Saturday March 16th 2024

Dear reader, have you heard about this new fashion for what younger people call "T-shirts"? 

Lois and I picked up on this fashion after reading the weekly column of one of our favourite editorial writers, press "mogul" T. Herman Zweibel, owner and publisher of Onion News, the influential American news website. Zweibel is mine and Lois's main source for keeping us up to date and "down with the kids" in a pleasantly oldy-worldy kind of a way, which we both find exhilarating, because Zweibel, funnily enough, is "more our age" than are many of today's editorial writers, we find.

Did you see this week's column, with its at-first-glance weirdly incomprehensible headline? But be patient, read on, and you'll find out what these mysterious "T-Shirts" are all about.

Mine and Lois's "Oracle", the  Great Zweibel, had been watching his great-grandson and his little friends, the children of some of Zweibel's servants, "cavorting in the courtyard dressed in peculiar short-sleeved tunics some of them embossed with unorthodox characters, [one of them] reading "Pokemon" and depicting an abominable yellow creature", a sight which inspired Zweibel to pick up his editorial pen. 

 one of the typical modern "t-shirts" of the kind being worn

by some of Zweibel's great-great-grandson's little friends

Zweibel writes:  "I asked Standish [Zweibel's butler and factotum - Ed] about this queer development in children's fashion. He explained that the children were wearing something known as a 'T-shirt', a popular, inexpensive mode of dress amongst the yeomanry which typically bears a name, phrase, or design conveying an irreverent attitude on the part of its wearer.

"A coarse practice, but endearing," I told Standish. "I would like a 'T-shirt' of my own. Go to the village T-shirtery and obtain one for me. I favour one that states, 'William Randolph Hearst [Zweibel's great 'nemesis', a rival publisher - Ed] Is A Lascivious Vulgarian, And You Mustn't Buy One Of His Cheap, Tawdry Scandal-Sheets, Even If Your Very Well-Being Depended Upon It.

"Unfortunately, a T-shirt of that opinion does not exist. However, Standish did obtain one for me which bore the cryptic inscription, 'Official Bikini Inspector'. I displayed it on my chest until the immense weight of the cotton fabric threatened to splinter my frail, antediluvian rib-cage. It was removed and hung upon my bed-post, so that I may gaze upon it always.

one of the typical new "t-shirts" of the sort that

Standish, press-mogul Zweibel's butler and factotum,

found on sale on a recent expedition to "the village",

and bought as a "starter-t-shirt" for press mogul Zweibel

We "old codgers", we pick up a lot of useful knowledge from Zweibel's weekly column, don't we! In these 3 humble paragraphs Lois and I learn not only about the new "t-shirts", but also about Pokemon, apparently the thing which today's kids call a "video game".

This is information we garner this morning just in time, because later we see a post mentioning Pokemon on social media about our own granddaughter Josie, who's 17, and for whom exciting things are happening at the moment, and so many possibilities are opening up for her, making Lois and me wish we were young again - no doubt about that!

Our 17-year-old granddaughter Josie (ringed) with fellow 

A Level Maths students from her high school near Guildford, Surrey,

photographed by the Thames in London. The group were attending

a "Maths In Action" day in the city

Yes, Josie and her classmates have been attending a special "Maths In Action" day in London. 

Her maths teacher writes, "The day consisted of a number of interactive sessions tailored for the A Level Maths curriculum and talks by experienced lecturers in the field. Dr Tom Crawford, University of Oxford discussed the mathematics behind the Pokémon video game, and the complex Capture formula needed to catch the Pokémon [my italics], whilst Dr Matt Pritchard spoke about the mathematics of optical illusion design; invisibility cloaks [my italics again!], ambiguous objects, and dimensional portals created by playing with geometry. Our girls came away excited to be studying such a dynamic subject.

Atta girl, Josie! And I wonder if these girls were all on what they call their "eye-pads" later in the day, well-and-truly "smashing it", as people seem to say today, with their online Pokemon tournaments. 

And, later still, were the girls all in BHS, we wonder, trying on these mathematical "invisibility cloaks", that Lois and I have never even  heard of, and didn't even know were "a thing" !!!! [the BHS chain closed all its stores several years ago, Colin. Just saying! - Ed]

one of the new "invisibility cloaks", that Lois and I

didn't even know were "a thing" !!!!

I wonder....!!! 

Josie's going to spend some time in Tanzania this summer. Her mother - our elder daughter Alison - is going to be taking Josie to get her travel vaccinations at Guildford, Surrey, next month.

After the vaccination, Ali is going to be visiting us for a few days - it'll be the Easter school holidays. And we're so grateful because Ali is going to be around to support Lois when I go into hospital for my hip operation, driving Lois around, and to and from the hospital etc. You would never guess how much of a relief that is to Lois and me - she's really going to be saving our bacon this time, and no mistake. 

And 77-year-old Lois and I can't help wondering - is this something of a "watershed" moment, the first major step in the transformation of our lives from being "supporters of our daughters" - grandchild-sitting, house-sitting, pet-sitting etc - into our new stage of life - being so-called "supportees" of our daughters, where it's their turn to keep us in business? Is it finally "payback time" perhaps?

flashback to 1990, us with our daughters Alison (15) and Sarah (13) 

seen here in the Forest of Dean, when we four were the "centre of the universe".

Is it now 'payback time', maybe, time for them to start looking after us?

I wonder....!!!!!

14:00 Lois and I get into bed for "nap time", as usual, and it's not long before, under the bedclothes, my Samsung is "diddling" like crazy, and Lois's Huawei is "beeping" under the bedclothes like nobody's business. You would not BELIEVE!

Yes, things are happening in our usually quiet county Worcestershire today, no question about that! And it's an indication of the seriousness of the story that the influential "Worcester News" website has put its ace junior cub-reporter Jack "Scoop" Rawlins, "on the case", and how!!!!

Rawlins writes, "Worcestershire County Council started work earlier this year to demolish the old County Buildings in Stourport, which were also used for a medical centre, a library and fire and police stations, before they were relocated.

"Now, the authority has confirmed that work has stopped on demolition work due to further bat surveys.  “We are currently awaiting the further bat surveys to be completed and a bat licence issued for the further demolition of the main building."

What a crazy county we live in!!! I mean, so what, if a few bats are still flying in and out of this old ruin. Surely they'll just find somewhere else to "nest" - they're not idiots you know! They're not "batty", are they - no pun intended!!!! [You obviously don't realise that bats are an endangered species in this country, Colin! And do me the favour of doing a bit more research before you write tomorrow's "post" - Ed]

Has everybody in Worcestershire just gone "bat crazy" ?????

I have to admit, however, that the demolition of the old county coroner's building can wait a bit longer, and that this is a relatively minor issue, compared to the "bat-craziness" going on elsewhere in the world, sad to say.

Today, Tünde, my Hungarian penfriend, has brought me details of the latest "bat-craziness" of their Prime Minister Viktor Orbán.

Lois and I always try to keep up with the news from Hungary, unpleasant though it often is. We tried to learn the language back in the 1990's and we visited the country several times in the 1990's and 2000's.

Flashback to 2002: in the small border town of Sopron, Hungary,
close to the Austrian border - (from left to right) "Magyar" Mike, Lois,

"Magyar" Mary (Mike's wife) and our Hungarian friend, Ibolya,

standing in the car park in front of the town’s theatre

This is the latest headline from Hungary that Tünde tells me about:

headline from the website telex.hu

Yet again, Orbán is angry with the EU. He says, "Brussels is not the first to have its eye on Hungary. We are a proud and self-respecting nation. Making us bow and submit, forcing us to keep quiet counts as a double victory, and it would certainly discourage other rebels from action. 

"In the past 500 years, every single empire has realised that oppression, blackmail, violence, Bach hussars and vatnik-wearing helpers [Hungarians who helped the Soviet army crush the 1956 Revolution and War of Independence and helped consolidate the new communist regime - Ed] will get them nowhere with us....

"We are the sand in the machinery, the thorn under the fingernail, we are the ones who will break the axe and the knife", Orbán continued. "In the history of Hungary, everyone realised that it is best for them to leave us alone. It seems that Brussels alone is unwilling to understand this."

"If we want to preserve Hungary's freedom and sovereignty, we have no choice but to occupy Brussels".

"In 1848 we stopped at Schwechat [site of a battle between Hungary and the Austrian Empire - Ed], this time we won't. We will march all the way to Brussels, and we will orchestrate change in the European Union ourselves. We're not foals [??? - Ed], you know, we're an 1100-year-old state, we're experienced and we know which gates to march on, and how to restructure the Union. It's time for the Council of Governors in Brussels to start trembling," 

I assume that this blustering is tongue-in-cheek, but is it? I wonder.....!

Orbán certainly feels a kinship with his "bat-crazy" friends around the world, and he feels he will go down in history as something of a trail-blazer in this kind of "bat-craziness".

He writes, "This year will be a turning point. The Slovaks are back on their feet, the Czechs are waking up, the Italians are waking up, the Dutch are back on their feet, and the Americans are also rebelling. This year will be a turning point: at the beginning of the year we were alone, by the end of the year we will be the majority in the world.

"Life can now be restored, we can usher in the great era of the Western nations, in which everyone can find their own purpose. Except for those who have erased themselves from history, who have broken their oath to serve their nation, who have stabbed their country in the back, who are laying mines in Brussels".

According to the Prime Minister, "ever since the days of Petőfi [revolutionary Hungarian poet 1823-1849 - Ed] there has been a moment in the life of each Hungarian generation and each young Hungarian when they had to decide whether they would follow the path of Hungarian truth or turn onto the avenue of the Soros empire, whether they would quarry stones or build cathedrals, whether they would join the factory line in Brussels or choose Hungarian freedom".

And he added, "The stakes of the 9 June European Parliament elections are whether you will stand up for your country or eat the bread of foreigners".

Delusions of grandeur or what?

I don't think it's tongue-in-cheek, this time, is it?!

And Lois and I are left wondering, "What IS this 'bread of foreigners', exactly?" Is it like, for instance, a baguette, or something similar, perhaps?

I think we should be told, don't you!

a typical, slightly menacing-looking Frenchman, carrying 

a bunch of baguettes in a paper bag

What a crazy guy to have as your Prime Minister. And I feel so deeply sorry for the Hungarians - maybe they could vote for somebody else next time? Please !!!!!!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!!