirabilis," about his own situation in 1963, expressing a lot of his generation's feeling of being caught in no-man's land between the vestiges of Victorianism and the new tolerant society. He wrote, with the usual Larkin regretfulness:

»Sexual intercourse began /

in nineteen hundred and sixty three /

(which was rather late for me) /

between the end of the "Chatterley" ban /

and the Beatles' first LP. ""

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz !!!!!

Danish translation

04:00 Jeg står tidligt op og kigger lidt på nettet. Jeg ser på whatsapp, og jeg ser, at Sarah, vores datter i Australien, lige har sendt mig en sms – hun har lige bestilt en lejebil til os fra den lokale Joondalup  Car Hire forretning. Lois og jeg har besluttet at vælge en økonomi-bil, todørs eller 4-dørs. Sidste gang var vi afhængige af offentlig transport, hvilket gjorde dagudflugter ganske lange – vi plejede at tage en bus til Joondalup –banegården og bagefter tage en forstadstog ind i bymidten eller ud på landet, så vi måtte tage af sted fra huset ganske tidligt på dagen.

Joondalup Billeje-forretningen

09:30 Vi kører over til Bishops Cleeve, en lille by, der ligger 3 miles nord for Cheltenham. Vi går madindkøb, og bagefter smutter vi ind i Factory Shop, for at lede efter ekstra tøj, vi har brug for på vores kommende ferie. Lois køber et par toppe. Jeg leder efter et par bukser, også en letvægtsjakke med så mange lommer som muligt – lommer er nyttige, når man er på rejse, for at holde pas, billetter osv. Men det lykkes mig ikke at finde noget passende – pokkers!  Vi planlægger at gå i byen på onsdag, for at lede efter nogle sidste minut ting.

Vi kører over til Stoke Orchard og smutter ind hos Pussywillows kattehotel, for at vise dem Minx’ sundhedscertificater, der giver detaljer om hendes skud, indsprøjtninger osv. Minx er den kat vores datter Alison efterlod hos os for 5 år siden, da hendes familie flyttede til Danmark. Minx skal bo hos Pussywillows i vores fravær på ferie.

Vi kigger ind i Stoke Orchards genbrugscenter for at smide vores gamle printer og vores gamle computer-monitor ud. Vi kører hjem og slapper af med en kop kaffe i sofaen.

12:30 Frokost og bagefter en gigantisk eftermiddagslur – zzzzzz!!! Vi står op kl 15.

16:00 Jeg går i gang med at samle tøjerne, jeg ønsker at tage med på ferie. Efter en time er der nu en stor bunke tøj på en af de 3 senge i vores datter Alisons gamle værelse.

bunken af tøjer, jeg tager med på ferie – på sengen foran vinduet.

Lois’ bunke ligger på den anden seng. "Det er en start!"

Det er en mærkelig  følelse at være på randen af en ferie. Jeg føler mig ængstelig over flyveturen, men samtidigt lidt slappet af. Men jeg er også helt klar over, at niveauet af min dansk – hovedforårsagen til at jeg skriver denne blog, forværres, som ferien nærmer sig.

Jeg mistænker imidlertid, at det kun er menneskets natur. En lokal bedemand ramte overskrifterne for nylig, efter han indrømmede, at han havde tendens til at blive lidt skødesløs, som sin ferie nærmede sig.

Som feriesæsonen nærmede sig, og lokale Donnellan Family Funeral Services personale forberedte sig på deres sommerferie, fortalte forretningens direktør Gene Donnellan lokale journalister, at de sidste par balsameringer han udførte før ferien var "typisk talt helt skødesløse".

"For at være helt ærlig, er jeg temmelig udmattet hele ugen før jeg tager afsted, så når jeg kommer til de sidste par organer, ender jeg normalt med at smøre for meget formaldehyd og avancere lige til hulrumsdræningen, "sagde Donnellan om hans "ærligt talt sjuskede "sidste minuts proces , som han tilføjede,  ”er langt fra [mit] bedste arbejde, men får jobbet gjort.

”Kan du se, hvis det er fredag, klokken er 18, og jeg har to uger i Jomfruøerne foran mig, er det ikke som om jeg kommer til at smøre hver tå. Og så vil jeg bare overfylde anus og vagina med gasbind for at forhindre nedsivning, læg posen af ​​organer i bunden af ​​kisten og kalde det en dag."

Da nyhedshjemmeside var ved at gå i trykket var Donnellan i gang med at sy åndsfraværende et ligs mund, mens han tænkte på hvilken slags tropisk drink han skulle bestille.

Jeg mindes, at artiklen førte til lidt af en skandale i det lokale område, men jeg sympatiserer med Gene – Lois ved det ikke, men jeg udelader ofte at støvsuge bag toiletbordet og under sengen i vores soveværelse, hvis jeg glæder mig til at hygge mig med et eller andet.

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og bruger resten af aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn. De viser tv-quizzerne ”Only Connect” og ”University Challenge”, to af de få programmer, der ikke er egnede til meget dumme mennesker ha ha.

Som altid, Lois og jeg er meget dygtige til at besvare de historiske spørgsmål og historiske forbindelser, og vi vidste godt, at Louise de Kerouaille, Barbara Villiers, Lucy Walter og Nell Gwynne alle var elskerinder af Karl 2. af England.

Nell Gwnne var en stor rival af Louise de Kerouaille, som var katolik. En dag, da en vred larmende hob var i gang med at kaste ting på hendes vogn, råbte Nell Gwynne ud af vinduet: "Gode mennesker, jeg er den PROTESTANTISKE hore".

Det er rart også at se et spørgsmål, der refererer til vores yndlingsdigter Philip Larkins berømte digt ”Annus Mirabilis”. Svaret på spørgsmålet er, at vi her ser 4 ”begivenheder”, der fandt sted i 4 successive år, fra 1963 til 1966.

Den folkekære engelske digter Philip Larkin skrev et digt, ”Annus Mirabilis,” om sin egen situation i 1963, hvor han giver udtryk for ganske mange af hans generations fornemmelse af at være fanget i ingenmandsland mellem resterne af victorianismen og det nye tolerante samfund. Han skrev, med sædvanlig Larkin-fortrædelighed :

»Samlejet begyndte/

i nittenhundredeogtreogtres/

(som var noget for sent for mig) /

mellem enden på censuren af ”Lady Chatterley”/

og The Beatles' første lp.«”

22:00 Vi går i seng – zzzzzzzzz!!!!!