Sunday March 17th 2024

Lockdown - self-isolating and all that malarkey. It seems like a bad dream now, doesn't it. And it's not often enough said but the sometimes draconian lockdown rules hit the local viral community the hardest.

Remember this 2020 headline in the local Worcestershire edition of Onion News?

The sudden outburst of virus unrest took us all by surprise, didn't it. And it was also a bit of a wake-up call for local county councillors, after opinion polls revealed that many viruses in the county routinely vote for the local ruling Conservative party, although it's rumoured that many have already switched to second-place party, the "break-away" Worcestershire Local Young Independent Conservatives Party (the WLYICP). 

Well, the forthcoming county council election will be an interesting one to watch, that's for sure, and all parties are currently courting the "virus vote" - just have a look at some of their election leaflets!

[That's enough whimsy! - Ed]

Well, those crazy days of lockdown are "revisiting" Lois and me at the moment, because we've elected to adopt a policy of occasional self-isolation and anti-social distancing, in view of my upcoming hip operation. Any hint of a germ could mean my operation gets postponed, which would be a pity, to put it mildly.

Our new "lockdown" measures will hit Lois hard, which is a pity, because she's more of a social animal than I am. She has gamely agreed, however, not to ask me to drive her to her church's two Sunday Morning meetings today, and instead she'll be taking part on line using the laptop with its zoom software on the kitchen table.

And I have to say, how adorable she looks, as always, this morning attired in her "meeting hat", with her tiny glass of red wine and morsel of bread within easy reach.  

Lois in her "meeting hat"

She's listening with pen poised because she's got to be ready to make notes: her church has given her the responsibility of emailing visiting preachers afterwards to thank them for coming, and she likes to include some appreciative notes about their Bible Hour addresses and their exhortations. She does this job faithfully every Sunday, whether she's listening to the preachers in person in the local Village Hall or online, as today. 

11:00 I'm attending my "pre-op" tomorrow afternoon at Worcestershire Royal Hospital, and so I spend much of today filling in their forms, with Lois's help. They want to know how high off the ground (in centimetres too, which Lois and I barely understand!!!) things like our beds, chairs and toilet seats are.

What madness!!!

And they ask me if I anticipate having any problems after the operation. Well, why don't THEY tell ME - what madness (again) !!!!!

Then there's the nightmare of parking in the hospital car-park, after getting a ticket at the barrier, and then paying for the parking in a machine before we leave. It's a hospital Lois and I don't know, because we've only been living in this new-build home in Malvern since October 2022, after downsizing from our previous house in Cheltenham, where we'd been living for 36 years.

Parking charges at the county's 3 hospitals are absolutely outrageous, by the way. 

Just saying!!!

What a crazy world we live in !!!!

I also realise that we haven't got any chairs with arms, and I don't need them at the moment just for getting out of a chair, thank you very much! But will I need one when I'm in my "recuperation phase"? I think I should be told, don't you? 

Anyway, just in case, I decide to order one from IKEA - the BINGSTA. If we like it we'll order a second, so that we'll have a "Darby and Joan" matching pair, and I think we'll go for the "yellow" option. They look comfy, but we'll see!

Yes, I know "BINGSTA" sounds like the name of a 1930's hip-hop 'croonsta"-style 'rapper', but I'm just going to have to put up with the predictable jibes I'm sure to get from our more "waggish" neighbours, at least until my "rehab" phase is over and done with. 

My comfort comes first haha!

21:00 We wind down for bed with another of New Yorker John Wilson's fascinating and invaluable guides on the best ways to negotiate this crazy modern world of ours.

Watching sports is always a big problem, isn't it. And what I like about John Wilson's "How To" guides is that he's so good at defining typical modern problems, particularly for those of the male-but-not-sporty "persuasion", and I just "lap up" his advice and guidelines every time!

First, Wilson explores possible root-causes for the modern non-sporty man's malaise. 

I wonder....!

However, if you asked, I would say that the main problem with tonight's programme in John Wilson's otherwise excellent series is that he "dismisses" the big-sport watching problem a tad too quickly - Lois and I don't think he's sufficiently "invested in it", but what do YOU think?

Wilson kind of gives up on baseball after 10 minutes, and spends the rest of this 30-minute programme on some of the more unusual sports that non-sporty men often become obsessed by - like "competitive vacuuming" or "competitive hoovering" as we call it in the UK. 

By tradition, round 1 is for the mini-hoovers, round 2 is for cannister hoovers, and round 3 is for the uprights, as I expect you know.

And now, suddenly comes John Wilson's "lightbulb moment", and for any non-sporty man, it's a total joy to see his satisfaction.

All in all, a fascinating study of the problem of the non-sporty male, a problem that for too long has been "swept under the carpet" - no pun intended incidentally !!!!

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!