Danskcolin: Thursday November 27th 2025 "Friends, are YOU secretly ugly? Well, fear not, a solution's in sight!!!"

Yes, Friends, are YOU secretly ugly? Well, don't despair, find somebody else that's ugly and you'll instantly start to feel better - at least according to the big "splash" in this morning's local Onion News for East Hampshire. Here's the story, lightly edited by Yours Truly for content and style, as per usual !!!!

Poor Martindale!!!! And poor Reilly - let's not forget her !!!! But at least they've got each other now, so fingers crossed!!!!!

And reading that Onion News story here today in leafy Liphook, Hampshire my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I forgive ourselves for indulging in a slight smirk or two around the chops-area !!!!

We've been spending the afternoon online, expanding on the theme of 'ugliness', while trying to control another rowdy fortnightly meeting of our local U3A "Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers" group, which we manage, "for our sins" (!!!!)

me and my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois,

trying to control one of our rowdy fractious meeting

of the local U3A "Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers" group

Our group is currently making steady, if somewhat painful (!), progress working its way through our current Danish whodunnit, "Judaskysset" (The Judas Kiss), by Danish crime-writer Anna Grue.

the Danish murder mystery "Judaskysset" (The Judas Kiss)

that our little group is working its way through,

another 'whodunnit' by Danish writer Anna Grue (left0

The story's all about a young Danish scammer, Jay, whose specialty is to contact menopausal Danish women who've just won, like, a billion Danish kroner (more probably!!!), on the EU lottery. After first "getting into their knickers", Jay then "gets into their bank accounts" and then clears off, spending time on the beaches of Goa, India, and waiting for his next victim to pop up on his "radar" (!). Simples!

And the story plays well with our little group's key demographic, which is, menopausal East Hampshire women who fantasise about going to bed with a handsome young Dane. The demographic seems to make up a surprisingly numerous section of society in these parts, and one which, at election time, local politicians should ignore at their peril haha!!!

Yes, you'll know from the above excerpt from the book, if you speak Intermediate Danish (!), that young scammer Jay only turns down a potential menopausal victim if she's already got a "squeeze" [Danish: kæreste], or is a lesbian [Danish: lesbisk], or if she's "ugly as sin" [Danish: grim som arvesynden], which sounds like a good 'game plan', to our members at least (!).

a typical Danish EU lottery ticket

In English, we say that somebody is "as ugly as sin", but the Danish expression, "grim som arvesynden", literally means "ugly as original sin", which sparks off an interesting debate during this afternoon's online group meeting, as to what "original sin" actually means. Lois, who's a regular church-goer, thinks it may be something to do with what Adam and Eve were doing in the Garden of Eden, but she's not sure, because she thinks it's probably just "something that the Catholics do" (!). What madness !!!!!

And, at this point in our meeting, it makes a nice break from our studying, when Jeanette, our group's only genuinely Danish member, breaks into an impromptu rendition of the old 1995 Meatloaf hit "Original Sin".

(left) Jeanette, a long-time Meatloaf fan, and our group's only genuinely

Danish member, and (right) the song Jeanette sings this afternoon,

Meatloaf's 1995 smash-hit, "Original Sin"

Meatloaf has an interesting "take" on the concept of "Original Sin". Apparently the guy has committed all the conventional sins, the ones that everybody commits, and he's looking desperately for an original sin that nobody's thought of before, but without success, apparently, so far, at least (!).

Poor Meatloaf !!!!!!

And if YOU have any ideas for an original sin that nobody's ever thought of before, send it to me, and I'll pass it to Jeanette for onward transmission to the great man himself - postcards only haha!!!! [Bit late for that, he died 3 years ago, Colin. Just saying! - Ed]

20:00 After "tea", Lois and I collapse on the couch, exhausted by our afternoon trying to control our rowdy online "Intermediate Danish" group members.

Me and Lois, collapsed on the sofa after another busy day

[You don't really know what "busy" means, do you, Colin! - Ed]

Plus, I've been on the computer half the day trying to sort out our finances - 11 months after moving to Liphook, we've at last sold our old home in Malvern, Worcestershire, and I've got to figure out how to pay back at least part of the gigantic "bridging loan" we had to take out to pay for our current home here in Liphook. I also have to work out how to claim back from His Majesty's Revenue and Customs (HMRC) the extra stamp duty we've had to pay, as alleged "fat cat" owners of two properties. What a crazy world we live in!!!!

(left, centre) our old home in Malvern, Worcestershire, which we finally sold last week,

after 11 months, and (right) our current home in Liphook, Hampshire - what madness !!!!!

We decide to relax and wind down for bed by watching another crazy episode of the Channel 5 series, "Secrets of the Royal Palaces", while keeping an ear open for our latest Amazon purchase - 'his and hers' electric toothbrushes, which our dentist pressed on us yesterday, and some room thermometers to check whether we're warm enough. Well, we are both 79, you know, even though we're unquestionably "marvellous for our age" haha (!).

Isn't it fun watching, on our phone, the Amazon delivery guy wending his way through Liphook, and almost wanting to shout at him if he makes a wrong turning - and, one day, technology will enable us to do just that, I firmly believe, but for the moment we have to stifle our frustration and just "bite our tongues" (not literally!!!)

It's better than "telly", though, isn't it haha !!!!

while watching TV on the couch, we keep half an eye on our phones,

(left) as the Amazon delivery guy follows his laborious, and sometimes

ill-advised (!) route over to our address, to drop off our parcel (right)

By contrast to our Amazon driver's crazy route to our house, the antics of our Royals and their 'lackeys', in their grand palaces, seem almost sensible, which is hard to believe !!!

Lois and I didn't realise that the christening of Princess Charlotte at Sandringham Palace in 2015 caused a bit of 'kerfuffle' at the time, to put it mildly! It was a big occasion, because Charlotte is the first female royal to benefit from new rules which make females equal to males, when it comes to the succession. So Charlotte is third in line for the throne, after her father Prince William, and her elder brother, Prince George.

We learn tonight that little Charlotte was meant to be baptised in the Honiton Lace christening gown that had been used by royalty for generations. However, the original gown, which was over 100 years old, had been used so many times, since Queen Victoria's reign, that it was beginning to look more than a little "worse for wear". Oh dear!!!

So a new gown had to be substituted, while still looking as if it might have been over 100 years old.