Saturday November 8th 2025 "Have YOU been visited by any ill omens today? Check your 'Harbinger Handbook' haha!"

Yes, friends, have YOU spotted any ill omens today or perhaps the odd harbinger of doom? 

Think back - my medium-to-long suffering wife Lois and I always note evil omens down in our diaries whenever we spot one. And we've found that the safest thing, having seen an omen is always to stay in bed till the omen "expires" (usually after 24 hours according to the Harbinger Handbook - available from all good booksellers haha!)

Not everybody is as cautious as we are, however, according to this morning's Onion News. Here's the article (Onion News page 94 if you want 'chapter and verse' !!!)

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!

And by coincidence,, Lois and I discover a possible new omen this morning, on our daily walk, which today takes us through lovely Radford Park, just a few hundred yards from our home here in semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire. It's just a 'candidate for omen', at the moment, but we've sent details to the people who publish the Harbinger Handbook - we managed to squeeze the whole experience onto a postcard, but we're expecting a reply within the decade, according to the Handbook's rules, so watch this space!

some classic "harbingers of doom"

It's all a bit spooky, really, because our walk starts off normally, as we stride through the park admiring the autumn colours, with just the usual robins and wrens and the odd little rogue nuthatch coming up on my phone's shiny new 'merlin' app, which identifies any birds heard singing.

Then "it" happens - we see a sparrowhawk, yes, a sparrowhawk, a small bird of prey, and it isn't just us what sees it [sic] (!), but a woman with a dog and a nice elderly Scottish couple see it too, swooping and diving with its characteristic "flap-flap-glide" pattern of flight, looking for small birds to gobble up for its lunch (!). 

I try to get a picture of it, but fail, and the sparrowhawk, like most sensible birds of prey, doesn't sing when it's hunting, for obvious reasons (!), so it doesn't register on my phone's shiny new 'merlin' app, which is a pity.

captured "for the record" - the moment we saw a sparrowhawk in Radford Park [not shown]

[Is that all you two 'noggins' have done today, Colin? Taken a walk in the park just before lunch, and allegedly spotted a bird that you didn't manage to get a photo of? - Ed]

Well, no, seeing as how you ask! I also make my way upstairs with my characteristic "flap-flap-glide" movement (!), and pay our monthly electricity bill online, while Lois finishes planting her shiny new wallflowers, so once again, it's busy busy busy!

while I fly upstairs to pay a bill online with my characteristic "flap-flap-glide" movement (!),

Lois goes outside to finish planting her shiny new wallflowers in our tiny back garden

Busy busy busy !!!!!

Also today, although a bit tired after our exertions (!), Lois and I also have a lively discussion about what this morning's obvious 'omen of doom', the sparrowhawk, could possible mean. A spot of indigestion perhaps? Or a fine for an overdue library book? Something that counts as "nasty", anyway, in our arguably undeserved, "overly smug, overly cosy little lives" ????

We obviously need an expert, to help us interpret the sparrowhawk omen. The technical term for the interpretation of bird phenomena used to be called ornithomancy, but would you believe it, according to Yellow Pages, there isn't one practising ornithomancer in the whole of East Hampshire (!). 

What a crazy world we live in!!!

a typical local ornithomancer, who foretells his neighbourhood's

 future by studying the flights of local birds

Ornithomancy has a long history, going back at least three millennia - it was first practised by the Hittites in Anatolia (in modern day Turkey) in the 13th and 14th century BC, and also, routinely, by the ancient Greeks and Romans. 

A famous example occurs in Homer's epic the Odyssey, where an eagle appears three times, flying to the right, with a dead dove in its talons: this omen was interpreted as foreshadowing the wandering Odysseus returning home after the Trojan War and killing all of the 24 men who, in his absence, had been trying to get into bed with his wife Penelope. So a pretty specific one, as far as omens go haha!

an early, ancient Greek, example of the art of ornithomancy, foretelling the future

by observing the flight of birds: an eagle with a crow in its talons predicts the

return of Odysseus after the 10-year Trojan War, finding 24 "suitors", in

his absence all trying to get into bed with his wife - what madness !!!!

It's interesting that a universal "code of practice" for ornithomancers was never hammered out in the ancient world, which was a pity.

Just like in today's world, where in most countries, it's considered normal to drive on the right, whereas in other countries you have to drive on the left, no universal protocols were ever established for ornithomancers, which was a pity. 

In ancient Greece, the ornithomancer would always face north, and birds seen on his (or her) right would count as favourable signs. In Rome, however, ornithomancers by tradition always faced south, which led to a lot of hilarious mix-ups, you would not believe!

Remember how Sweden one day suddenly changed from driving on the left to driving on the right, back in the 1960's, and the result was total chaos!

So called "H Day" [Swedish; Dagen H] many years later featured in a question on mine and Lois's favourite TV quiz, Only Connect, which tests lateral thinking. Can you see the connection between these four "things"?

Yes, you've guessed it! They're all examples of "changing sides".

Popular TV presenter-duo Ant and Dec "changed sides" for a joke, when appearing together on an April 1st broadcast of their highly-rated TV show; Sweden, which like the UK was unconquered by Napoleon and thereby still driving on the left changed to the norm that day in1967; Romania changed sides from the Axis powers to the Allies during World War II; and Natalie Elphicke was the Conservative MP for Dover, who crossed the floor of the Commons to join Labour in May of last year.

Bad call, Natalie, in view of Labour's subsequent fall in the polls - perhaps you should have consulted an ornithomancer, before crossing that floor haha !!!!

flashback to May 2024: Labour Party leader Sir Keir Starmer

welcomes former Tory MP Natalie Elphicke to the Labour "fold"

What a crazy world we live in !!!!

Knowing Britain, I expect our British ornithomancers are out of step with everybody else in the world, and probably here they face east or west, it wouldn't surprise me (!).

However, luckily we don't need an expert to interpret today's sparrowhawk in Radford Park, because a quick glance at my phone calendar for next week reveals all - that bird is simply being a harbinger of what's going to be a horrendously busy week, with something to do literally every day from Monday 10th to Friday 14th. What madness !!!!

our "annus horribilis" this coming week, with something to do

literally every day from Monday 10th to Sunday 16th

- what utter utter utter madness !!!!!!

The worst thing is that it's a "double language" week, because it's our U3A Intermediate Latin group meeting on the Monday, and on Thursday, the fortnightly online meeting of the local U3A Intermediate Danish group, which Lois and I run "for our sins" (!).

It isn't often that both groups meet in the same week, but when it does, it's absolutely horrendous, you would not believe !!!! So that sparrowhawk really was a "harbinger of doom", and with a vengeance!!!

And Lois and I realise, with a start, that we'd better begin doing a bit of work on those "rules for the subjunctive" that we've so far so studiously been avoiding - yikes !!!!!!

Luckily there'll be a much brighter end to the week, when we welcome one of Lois's oldest friends from Oxford, Jen, who'll be staying with us for a few days.

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!!!