Tuesday, November 20, 2018

09:30 Lois and I get up and slowly go about preparing for the day ahead when my friend "Magyar Mike" rings at the door. Yikes, I totally forgot that he would be coming today to resume our weekly "Hungarian hour" - good grief! I'm on the toilet and Lois is stumbling round the house without a stitch on her body. Yikes (again) !!!! She slips a dressing-gown on and lets Mike in.

10:00 Mike and I chat a little. I have not seen him for almost 3 months for one reason or another. Lois and I both think he's aged - he looks like a "little old man", slightly bent, and his voice is weaker than before.

flashback to 2017: "Magyar" Mike (left) in happier times

in Prague, Czech Republic, with his grandson, Steven, and his wife, "Magyar" Mary

1998: (left to right) me, Lois and Mike at a restaurant in Szentendre, Hungary

1994: me (left) and Mike on my first visit to the country. I'm showcasing

a second-hand "excellent co-worker" medal from the communist era,

which I bought at a flea market in Pécs in southern Hungary

Mike has recently switched cars - although he is sticking to the Ford Fiesta as his favourite brand. But he has always been a nervous driver, and he is still having trouble driving in the new car and is having difficulty understanding the controls on the dashboard, he says.

For more than a year, he has had problems with the house next to his own house in the small town of Nailsworth. His neighbour, Peter, cleared out 18 months ago and seems to have disappeared without trace, and Peter's garden has become a real jungle. Mike has spoken to the council and with the police, but it seems they have hardly any powers to intervene when it comes to private property unless a public health hazard arises, which is a bit annoying for Mike.

The police in some US cities have more options, I think. The authorities and police in Philadelphia hit the headlines 4 years ago when they broke into a local man's house in response to reports of a suspicious lack of activity at the address. Officers found dozens of neglected fantasy football teams in the house, a property registered to a local man, 27-year-old Grant Novak (Source: Onion News).

"Earlier today around 2.30pm, we recovered a number of abandoned rosters that were in critical condition, We cannot decide how long they have been sitting here, but we have evidence that some of these lineups have not had any attention at all since week 3." Officer Keith Wade, told reporters.

"The owner of these teams seem to have signed them up to a worrying number of leagues with no intention of putting in the necessary time and effort to maintain them, at which point the perpetrator left them callously alone in cold blood. As for the teams themselves we have no choice but to wait and see if they show any signs of improvement over what remains of the season."

What a crazy world we live in !

But back to Mike's problem in Nailsworth. What has become of Mike's neighbour Peter?

I managed to find Peter on the LinkedIn website last year, which seems to be a kind of network / database for professional people. He categorised himself as a consultant in the areas of agriculture and the environment and their effect on international development - and he has a bachelor's degree from Imperial College, London. So he is not your average down-and-out ha ha ha.

I also found Peter on Facebook, although his profile picture is a bit unrevealing, to put it mildly.

Peter's enigmatic Facebook profile picture. But what is he holding in his right hand?

Is it a dagger I see there before me? Or is it just a banana? The jury is still out on that one.

I myself have two theories:

(1) I know that Peter is a member of GreenPeace, the aggressive environmentalist organisation. My theory is that he has gone "off-grid" in preparation for a major terrorist plot, for example, threatening to blow up the world unless the entire planet's population converts to vegan: I see Peter as a kind of Bond villain maybe.

(2) Or, Peter is being held captive by a nymphomanic, maybe a Bond villainess. Such things happen in real life, there is no doubt about that, and it is not just a teenage boy's fantasy. In the ancient Icelandic saga I am currently reading, as a member of my friend Scilla's U3A Old Norse group, Hrut, the hero of the saga, is held prisoner by Gunnhilda, the Norwegian queen mother, who locks him (and herself!) in her bedroom for 2 weeks . My god, what a crazy world we live in !!!

This morning Mike and I chat a little about our family and grandchildren and then we start studying a little Hungarian.

Mike's understanding of the Hungarian language has worsened during our 3 month "study break". He has difficulty today translating even Hungarian numbers into English, which is a little worrying, but hopefully his performance will improve as soon as we take up our studies again for real.

11:00 Mike has to leave. Lois and I walk into the village and swing by the local post office to send off two "Peter Rabbit" children's magazines to Lily and Jessie, our 5 year old twin grandchildren in Perth, Australia. 

Afterwards we walk on a bit further to Waghornes, the local butcher's shop, to buy meat. 

For the first time since the beginning of spring, it feels like winter is moving closer, with grey clouds, drizzle and a bit of sleet in the air, on and off.

13:00 We have lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a huge afternoon nap. I get up at 3.30pm and we relax with a cup of tea and a piece of bread with homemade apricot jam - yum yum!

18:00 We have dinner and spend the rest of the evening watching television. The latest episode of "First Dates" is on.

This show is mine and Lois's favourite dating show, where participants go on a date and eat at a special restaurant with a potential partner that the TV channel has chosen for them.

The program to some extent has a serious purpose, i.e. to find possible compatible partners for the participants. It's a lot better than the version that takes place in a hotel in Italy where participants spend the days sitting around the hotel's swimming pool in next to nothing and then go to bed with their potential partners as soon as the evening is over.

And it's much much better than the show's "celebrity version", where we see the B list and reality show celebrities taking part just to get more publicity and stay in the public eye.

Tonight's programme showcases Danni, a 25-year-old 6-foot 1 high "woman", who is a makeup artist and model, whom the programme's organizers have paired with a 6-foot 8 bartender, Aiden. He says that at 6 foot 8 he can be classified as a "giant", but is he only joking? The jury is still out on that one. Good grief!

Danni, a 6 ft 1 makeup artist and model

Aiden, a 6 ft 8 (or is he just joking ???) bar manager

During the date, Danni reveals that "she" is a "transgender" and is considering taking the surgery. She is currently picking and choosing between various potential "flavours" of female sex organs.

Lois and I expect this to scare Aiden off, but he seems to be ok with it all - he himself turns out to be "pansexual" so we imagine that such relationships are all in a day's work for him, and quite routine, but that's something we are not entirely sure about.

For Lois and me it is interesting that at the beginning of the program Danni fools us completely - we are convinced she is a woman and she seems to have quite a feminine voice and figure. But as soon as she reveals that she is a "trans", we begin to see dozens of signs that she is actually a man.

Later on in the programme, Lois and I begin to see

signs that Danni is actually a man

My god, what a peculiar thing the human mind is !!!!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz !!!!!

Danish translation

09:30 Lois og jeg står op og er gået så småt med at forberede os på dagen, da min ven ”Magyar Mike” ringer på døren. Yikes, jeg har totalt glemt, at han skulle komme  i dag så vi kan genoptage vores ugentlige ”ungarsktime” – du godeste! Jeg er på toilettet og Lois dusker rundt i huset uden en trevl på kroppen. Yikes (igen) !!!! Hun smutter en slåbrok på og lukker Mike ind.

10:00 Mike og jeg snakker lidt. Jeg har ikke set ham i snart 3 måneder af en eller anden grund. Lois og jeg synes begge to, at han har ældes – han ser ud nu som en ”lille gammel mand”, lidt bøjet, og hans stemme er svagere, end før.

tilbageblik til 2017 : ”Magyar” Mike (til venstre) i lykkeligere tider

i Prag, Tjekkiet, sammen med sin barnebarn, Steven, og sin kone, ”Magyar” Mary

1998: (venstre til højre) mig, Lois og Mike på en restaurant i Szentendre, Ungarn

1994: mig (til venstre) og Mike på mit første besøg til landet. Jeg fremviser

en brugt ”udmærket medarbejder” medalje fra den kommuniste æra,

som jeg købte på et loppemarked i Pécs i det sydlige Ungarn

Mike har for nylig skiftet biler – selvom han klæber sig til Ford Fiesta som sit yndlingsmærke. Men han har altid været lidt af en nervøs chauffør, og han har stadig svært ved at køre i sin nuværende bil, og har svært ved at forstå kontrollerne på instrumentbrættet, siger han.

Han har i over et år haft problemer med huset ved siden af sit eget hus i den lille by Nailsworth. Hans nabo, Peter, stak af for 18 måneder siden og er totalt forsvundet, og Peters haven er blevet til en sand jungle. Mike har talt med kommunen og med politiet, men det lader til, at de har næsten ingen beføjelse til at gribe ind, når det kommet til en privat ejendom, medmindre en offentlig sundhedsfare opstår , hvilket er lidt irriterende for Mike.

Politiet i nogle amerikanske byer har flere optioner, tror jeg. Myndighederne og betjenter i Philadelphia ramte overskrifterne for 4 år siden, da de indbrød en lokal mands hus, som svar på rapporter om en mistænkelig mangel på aktivitet på adressen. Betjenter fandt snesevis af forsømte fantasifodboldhold i huset, en ejendom tilmeldt til en lokal mand, den 27-årige Grant Novak.

"Tidligere på dagen omkring kl 14:30 har vi fået fra boligen en række forladte rosters, der var i kritisk stand, vi kan ikke bestemme, hvor længe de er blevet siddet her, men vi har bevis for, at nogle af disse lineups ikke har har haft nogen opmærksomhed overhovedet siden uge 3, "sagde betjenten Keith Wade til reportere.

"Ejeren af disse hold ser ud til at have meldt sig til et foruroligende antal ligaer, uden at de har til hensigt at sætte den nødvendige tid og kræfter til at opretholde dem, hvorved gerningsmanden forlod dem alene i koldt blod. Med hensyn til selve hold har vi intet andet valg end at vente og se, om de viser tegn på forbedring i løbet af resten af sæsonen.”

Men tilbage til Mikes problem. Hvor bliver hans nabo Peter af?

Det lykkedes mig i fjor at finde Peter på LinkedIn-webstedet, der synes at være et slags netværk/database for professionelle mennesker. Han kategoriserede sig som konsulent i områder af landbrug og miljø i forbindelse med international udvikling, med en bachelorgrad fra Imperial College, London. Så han er ikke nogen spritter ha ha ha.

Jeg fandt Peter også på Facebook, selvom hans profilbillede er lidt uafslørende, for at sige mildt.

Peters gådefulde Facebook-billede. Men hvad holder han i højre hånd?

En dolk måske? Eller bare en banan? Det er juryen stadig ude om.

Jeg selv har to teorier:

(1)    Jeg ved, at Peter er et medlem af GreenPeace, de aggressive miljøaktivister. Min teori er, at han er gået ”offgrid” i forberedelse på en større terrorkomplot, for eksempel, at true med at eksplodere verden, medmindre hele planetens befolkning bliver veganer: jeg ser Peter som en slags Bond-skurk måske.

(2)    Peter bliver holdt fange af en nymfoman, måske en Bond-skurkinde. Sådanne ting sker, det er der ikke nogen tvivl om, og det er ikke bare en teenagedrengs fantasi – det er der ikke nogen tvivl om. I den antikke islandske saga jeg læser for tiden, som medlem af min ven Scillas U3A oldnordiske gruppe, bliver Hrut, sagaens helt, holdt fange af Gunnhilda, den norske kongemor, som låser ham (og sig selv) ind i sit soveværelse i 2 uger. Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!

Mike og jeg snakker lidt om vores familie og børnebørn og så omsider går vi i gang med at studere lidt ungarsk.

Mikes forstand på det ungarske sprog har forværres under vores 3 måneders ”pause fra studiet”. Han har svært selv med at oversætte ungarske tal til engelsk, hvilket er lidt bekymrende, men forhåbentlig vil hans præstation forbedres, så snart vi genoptager vores studier for alvor.

11:00 Mike skal af sted.  Så går Lois og jeg hen ind i landsbyen og smutter ind i det lokale postkontoret for at afsende to ”Peter Rabbit” børnemagasiner til Lily og Jessie, vores 5-årige tvillingebørnebørn i Perth, Australien. Bagefter gå vi videre til Waghornes, det lokale slagterforretning, for at købe kød. For første gang siden begyndelsen af foråret føles det virkelig som om vinteren rykker nærmere, med grå skyer, småregn og en smule slud i luften af og til.

13:00 Vi spiser frokost, og bagefter går jeg i seng og tager en gigantisk eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 15:30 og vi slapper af med en kop te og et stykke brød med hjemmelavet abricosmarmelade – yum yum!

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og bruger resten af aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn. De viser det seneste afsnit af ”First Dates”.

Dette show er Lois’ og min yndlings-datingshow, hvor deltagere går ud på en date og spiser på en special restaurant med en potentiel partner, som tv-kanalen har valgt til dem.

Programmet har i en vis grad et seriøst formål, dvs at finde mulige kompatible livspartnere til deltagerne. Det er meget bedre, end versionen, der spiller sig ud i et hotel i Italien, hvor deltagere bruger dagene på at sidde omkring hotellets swimmingpool i næsten ingenting, og går i seng med deres potentielle partnere, så snart aftenen er forbi.

Og det er meget meget bedre, end showets ”kendis-version”, hvor vi ser B-liste og reality show-kendisser deltager med det formål at få publicitet og at forblive i det offentlige øje.

Aftenens show fremviser Danni, en 25-årig 6 fods 1 høj ”kvinde”, en makeup-artist og model, som programmets organisatorer har parret med 6 fods 8 barmanager, Aiden. Han siger, at han på 6 fods 8 kan klassificeres som ”gigant”, men spøger han kun? Det er juryen stadig ude om. Du godeste!

Danni, 6 fods 1

Aiden, 6 fods 8 (eller spøger han kun???)

I løbet af daten afslører Danni, at ”hun” er en ”transkønnet”, og overvejer at få operationen. Hun er i gang med at vælge og vrage mellem afskygninger af kvindelige kønsorganer.  

Lois og jeg forventer, at dette vil afskrække Aiden, men han virker at være ok med det hele – han selv afslører sig at være ”panseksuel”, så vi formoder, at sådanne forhold er ofte på dagsordenen for hans vedkommende og helt rutinemæssige, men det er vi ikke helt sikre på.

For Lois og meg er det interessante, at Danni i begyndelsen af programmet, løber om hjørnet med os – vi er overbevist om, at hun er kvinde, og hun har en kvindelig stemme. Men så snart hun afslører, at hun er en ”trans”, begynder vi at se dusindvis af tegn på, at hun er en mand.

Lois og jeg begynder at se tegn på, at Danni faktisk er en mand

Du godeste, hvor er den menneskelige sind underlig!!!!

22:00 Vi går i seng – zzzzzzzz!!!!!