Thursday 6 June 2019

Today is one of the days when I feel I no longer have control of my life and that my life is controlling me. This afternoon our U3A Danish group will be holding its fortnightly  meeting here, and tomorrow Lynda’s U3A Middle English group will be holding its monthly meeting, and for the first time ever, I have not yet read a single line either of our Danish text or our Middle English text.

Lois says there are many urgent tasks in the garden that require action - the garden is Lois's hobby, not mine, but she cannot cope with many of the tasks because they require my increasingly weak muscle power. And besides all that, I have to go to a former work colleague's funeral today at 1:30 pm - yikes! Poor me!!!! But at least I'm not dead (yet).

Poor me (again) !!!!!

10:00 We clear up and vacuum all over the house. And I start browsing through the next 10 pages of our Danish crime novel, "The Further You Fall". Both Lois and I feel quite rusty when it comes to our Danish reading skills at the moment - the gap since our last group meeting has been a little too long (6 weeks), and it is incredible how much we have forgotten over that period.

10:45 Sarah, our youngest daughter living in Perth, Australia calls us on whatsapp. We talk a little with her and with her 5 and a half-year-old twin daughters, Lily and Jessie. The twins are very excited today because yesterday they saw "the real Gruffalo" in the city's "Heath Ledger" Theatre, along with many other young local schoolchildren.

Sarah and Francis are coming to the point where they can apply for a mortgage - they want to buy a piece of land in the Chittering area, just north of Perth, where they can get a house built:  a small house to begin with, but a house they can add extra space onto in the future. In the meantime, they plan to move from their current rental house to a cheaper, smaller rental house, so they will have enough money left to begin paying off the mortgage.

This is a big step, no doubt about it - they are buying a piece of Australia. For years, I thought they were not really serious about settling over there, and even after moving to Perth in December 2015, Lois and I continued to store many of their previous belongings in our garage - child car seat and the like, in case they moved back. But it’s really starting to look permanent now, I have to admit.

Flashback to April 2018: me (left) at a beach cafe in the Margaret River region,

Western Australia, along with Francis, Sarah, and the twins

Lois and I plan to visit them again in 2020 (for the 3rd time), but I don't know if we can continue to manage these periodic visits - it's not easy for us at our age to put it mildly.

However, the family still has a lot of problems over there - above all, Francis' physical health, back pain and knee pain: he is 54, 12 years older than Sarah. She has been booking him a few new appointments with specialists - therapists or the like.

12:00 We have lunch and afterwards I go to bed to take a short afternoon nap. I get up at 1 pm – I have to go to the funeral of one of my former work colleagues, Paul. He was 5 years younger than me, so the news of his death was a bit of a shock, to put it mildly.

I worked for more than 30 years in the same department as Paul, and I saw him regularly over the period, but I only saw him once after I retired in 2006. Lois and I accidentally bumped into him on the street in 2008 or so, when we were walking into town to have lunch at a local pub-restaurant and we chatted to him for 2-3 minutes. I didn't realise I would never see him again. I just sort of imagined he was going about town as usual and that I would be bound to bump into him again sooner or later.

He had a brilliant brain - a degree in mathematics at Cambridge, and he appeared in many television quiz programs: Fifteen to One, Countdown, and Only Connect. But I found out soon after I got to know him (circa 1974) that it was not always a good idea to ask him to do some sort of task in his area of ​​responsibility - maybe some little favour. And not a good idea to ask him to respond to a request for information, for example, because you would always have to wait a long time for him to do it. 

So better to ask somebody else, in other words!

But he had an incredible sense of humour, and a big talent for whimsy, no doubt about that. 

Poor Paul !!!

Paul and Sue - they married the same year

as Lois and me: 1972

I worked for 3 years in the USA (1982-85), and when we moved back to England in 1985, Paul took over my job over there so he and his family would have been there 1985-88. Today at the funeral, I chat a little with Sue, Paul's widow. She recalled that one of their two daughters once presented Princess Diana with a bouquet of flowers at the British Embassy.

Happy days !!!

As always, when they bring the coffin in, so difficult to imagine that the person you knew is really lying lifeless inside it, with the (in Paul's case mighty) brain switched off for ever. 

14:15 The funeral ends and I rush home to lead our Danish group's meeting. Lois and I feel very rusty, but the meeting goes better than expected, which is comforting. Lois offers members a slice of her birthday cake with their obligatory cup of tea. But we feel completely exhausted when the meeting ends at 4 pm. We are getting old, no doubt about that.

18:00 We do not have any energy left for cooking. We have one of the low-fat ready-made meals we bought at CookShop the other day.

We see a little television, an interesting documentary all about healthy and unhealthy lunches.

An entertaining and fun program, but we don't learn much that we didn't know before, I guess I have to say. But it is nice to be reminded to always get some carbohydrates (the size of one's fist, like a baked potato or the like) and proteins (the size of one's palm) plus of course fruit / vegetables. "Simples"!

Also that we must avoid wraps and bagels, and limit ourselves to bread - "simples" (again) !!!

Lois and I start complaining when we see Jimmy Doherty, the programme's host, flying to Japan to meet with sushi chefs and talk to them. "Not necessary", we comment. But it turns out that the Japanese sushi is much healthier than the sushi that is available in England: the Japanese have a much larger fish-to-rice ratio, it seems. Who would have guessed ha ha ha!

22:00 We collapse into bed - zzzzzzzzzz !!!!!

Danish translation

I dag er én af de dage, hvor jeg føler jeg ikke længere har styr på mit liv og at mit liv styrer mig. I eftermiddag holder vores U3A danske gruppe sit fjortendagsmøde hos os, og i morgen holder Lyndas U3A middelengelske gruppe sit månedlige møde, og for første gang nogensinde har jeg ikke læst en enkelt linje af vores danske tekst eller vores middelengelske tekst.

Lois siger, der er mange presserende opgaver i haven, der kræver handling – haven er Lois’ hobby, ikke min, men hun kan ikke selv klare mange af de opgaver, fordi de kræver min øgende svage muskelkraft. Og derudover skal jeg til en tidligere arbejdskollegas begravelse i dag kl 13:30 – yikes! Stakkels mig!!!! Men i det mindste er jeg ikke død (endnu).

Stakkels mig (igen) !!!!!

10:00 Vi rydder op og støvsuger overalt i huset. Og jeg begynder at blæse igennem de næste 10 sider af vores danske krimiroman, ”Dybt at falde”. Både Lois og jeg føler os ganske rustne, når det kommer til vores danske læsefærdigheder for tiden – mellemrummet siden vores seneste gruppemøde er været lidt for langt (6 uger), og det er utroligt, hvor meget vi har glemt over perioden.

10:45 Sarah, vores yngste datter, der bor i Perth, Australien ringer til os på whatsapp. Vi snakker lidt med hende og med hendes 5,5-årige tvillingedøtre, Lily og Jessie. Tvillingerne er meget begejstrede i dag, fordi de i går så ”den ægte Gruffalo” i byens ”Heath Ledger”-teater, sammen med mange andre unge skolebørn.

Sarah og Francis er ved at komme til det punkt hvor de kan ansøge om et realkreditlån – de ønsker at købe et stykke jord i Chittering-området, lidt nord for Perth, hvor de kan få bygget et hus: et lille hus til at begynde med, men et hus, de kan tilbygge ekstra rum i fremtiden. I mellemtiden planlægger de at flytte fra deres nuværende lejehus til et billigere, mindre lejehus, så de vil have nok penge tilbage til at begynde at afbetale realkreditlånbetalingerne.

Dette er et stort trin, ingen tvivl om det – de er ved at købe et stykke Australien. I årevis troede jeg, at de ikke var virkelig alvorlige om at slå sig ned derovre, og endda efter de i december 2015 flyttede til Perth, fortsatte Lois og jeg at opbevare mange af deres tidligere ejendele i vores garage – børnebilsæder og lignende, for det tilfælde, at de flytter tilbage. Men det begynder at se permanent ud, det må jeg indrømme.

tilbageblik til april 2018: mig (til venstre) på en strandcafé i Margaret River-regionen,

Western Australia, sammen med Francis, Sarah, og tvillingerne

Lois og jeg planlægger at besøge dem igen i 2020 (for 3. gang), men jeg ved ikke, om vi kan fortsætte med at klare disse periodiske besøg – det er ikke nemt for os i vores alder, for at sige mildt.

Imidlertid har familien stadig en masse problemer derovre – først og fremmest Francis’ fysiske helbred, smerter i ryggen og knæene:  han er 54, 12 år ældre end Sarah. Hun har booket ham et par aftaler hos specialister – terapeuter eller lignende.

12:00 Vi spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng for at tage en kort eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 13 – jeg skal til begravelsen af én af mine tidligere arbejdskollegaer, Paul. Han var 5 år yngre, end mig, så var nyheden af hans død lidt af et chok, for at sige mildt.

Jeg arbejdede i mere end 30 år i samme afdelingen som Paul, og jeg så ham regelmæssigt over perioden, men jeg har set ham kun en gang, siden jeg gik på pension i 2006. Lois og jeg stødte på ham tilfældigvis på gaden, da vi i 2008 eller deromkring gik ind i byen for at spise frokost på en lokal pub-restaurant, og vi snakkede med ham i 2-3 minutter. Jeg vidste ikke, jeg aldrig ville se ham igen.

Han havde en brilliant hjerne – en bachelorgrad i matematik på Cambridge, og han optrådte i mange tv-quizprogrammer:  Fifteen to One, Countdown, og Only Connect. Men jeg fandt ud af, snart efter jeg lærte ham at kende (ca 1974), at det ikke altid var en god idé, at bede ham om at klare en eller anden lille opgave i sit område af ansvar, eller måske gøre en eller anden  lille tjeneste, eller at bede ham om at svare på en anmodning om oplysninger, for eksempel, fordi man ville vente lang tid på, at han gør det. Men han havde en utrolig god sans for humor, ingen tvivl om det. Stakkels  Paul !!!

Paul og Sue – de giftede sig samme år,

som Lois og mig: 1972

Jeg arbejdede i 3 år i USA (1982-85), og da vi flyttede tilbage til England i 1985, overtog Paul mit arbejde derovre, så de ville have boet der 1985-88. I dag på begravelsen snakker jeg lidt med Sue, Pauls enke. Hun mindes om, at en af deres 2 døtre en gang skænkede princesse Diana en buket blomster på den britiske ambassade. Lykkelige dage !!!

14:15 Begravelsen slutter, og jeg skynder mig hjem for at styre vores danske gruppes møde. Lois og jeg føler os meget rustne, men mødet går bedre, end forventet, hvilket er rart. Lois tilbyder medlemmer en skive hendes fødselsdagskage med deres obligatoriske kop te. Men vi føler os helt udkørt, da mødet slutter kl 16. Vi bliver gamle, ingen tvivl om det.

18:00 Vi har ikke energi tilbage til madlavning. Vi spiser en af de fedtfattige færdigretter, vi forleden købte hos CookShop.

Vi ser lidt fjernsyn, en interessant dokumentarfilm, der handler om sunde og usunde frokoster.

Et underholdende og morsomt program, men vi lærer ikke meget, vi ikke vidste før, det må jeg nok sige. Men det er rart at blive mindet om, altid at få nogle karbohydrater (størrelsen af ens knytnæve) og proteiner (størrelsen af ens håndflade) plus selvfølgelig frugt/grøntsager. ”Simples”!

Også dét, at vi må undgå wraps og bagels, og begrænse os til brød – ”simples” (igen) !!!

Lois og jeg brokker os, da vi se Jimmy Doherty, programmets vært, flyve til Japan for at mødes med sushi-kokke og tale med dem. ”Ikke nødvendigt”, kommenterer vi. Men det viser sig, at japanernes sushi er meget sundere, end den sushi, der fås i England: den japanske har en meget større fisk-til-ris forhold, lader det til. Hvem ville have gættet ha ha ha!

22:00 Vi kollapser i sengen – zzzzzzzzzz!!!!!