Everyone's cutting back at the moment, aren't they - have you noticed? Hopefully it's only a temporary phase, but we'll have to see!
And did you see the story this week? Even Hell has had to cut back on its proposed "extensions" to the new "Tenth Circle" to cope with the expected influx of hordes of additional middle and upper class sinners from the London area, it's been widely reported.
The Blockbuster Video-sponsored
circle, located in Nether Hell between the former eighth and ninth levels of
Malebolge and Cocytus, is expected to greatly alleviate the overcrowding
problems that have plagued the infernal underworld in recent years. The circle
is the first added to Hell in its countless-millennia history.
"A nightmarishly large glut of condemned spirits in recent years necessitated the expansion of Hell," inferno spokesperson Antedeus said. "The traditional nine-tiered system had grown insufficient to accommodate the exponentially rising numbers of Hellbound."
Adding to the need for expansion, Antedeus said, was the fact that a majority of the new arrivals possessed souls far more evil than the original nine circles were equipped to handle.
"Demographers, advertising executives, tobacco lobbyists, monopoly-law experts retained by major corporations, and creators of office-based sitcoms–these new arrivals represent a wave of spiritual decay and horror the likes of which Hell has never before seen," Antedeus said.
Despite the urgent need for expansion, the plan faced considerable resistance, largely due to the considerable costs of insuring construction projects within the Kingdom Of Lies. Opposition also came from Hell "purists" concerned about the detrimental effect a tenth level would have on the intricate numerology of Hell's meticulously arranged allegorical structure. In 1994, however, funding was finally secured in a deal brokered between Blockbuster CEO Wayne Huizenga and Satan himself.
Prior to the construction of the tenth circle, many among the new wave of sinners had been placed in such circles as Hoarders and Squanderers, Sowers of Discord, Flatterers and Seducers, Violent Against Art, and Hypocrites. Hell authorities, however, say that the new level, the Circle of Total Bastards, located at the site of the former Well of Giants just above the Frozen Lake at Hell's centre, better suits their insidious brand of evil.
Frigax The Vile, a leading demonic presence, is one of the most vocal supporters of the new circle.
"In the past, the underworld was ill-equipped to handle the new breed of sinners flooding our gates–downsizing CEOs, focus-group coordinators, telemarketing sales representatives, and vast hordes of pony-tailed entertainment-industry executives rollerblading and talking on miniaturized cell-phones at the same time", commented Frigax. "
But now," he added, "we've finally got the sort of top-notch Pits of Doom necessary to give such repellent abominations the quality boilings they deserve." [Source: Onion News]
10:00 Lois and I discuss the Tenth Circle story as we sit on the couch and have our coffee this morning.
As you know, Lois and I have recently downsized, so we can imagine the suffering that will be caused to Hell's residents if the shiny-new "Tenth Circle" is scrapped altogether as some doom-sayers fear.
Yes, in October 2022, Lois and I downsized from a largish family house for 4 in Cheltenham to this smallish house for 2 in Malvern, throwing or giving away half to three quarters of our "stuff".
These are some of the last pictures we ever took in the house we'd been living in, and accumulating stuff in, over the previous 36 years. Yikes !!!!
And today, as I struggle to make last-minute amendments to my so-called "presentation" ("English Language Developments 1774-2024"), the presentation I'll be making tomorrow to the local U3A History of English group, I have to do it all in the cramped conditions of my so-called "study", which is really our so-called "slimmed down" Guest Bedroom 2. And, as my sources, I've only got half the reference books I used to have, before we "downsized" in October 2022.
Poor me !!!!
16:00 But my sister Jill has all her downsizing work still to do, as I learn in one of our periodic "catch-up" phone-calls this afternoon. She's been living in a comfortably sized house in Cambridge for nearly 30 years, with her husband Peter, who sadly died a year or so ago.
She's recently had an offer accepted on a flat she's hoping to buy in Ipswich, but now she's got all the problems of downsizing and deciding what to do with "stuff" all on her own, and without benefit of a car. Luckily, after she moves she'll be very close to one of her 3 daughters, Lucy, which will be a nice feeling.
19:00 Today is a day for big news stories, that's for sure. Steve, our American brother-in-law, has emailed me with this story from Hampshire, England, that's "making waves" stateside.
What madness! And I think that if Lois and I were this woman's neighbours we could stand most of these noises, but definiely not "Islands in the Stream" sung by couples who think they're as good as Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers. But tell us what YOU think! Even if it was Dolly and Kenny themselves doing the singing, I don't think we'd put up with that malarkey for very long!
But there's a sadder piece of news today about the death of Richard Lewis, a character we had come to know and love from his appearances in Larry David's sitcom "Curb Your Enthusiasm". There's one of Lewis's catchphrases that's passed into our family's vocabulary whenever somebody suggests something we don't want to do - "I've got my own problems, I'm a recovering alcoholic...."
Fabulous stuff !!!!
Rest in peace, Lewis!
21:00 Lois and I unwind for bed on the couch this evening watching the first 2 episodes of a new sitcom, "Things You Should Have Done",
The sitcom is written by, and stars, Lucia Keskin, as dopey teenager Chi.
Chi's attempts to get a job after being unexpectedly orphaned, are predictably quite disastrous, as you can see in these scenes where her uncle tries to show her and her almost equally dopey cousin Lucas, how to be an Amazon "gig-economy" delivery person.
And we see a lot of Chi's "rookie errors" tonight, no doubt about that!
A lot of packages get squashed trying to go through the recipient's letter-box, another no-no, Lois and I would imagine.
Lois and I just can't see Chi making it as an Amazon delivery person, that's for sure! But let me know your assessment, won't you!
Chi's dopey cousin Lucas shows a bit more initiative, luckily. His parents are trying to have another baby brother or sister for him, but no luck so far.
Lucas's dad has now been asked to provide a sperm sample for the clinic to test, so he's locked himself in the family bathroom with a "girly" mag, and Lucas goes upstairs to find out how his dad is getting on.
"Dad" is quite a "woke" dad, however, and his problem is that he thinks that modern pornography is "a kick in the teeth for real women", so Lucas scratches around to see if he can come up with a solution to deal with his dad's "block".
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