Danskcolin: Thursday January 29th 2026 "So, local man Josh is finally wed! But strange reception, to put it mildly!!!!"

So! Local man, Josh, the so-called "eternal bachelor", has finally got married, breaking a few hearts locally, I'm sure! But what a reception after the ceremony! Did YOU read about it?

Onion News has more!!!!

Poor bride !!!!!!

Reading Josh's story this morning, however, here in semi-bucolic Liphook, Hampshire, brings a kind of an ironically distorted face to the smiles of both me and my wife Lois, to put it mildly!!!!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

Brides can be seductive, there's no doubt, but, then, so can cake, that's for sure!

However, today, I didn't expect to be "breaking my diet" quite so early in the diet - Day One in fact, would you believe!!! - when Lois and I meet up with our 50-year-old daughter Alison for a "catch-up", in nearby Haslemere, just over the county line in Surrey. Unfortunately, within minutes of walking into Hemingway's with Alison for a coffee, the waitress presses me to a whopping slice of her coffee and walnut cake (not literally!!!), after she sees me eyeing it lasciviously under the counter, would you believe, and the rest is history, sob sob!!!

The new diet starts tomorrow haha !!!!

(left) us in Hemingway's, Haslemere this morning, for a "catch-up" with our

50-year-old daughter Alison, and (right) the scene at the counter,

after Ali offers to treat her "old codger" parents, and pay the bill, which is nice!

All in all, not a good day for mine and Lois's 2026 "diet plan", when you factor in, also, an afternoon in bed.

And after all today's indulgence, there's no doubt that Lois and I are looking a bit shamefaced, when Ali calls round to our house at tea-time to pick up her son Isaac (15), who goes to school near us in Liphook. Isaac occasionally does some of his homework on our kitchen table after school, while waiting for his mum to pick him up and take him home.

And today it's also a good opportunity for Ali to see, finally completed, the thousand-piece Jane Austen-themed jigsaw that she gave us for Christmas.

flashback to Christmas: we open Ali's Christmas present to Lois, and see

the jigsaw's thousand pieces for the first time, making a promising start on it

- happy days!!!!

It's taken us a month to finish the jigsaw, admittedly, but, as we explain, that's partly because of some unexpected "anomalies", as we call them, in the puzzle: some of the Austen characters featured in the instruction leaflet don't actually appear in the puzzle, and some additional "mystery" ones are unexpectedly included.

I have hypothesised that some of Austen's characters were off sick on the day of the original painting, and that perhaps, also, some "prankster" 21st century bystanders "photobombed" the scene, adding to the confusion, maybe?

Your comments welcome, especially if you were one of the guilty parties, the so-called "pranksters" - postcards only, don't forget !!!!!

But what madness, isn't it !!!!!

(left) our grandson Isaac (15) stuffs his laptop into his schoolbag, while (right)

Lois, and Isaac's mum, our daughter Alison, try to match the Jane Austen

characters to the scenes in the now-finished jigsaw puzzle - what madness!!!!

What a crazy day!!!!

But at least there's a bit of sanity brought back into our lives this evening, with Scottish daytime talk-show presenter Lorraine Kelly's current, fascinating celebrity-travelogue series as she travels up the Norwegian coast to the Arctic Circle, which is a relief, to put it mildly!!!!

What wonderful English those Norwegians speak - all of them, no matter how "humble" their professions! And while responding warmly to diminutive presenter Lorraine Kelly's infectious humour and enthusiasm, the local farmers and fishermen of the Lofoten Islands can't help noticing Lorraine's strong Scottish accent, which they dub "exotic". And to this, our Lorraine reacts with pride, saying that that particular accolade is a "first" for her, as far as she can remember, so it's nice for her too!

Lois and I didn't know that they make whisky in the Lofoten Islands, in Norway's arctic north, and tonight Lorraine talks to a guy called Tor, who's the manager of the world's northernmost distillery.

The distillery has some great advantages: water from the glacier in the mountains behind the building, plus some wonderful barley, some of it from Scotland and Norway, but also some sourced locally on the Lofoten Islands. Apparently it's physically impossible to grow barley any further north than here.

Also, as distillery manager Tor explains, you have to factor in the evaporation that occurs during the distilling process. In Scotland, they call it "the angels' share", because the angels fly over the Scottish distilleries taking a good old sniff, while in the Lofoten Islands they call it "Odin's share", because Odin, the father of the gods, is their "angel", so it's Odin what gets the benefit [sic!].

However, it turns out that there's a difference between what the angels get when they're flying over Scotland, and what Odin gets when he's flying over the Lofotens....

Poor Odin!!!! But for us viewers, it's nice to get the "science" of it all explained so clearly, isn't it!

Lois and I, however, get a bit concerned watching the programme tonight, because at times Lorraine seems to lose her focus and get a bit carried away, which is a bit of a worry.

And especially when she's fondling the local huskies, and she says she's falling totally in love, as she explains to her companion when we see her driving a husky-pulled sledge.