Friday November 14th 2025 "Do YOU live next to an 'expert' - or at least have his phone number?!!!!'

Yes, friends, it's handy to have some kind of 'expert' in your personal phone-book - you never know when you'll need one! File him (or her!) under E, so you can lay your hands on him (or her) whenever you have the need (!).

And if he (or she) turns out not to the right sort of expert for your problem, don't despair, because the chances are his (or her) "squeeze" is also an expert in something else, because "similars attract", to quote the old truism!!! And if they ever have children, those children are statistically likely to be experts too, by the laws of genetics, which means that between them, they can cover most "issues", which is handy.

a typical group of experts, chatting about something or other

One case in point is local expert James 'Jim' Bradley, who at first sight, seems to have a not-very-useful specialty - whales, but who has a wife who, true to form, is also an expert, which effectively 'doubles' their usefulness as a couple. 

Did you see their story, plastered all over page 94 of this morning's local Onion News for East Hampshire? If you missed it, here's the story in full, lightly edited by Yours Truly, for content and style, and facts (!). [That's enough exclamation marks in brackets (!) - Ed]

Scientists, eh!!! 

But the story brings a bit of a chuckle to the faces of me and my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois this morning, here in rural, semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire.

my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and me - a recent picture

"But why that chuckle on your faces?", I hear you cry. [Not me - I've already given up on this post, and I'm propping up the bar at my 'local' (!) - Ed]

Well, seeing as how you're obviously "gagging" to know (!), Lois and I, for the next few days, well, we're having a real-life expert actually staying with us, our old friend Jen from Oxford, whom Lois in particular has known since early childhood. We even went on holiday with her once, with a group of other friends, to the Isle of Wight, back in 1969, would you believe!

(top) Yours Truly (centre) with friend Paul, and Jen, who's leaning on her old

white Oxford Mini-Traveller, at Ryde IOW, in the queue for the ferry back to the mainland,

and (below) Lois and me, both 23 and looking slightly "gauche" and distinctly "awkward", 

but happy to come along for the "ryde" - no pun intended !!!!!!

Jen's a real expert, and not in something essentially 'totally useless' like whales or rats (as far as I know!!!!). Jen's special field is the most useful specialty that there is, particular for Lois and me, who, now, aged 79 and counting, are fully-paid-up members of Britain's increasingly influential "old codger" community, to put it mildly!!!

flashback to 2023: us in a queue of, like, a billion other 'old codgers' - more, probably -

waiting to get our NHS winter flu-and-COVID jab, and (right) last month 

at the local U3A coffee morning - Lois centre in the pink coat

You may have guessed already, but yes, Jen's field of expertise is "old age" itself: and old age is something she's most regally mastered, to put it mildly! Somehow she's managed to be living with her son, who gives her 24/7 IT-support; plus, she's got a daughter living just a quarter of a mile away up the road, who's a full-time GP; and another son not much further away, who's a dab hand at DIY. 

What more do you need in your old age? "Sorted!!!!", I think, is the expression you're looking for !!!!

Or maybe it's just "Kudos, Jen !!!" 

And I can see a book coming up, a book just waiting to be written, and it should sell well, particularly among Britain's ever-increasing ageing population. A 'no-brainer' and a real 'money-spinner', if ever there was one !!!! I've even done some rough attempts at the jacket cover - this one's my best so far, but your views welcome - postcards only !!!!!

my suggested book jacket, but your views welcome - postcards only !!!!

Jen likes going for walks, and is looking forward to being in leafy Liphook for the weekend, and coming with us, "trudging" through some of our favourite 'haunts' with us, maybe? 

Unfortunately, however, it looks like the weather may not be cooperating, which is a pity. 

What a crazy country we live in !!!!! But we'll see - they've been wrong before!!!! [You don't say! - Ed]

Well, Jen arrived here about 3pm - Lois and I had just got out of bed at the end of "statutory nap-time", and I believe that, since that moment, the three of us have pretty much been talking non-stop about "the good old days". 

Will we have nothing further to say, tomorrow and Sunday, during the rest of Jen's visit? I very much doubt it, because "there's plenty more where that came from", and "in spades", to put it mildly!!!

Old people, eh!!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:30 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!