Tuesday March 26th 2024

My hip operation - it's only 8 day away now, but I've got to start planning my two-month "recuperation", or my "rehab" as I'm calling it - "rehab" sounds so much cooler than "recuperation", doesn't it. "Recuperation" sounds really lame. [A "rehab" isn't really the same thing, though, is it, Colin! - Ed]

During my "recupe", I won't be able to drive for 6 weeks or so, or hop into the bath either - two of my "top ten" activities sadly!!! So there are now 2 empty spaces in my Top Ten, and I'll have to move up two from my "Top Twenty" that have been "bubbling under" - hat-buying, maybe? 

I wonder....!

And the planning for what-I-call "my rehab" starts today with an unscheduled mid-morning visit from Worcester Hospital orthopaedic nurse Sarah - did you see the story?

Disappointingly, although I had earlier stressed that it was my "rehab", and not my "recupe", when I was speaking earlier  to  up-and-coming young junior "cub" reporter James "Scoop" Connell from Worcestershire News,  they didn't print that in the final version - lack of space perhaps, or simple human error? I think I should be told.

A pity, and a missed opportunity, and it means that I can't look forward to being the follow-up focus of exciting stories like these from the States:

It is a bit disappointing, admittedly, to need little "aids" to help me wash or get in the bath with during my two months of "rehab". 

On the plus side, however, at one point when she was taking me through my "moves", Nurse Sarah did say to me "Not many men your age can do that, Colin", which was nice to hear. I ask her to put that in writing or at least issue me a certificate, but she claimed that it was "more than my job's worth". 

A pity, and another missed opportunity.

13:00 And if that malarkey with Orthopaedic Nurse Sarah this morning were not enough, this afternoon we have to drive down to Gloucester for my annual "pacemaker check", and we don't get home till about 4pm. What madness !!!!!

Lois and I wait patiently for my annual check-up

in the "waiting area" of Gloucestershire Royal Hospital

16:00 We arrive home at last. What a day! And today is also my 78th birthday, which I've almost forgotten about, in all the medical mayhem that the day has brought with it. 

Oh dear!!!! Flashback to1950: my 4th birthday party - back row (left to right) 

Roger Lowe, me; front row: Alison something, my sister Kathy and Jackie Rees.

My mother told me the "photographer" was making everybody nervous, 

and it shows - what a madness it all was !!!

This morning I had opened some of my presents, like this shirt from my dear elder daughter Alison in Headley, Hampshire.

flashback to this morning: I open my birthday presents, 

including this shirt from our elder daughter Alison, who lives

in Headley, Hampshire with Ed and their 3 teenage children

Now it's 4 pm at last, and our "afternoon tea" time. And Lois lets me have a bit of a birthday treat when I enjoy the very last slice of my Colin the Caterpillar Cake (the original M&S version), which is nice.

Lois helps me to the very last piece of my birthday treat, the only remaining

slice of my Colin the Caterpillar Cake (original M&S version)

flashback to Saturday: my Colin the Caterpillar Cake, seen here

in happier times, before any of it has been eaten yet -

Lois and I pictured here having pre-birthday tea with our younger daughter 

Sarah, and her and Francis' 10-year-old twins Lily and Jessica

What I'm calling "my real birthday" is postponed till tomorrow, when Lois and I have a lunch booked at Malvern's oldest pub, the 16th century "Bluebell Inn", followed by afternoon "nap time", so that bit's all good, no question about that. 

21:00 We wind down for bedtime on the couch with this week's edition of "QI XL", the comedy quiz.

There's a lot about umbrellas in tonight's programme, and presenter Sandi Toksvig, the UK's favourite Dane, starts things off with a bang, by posing this "doozy" of a question.

What a conundrum! It becomes apparent during the discussion that the Pope isn't dead - not yet, at least, but that his umbrella will only be opened when he is dead, and before his successor is elected. 

It's a ceremonial umbrella, called the umbraculum, a symbolic red and gold striped umbrella, which, in a tradition going back at the least to the 13th century, goes on display at the Vatican only when there's an "interregnum", a gap between one pope dying or abdicating, and another one taking his place. It's meant to be a reassuring sign of continuity or stability.

And, talking of umbrellas, who knew that the Duke of Wellington, the British general, during his military campaigns against Napoleon, used to get irritated by the large numbers of his men who always wanted to take umbrellas with them when they went into battle? It was clearly a big problem, because Wellington had to set out standing orders before the Battle of Waterloo (1815), saying that "umbrellas will not be opened in the presence of the enemy".

the Duke of Wellington, commanding the British Army

at the Battle of Waterloo (1815)

What a crazy world they lived in, in those far-off days. And how on earth could we possibly have beaten the French so convincingly, with such an army of rather "poncey" men who didn't want to get their uniforms ruined in the event o any spell of wet weather? I think we should be told, don't you?

The umbrella might well have been a lethal weapon in the skilled hands of John Steed of the Avengers, but it isn't much of a match for a musket is it. Be reasonable!!

John Steed (Patrick Macnee), showing his umbrella-fighting skills

in the long-running TV series "The Avengers" (1961-69)

And Lois and I didn't know, either, that in the traditional game of "what animal do you think that that cloud up there looks like", one particular animal has always been the favourite. Somebody from the Cloud Appreciation Society recently discovered that, of the many photos submitted to the society by cloud-lovers, the vast majority were labelled "elephant". 

It turns out that there's a scientific reason for that. 

Sandi says, "This feature may also explain why ancient Hindus, for example, believe that cumulus clouds were created by elephants. In the legend, there is a sky god called Indra who rides a giant white elephant, 'the elephant of the clouds'.

the Hindu god Indra, seen here on his white elephant

Adds Sandi, "And after the dry season, the theory is that the elephant uses the trunk to draw water from the underworld into the cloud, so that Indra can make rain again."

the Hindu god Indra, seen here relaxing with his 

long-term "squeeze", Ahalya, wife of the sage Gautama

Fascinating stuff !!!!  [If you say so! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!