Tuesday, August 21 2018

08:00 Lois and I get up and go in the shower. After breakfast I get going with clearing up in the living room because my friend, "Magyar" Mike, comes at 10 o'clock every Tuesday to study Hungarian with me.

This is our last session before our annual "break" - we plan to resume our sessions in 6 weeks' time. I notice again how much Mike has aged in the last 6 months: he has had a very bad year. He could not drive for a few months due to administrative misunderstandings between his medical clinic and the DVLA (the Transport Department's official driving license authority). 

And his neighbor, Peter, disappeared about 1 year ago in a mysterious way, leaving a house and a garden, both of which have caused Mike problems: the garden has become a real jungle, for example, and there have been massive water leakage problems in the house itself. It was Mike who had to pay for a plumber for example - what madness !!!! Poor Mike !!!!!

Flashback to 2017: "Magyar" Mike (left) in happier times, 

together with his grandson Stephen and Mike's wife, "Magyar" Mary, 

on holiday in Prague, Czech Republic, where Stephen was a student.

11:00 Mike has to leave, and Lois and I relax with a cup of coffee on the sofa. We chat a little about Lois' cousin, Sylvia, who lives in Melbourne, Australia. Sylvia and her new partner, Rod, have asked to stay with us for two weeks next month, but we have not heard any further details from them about their plans.

Sylvia with Rod, her new partner

Sylvia put up a post a few days ago on Facebook, which just announced, without giving details, that hers and Rod's visit to "UK and France" was beginning in 16 days' time.

Sylvia's laconic Facebook Post: It would be nice to have

more details, to say the least !!!!

We decide to ask Sylvia about the details of their plans. And later in the day she sends us an email.

4th (September) arrive Birmingham Airport

4-13 Redditch with Sylvia's Aunt June

14-16 Wales with her uncle Paul

17-24 Cheltenham with Lois and me

25-30 Weston super-mare (hotel)

30- 2. Oxford (hotel)

3-8 (October) Market Harborough with Sylvia's cousin Colin

9-11 London (hotel)

12-15 Paris (hotel)

15 fly back to Melbourne

The most disturbing news is that Sylva and Rod will not be renting a car. It seems that Sylvia's aunt has told her that England's public transport system is "quite good" - does Sylvia's aunt live in the same country as us, we wonder. What madness !!!!! Maybe it was true 60 years ago, but not nowadays, no doubt about that !!!

Sylvia says she and Rod do not feel confident about driving a car in England. This news surprised me - Lois and I rented a car in Australia, and we discovered that the road system and road rules are mostly the same in the two countries. However, that is their choice. It is true that traffic in England is very heavy in many places, but Melbourne is also a bit chaotic to put it mildly.

12:30 Lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a huge afternoon nap. I get up at 3:30pm.

16:00 I sit in front of my laptop and take a little look online, and at the most influential Danish news sites. I see that the prize has just been awarded for this year's funniest joke at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

It was the young stand-up comedian Adam Rowe from Liverpool who won the prestigious award this year. The joke goes: ‘working at a job center must be quite hard. Especially when you know that if you get fired, you have to turn up again the next day.'

One of the other jokes in the top 10 also attracted my attention: 'In my last relationship, I hated being treated like a piece of meat. My girlfriend was vegan and refused to touch me. '

These two jokes work quite well in English and Danish for a change. But in my opinion 2016's jokes were a bit more amusing still: that was when Tim Vine, my favorite stand-up comedian, won the award for his verbal humor.

Tim Vine is my favorite standup comedian - I really like his verbal humour. In 2016 he won the prize for the funniest joke heard that year at the Edinburgh Festival:  “I’ve decided to sell my Hoover (vacuum-cleaner) – well it was just collecting dust”.

The joke does not work so well in Danish, because the word for "vacuum cleaner" is literally "dust-sucker".  With some jokes it's impossible to translate them successfully into Danish.

The festival's organisers at that time also published the top 15 of 2016’s other funniest jokes. Number one - "I'm not a fan of the new pound coin. But then again I hate all change "(Ken Cheng) does not work in Danish at all. But some jokes are potential candidates for successful translation.

Number 2: Trump is nothing like Hitler. There's no way he could write a book. (Frankie Boyle)

Number 3: I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point? (Alexei Sayle)

Number 4: I'm looking for a "girl next-door" type, and I'm just going to keep moving till I find her (Lew Fitz)

Number 9: I wasn't particularly close to my father before he died, which was lucky because he trod on a land mine (Olaf Falafel)

Number 10: When somebody says "I don't believe in coincidences", I say "Oh my God, me neither !". (Alasdair Beckett-King)

Number 13: For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don't want to do it. (Phil Wang)

Number 14: I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the ark? (Adam Hess)

Number 15: I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act. (Tim Vine).

[Sound effect: a bunch of Danes not laughing at ha ha ha !!!!]

18:00 Lois and I have dinner and spend the evening watching television. The 4th part of a new documentary series is on about the Vikings.

An interesting progam in some ways, however, this documentary film is a classic example of an hour-long program that contains only about 15 minutes of information.

A well-preserved Viking ship was excavated in 1904 from an isolated burial mound in southern Norway, the most spectacular excavation ever from the Viking era, and labelled the Oseberg excavation. The ship was in very good condition and contained two female skeletons - both elderly. The foundations created a sensation all over the world, and there was speculation about whether women were Viking queens.

It is still unclear about the women's identity. The skeletons were recently re-excavated, and their bones and teeth were examined. One of the women was of Scandinavian origin, but the other one came from the Middle East, for example, somewhere like Iran. It could be that the second woman was the first woman's maid, but this is nothing more than speculation, all in all.

The original excavation in 1904 was the world's first "professional", "scientific" excavation. Archaeologists in previous centuries had been rich amateurs for the most part. The project hit the world's headlines in a big way. The great excavations in Egypt (Tutankhamon, etc.) had not yet happened.

It would be very satisfying to know who the two women were and why they were given a prestigious funeral: prestigious, yes, but for some reason the burial did not take place in a particularly prestigious place - under an isolated burial mound in the middle of the countryside, far away from the towns and the coasts.

the isolated Norwegian burial mound, where the beautiful Viking ship and

the two female skeletons were excavated in 1904

It is interesting that it was only in the last 200 years that people were brave enough to excavate burial mounds. Most people had believed that the burial mounds contained victims of the Black Death, and they were afraid that an excavation might resuscitate the plague. Good grief - what madness !!!!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz !!!!

Danish translation

08:00 Lois og jeg står op og går i bad. Efter morgenmad går jeg i gang med at rydde op i stuen, fordi min ven, ”Magyar” Mike kommer hver tirsdag kl 10 for at studere ungarsk med mig.

Dette er vores sidste session inden vores årlige ”pause” – vi planlægger at genoptage vores timerne  om 6 ugers tid. Jeg bemærker igen, hvor meget Mike er ældes i de seneste 6 måneder: han har haft et meget dårligt år. Han kunne ikke køre bil i nogle måneder på grund af administrative misforståelser mellem sin lægeklinik og DVLA (Transportsministeriets officielle kørekortafdeling). Og hans nabo, Peter, forsvandt for ca. 1 år siden på en mysteriøs måde, og efterlod et hus og en have, der begge har voldt problemer for Mike: haven er blevet til en sand jungle, for eksempel, og der har været massive vandlækageproblemer i selve huset. Det var Mike, der måtte betale for en blikkenslageren for eksempel – sikke et vanvid!!!!   Stakkels Mike !!!!!

Tilbageblik til 2017: ”Magyar” Mike (til venstre) i lykkeligere tider, 

sammen med sin barnebarn Stephen og sin kone, ”Magyar” Mary, 

på ferie i Prag, Tjekkiet, hvor Stephen var studerende.

11:00 Mike skal af sted og Lois og jeg slapper af med en kop kaffe i sofaen. Vi snakker lidt om Lois’ kusine, Sylvia, der bor i Melbourne, Australien. Sylvia og hendes nye partner, Rod, have bedt om at bo hos os i to uger næste måned, men vi har hørt slet ikke nogle videre detaljer fra dem, om deres planer.

Sylvia sammen med Rod, sin nye partner

Sylvia har for et par dage siden lagt en post op på Facebook, der bare annoncerede uden detaljer, at hendes og Rods besøg til ”England og Frankrig” begynder om 16 dages tid.

Sylvias lakoniske Facebook-post: det ville være rart at have

flere detaljer, for at sige mildt!!!!

Vi beslutter at bede Sylvia om detaljerne af deres planer. Senere på dagen sender hun os en email.

d. 4. (september) ankommer til Birmingham lufthavn

d. 4-13 Redditch hos Sylvias tante June

d. 14-16 Wales hos hendes onkel Paul

d. 17-24 Cheltenham hos Lois og mig

d. 25-30 Weston-super-mare (hotel)

d. 30- 2. Oxford (hotel)

d. 3-8 (oktober) Market Harborough hos Sylvias fætter Colin

d. 9-11 London (hotel)

d.12-15 Paris (hotel)

d. 15 flyver tilbage til Melbourne

Den mest foruroligende nyhed er, at Sylva og Rod ikke vil leje en bil. Det lader til at Sylvias tante har fortalt hende, at Englands offentlige transportsystem er ”ganske godt” – bor Sylvias tante i samme land som os, undrer vi. Sikke et vanvid!!!!!  Måske var det der sandt for 60 år siden, men ikke nu til dags, ingen tvivl om det!!!

Sylvia siger at hun og Rod ikke føler sig selvsikre på, at køre bil i England. Denne nyhed overraskede mig – Lois og jeg lejede en bil i Australien, og vi opdagede, at vejsystemet og vejreglerne er for det meste det samme i de to lande.  Det er imidlertid deres valg. Det er sandt, at trafikken i England er meget stærk i mange steder, men Melbourne er også lidt kaotisk for at sige mildt.

12:30 Frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng og tager en gigantisk eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 15:30.

16:00 Jeg sætter mig foran min bærebare og kigger lidt på nettet, og især på de mest indflydelsesrige danske nyhedswebsteder. Jeg ser, at prisen er blevet uddelt for årets sjoveste joke ved den store kulturfestival i Skotland 'Edinburgh Festival Fringe'.

Det var den unge stand-up-komiker Adam Rowe fra Liverpool, der vandt den fornemme pris. Vittigheden lyder således: At arbejde på et jobcenter må være ganske hårdt. Især når man ved, at hvis man bliver fyret, så skal man møde op igen næste dag.'

En af de andre vittigeheder i top 10 henledte min opmærksomhed også: 'I mit sidste forhold hadede jeg at blive behandlet som et stykke kød. Min kæreste var veganer og nægtede at røre mig.'

Disse to vittigheder virker ganske godt på både engelsk og dansk for engangs skyld. Men efter min mening var året 2016s vittigheder lidt morsommere, da Tim Vine, min yndlings-standup komiker, vandt prisen  for sin sproglige humor – ”jeg har besluttet at sælge min støvsuger– den samler bare støv”. Joken virker ikke så godt på dansk, fordi selve ordet for maskinen er ”støvsuger”. Nogle jokes er det umuligt at oversætte med succes til dansk – det ved jeg med sikkerhed.

Tim Vine, min yndlings-standup komiker

Jeg mindes, at festivalens arrangørede dengang publicerede året 2016s 15 morsomste jokes. Nummer ét – ”I’m not a fan of the new pound coin. But then again I hate all change” (Ken Cheng) virker slet ikke på dansk – det har jeg ikke nogen tvivl om.

Men nogle jokes er mulige kandidater til succesfuld oversættelse.

Nummer 2: Trump ligner slet ikke Hitler. På ingen måde kunne han skrive en bog. (Frankie Boyle)

Nummer 3: Jeg har holdt op med at stille retoriske spørgsmål. Hvad er pointen? (Alexei Sayle)

Nummer 4: Jeg er på udkig efter ”nabopige” type, og jeg skal lige blive ved med at flytte hus, indtil jeg finder hende (Lew Fitz)

Nummer 9: jeg var ikke ret tæt på min far, før han døde, hvilket var heldigt, fordi han trådte på en landmine (Olaf Falafel)

Nummer 10: Når nogen fortæller mig, han ikke tror på sammenfald, siger jeg ”Gud, heller ikke mig!”. (Alasdair Beckett-King)

Nummer 13: At dø ligner meget at campere for mit vedkommende. Det vil jeg ikke gerne. (Phil Wang)

Nummer 14: Jeg spekulerer om, hvor mange kamælioner sneg sig ombord på Noas ark. (Adam Hess)

Nummer 15: Jeg var til et Pretenders-gig. Det var en tributgruppe. (Tim Vine).

[lydeffekt: en flok danskere, der ikke griner ha ha ha!!!!]

18:00 Lois og jeg spiser aftensmad og bruger aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn. De viser den 4. del af en ny dokumentarfilmserie, der handler om vikingerne.

Et interessant progam på nogle måder, men imidlertid er denne dokumentarfilm er et klassisk eksempel på en time lang program med ca. 15 minutters information.

En godt opbevaret vikingeskib blev udgravet i 1904 fra en isoleret gravhøj i det sydlige Norge, den mest spektakulære udgravning nogensinde fra vikingetiden, kaldet for Oseberg-udgravningen. Skibet var i meget god stand og indholdte to kvindelige skeletter – begge ældre. Fundet skabte en sensation verden over, og der var spekulation på, om kvinderne var vikingedronninger.

Det er stadig uklart om kvindernes identitet. Skeletterne blev for nylig genudgravet, og deres knogler og tænder blev undersøgt. En af kvinderne var af skandinavsk oprindelse, men den anden kom muligvis fra mellemøsten, Iran for eksempel. Det kan være at den anden kvinde var den første kvindes tjenestepige, men dette er ikke noget mere end spekulation alt i alt.

Den oprindelige udgravning i 1904 var verdens 1. ”professionelle”, ”videnskabelige” udgravning. Arkæologere i de forgående århundreder har været rige amatører for det meste. Projektet ramte verdens overskrifter på en stor måde. De store udgravninger i Egypten (Tutunkamun osv) var dengang ikke sket endnu.

Det ville være meget tilfredsstillende at vide, hvem de to kvinder var, og hvorfor de fik sikke en prestigiøse begravelse:  prestigiøs, ja, men af en eller anden grund fandt begravelsen sted ikke i et særligt prestigiøse sted – under en isoleret gravhøj midt i naturen, langt væk fra byer og kyster.

den isolerede norske gravhøj, hvor den smukke vikingeskib og

de to kvindelige skeletter bleve udgravet i 1904

Det er interessant, at det kun var i de seneste 200 år, at folk var modige nok til at udgrave gravhøje. De fleste mennesker troede, at gravhøjene indholdte ofre for den sorte død, og en udgravning måske ville genoplive pesten. Du godeste – sikke et vanvid!!!!

22:00 Vi går i seng – zzzzzzzz!!!!