Yes, Friends, NEVER try being "your true self" - whatever that means (!). Especially with the opposite sex!
Local man Marc Scanlon tried it this week, with predictable results, and his sad story is detailed - and in detail, if that makes sense (!), in this morning's local Onion News for East Hampshire - turn to page 94, or if you're feeling lazy just read Yours Truly's lightly edited version right here!
Reading his story this morning, however, brings a wicked smile to the flushed faces of me and my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois, to put it mildly!
We sympathise with Scanlon's date, Barbara, of course, who called her date with Scanlon "one of my worst ever", but honestly we think Barbara doesn't know she's born. She should have the totally horrendous week that Lois and I are going to be having, here in our lovely home in semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire this week.
which this morning takes us through nearby Radford Park
Yes, this coming week is going to be horrendous, and I can't repeat that too often !!!!
[Not on my watch you can't! - Ed]
You see, today and tomorrow Anglia Windows are coming to replace 7 of our windows, when the forecast temperature is only going to be in the low 40's F (about 5C), with persistent drizzle. I've also got my Intermediate Latin for Old Codgers class tomorrow, we've got the dentist on Wednesday, our Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers class is on Thursday, and then on Friday we've got an appointment with "Toes Woman" Zoe, our chiropodist.
So, as you can see, this coming week is looking like a total nightmare, to put it mildly!!!!
What a crazy world we live in !!!!!
our "weekus horribilis" - pardon my Latin !!!!
Our big job today is to prepare for the window guys coming tomorrow by moving into our guest bedroom (1) the house's window blinds, (2) any beloved possessions that the window guys could damage, and (3) anything embarrassing that could sully our reputation as a clean-living couple (!). However, we make a total mess of the job by going for a walk this afternoon, and then coming back and spending too long in bed - what madness!!!
we spend too long in bed this afternoon, and then have to go rushing
round putting anything precious or embarrassing into our guest bedroom
in preparation for the window replacement guys coming tomorrow and Tuesday
- yikes !!!!!
Well, we are 79, and when you're 79, and you've got to 'go', well, you've just got to 'go', that's for sure !!!!
It's something that even ageing angler-pals Paul Whitehouse and Bob Mortimer can agree on, in tonight's programme in their current "Gone Fishing" series, as becomes clear from their conversation when trying to catch a carp or two in a Welsh river.
But leaks and leeks eh! What a crazy language we speak !!!!!
Will this do?
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!
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