Friday January 2nd 2026 "That naughty Santa, eh! A girl at the bottom of every other chimney, seemingly !!!"

Yes, that naughty Santa, eh! And this year's tracking results, just published today in the local Onion News, reveal that on Christmas Eve he got stuck in yet another "old flame's chimney" - no pun intended!

What madness, isn't it !!!!

Poor Santa !!!!! Reading the Onion story here in semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire this morning, however, brings a weird, twisted smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, because more pictures are coming in from our daughter Alison and her family, who are spending the week at a ski resort up near Santa's "lair" in the mountains of northern Sweden, would you believe!

The family has been criticised by media insiders (mostly Yours Truly!) for mainly sending back pictures of the hotel's coffee lounge and restaurant, featuring views from the hotel windows, and highlighting menu samples etc, while showing little evidence of doing any actual skiing. And I think it's partly to silence their critics that some "action" pictures of them (a) wearing "outdoors-y" clothes and even on occasion (b) being outside the hotel, are now emerging, which is nice to see!

Kudos, Alison and husband Edward, plus teenage offspring Josie (19), Rosalind (17) and Isaac (15) !!!

And back here in Liphook, Hampshire, Lois and I are inspired to leave our own little warm house today for a bracing walk over the "hallowed turf" of local Hampshire Premier League "strugglers" Liphook United, currently "languishing" near the bottom of the league table, according to the sports pages of political magazine Private Eye. 

Private Eye editor Ian Hislop - a recent picture

However, with club manager Ron Knee (59), the team's ashen-faced supremo, now promising the team's fans (Sid and Doris Bonkers) "better things in 2026", who knows what goals the team is going to achieve (no pun intended!!!), perhaps spurred on by their recent continental signing, Hernandez de Pratwinkle, in the new year. 

Will the club be forced to build a third spectator "stand" to supplement the existing two 6-seater "jobs", both equipped with free "air-conditioning", i.e. absence of roof and sides (!!!!). Well we'll see - watch this space - and I don't mean the space between the posts of the stands !!!!!

We live in exciting times!!!!

my wife Lois and I take a bracing stroll across the "hallowed turf" of local

Hampshire Premier League's struggling giants, Liphook United

[Is that all you two 'noggins' have done today, Colin? Walked across a football pitch and then got in your car and gone home for probably another afternoon in bed? - Ed]

Well, absolutely not, seeing as how you ask! We've actually had quite a busy day today, would you believe.

Lois has even found the missing "edge piece" in her Christmas 2025 Jane Austen-themed jigsaw puzzle, which is a bit of a breakthrough, to put it mildly! And we've also done the puzzles in the back of this week's Radio Times, scoring a creditable 6 out or 10 in the prestigious "Mastermind" section, even though they've taken away the "multiple choice" feature, the bastards!!!!! 

Only joking, it's all good for the brain cells isn't it!!!!

(left) caught on camera - the moment the missing edge-piece turns up,

and (right) an overview of how work on the puzzle is going so far - not much progress yet,

but watch this space, or should I say "spaces" [No! -Ed] !!!!

our triumph in the Countdown section of the quiz pages, finding 4 categories

in the grid: moons of Uranus, Sex and the City women, children's games,

and horror films based on books by Stephen King

Fascinating stuff, isn't it!!!!  [If you say so! - Ed]

And reading Susie Dent's piece on spelling traps, I can't help recalling my old schoolmate "CJ" Barton's part-humorous insistence on pronouncing the word 'awry' to rhyme with "gory", "story" etc.

Kudos, "CJ" !!!!

But what a crazy language we speak !!!!!

20:00 And spelling issues continue to haunt Lois and me this evening, would you believe!

Spelling and misspelling, and variants (!) etc, all rear their ugly heads again, when, with our seemingly insatiable appetite for "quizzing", Lois and I realise that we can't go to bed tonight without watching Friday's "holiday special" edition of Only Connect, our favourite TV quiz, presented by Victoria Coren-Mitchell, the quiz that tests lateral thinking.

Can YOU suggest a fourth element for the following sequence of seemingly unrelated "things" ?

I think you've got an answer already, unless I'm very much mistaken!!! But no need to drop me a postcard, I've got a kind of an explanation here, so listen carefully!!!!

It's all about Anglo-American variations in spelling, isn't it. To get the equivalent US spellings, you have to take out (1) the 'a' of 'primeval' and the 'e' of 'axe', (2) the 'e' of 'sizeable' and the 'i' of 'speciality', (3) the second 'i' in 'aluminium' and the 'o' of 'moustache'. 

So working through the vowels, for the missing fourth element we need a pair of words where you take the 'o' out of one and the 'u' out of another. Simples !!!!!

The teams suggest 'manoeuvre colour', which is an acceptable answer, according to presenter Victoria.

The programme's question-setters have an alternative solution, adds Victoria Coren-Mitchell, and it's one which is worth remembering if YOU ever find yourself being tested for lateral thinking (!).

Poor Victoria !!!!!!

And could Victoria's "oestrogen mould" perhaps be a good topic for a hit spin-off series? The title could be repackaged with American spelling for US audiences, maybe?

I wonder.....!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!!!