Danskcolin: Thursday January 22nd 2026 "Who would YOU like to play YOU in the film version of YOUR life?!"

Yes, Friends, who would YOU like to play "little ol' you" in the film version of YOUR life?

I think we've all got our thoughts on that particular "hot potato", haven't we! And it's nice to know that it's not just real people who can't help but speculate on their casting options, as this morning's Onion News reveals !!!!

Good suggestion, Allegra! And good to get in early with your 'theoretical self-casting' of Kidman, because actresses who can play "an icy blonde with a lot going on behind the eyes", are rare birds, and can probably be counted on the fingers of one hand, to put it mildly!

And reading the Onion story today here in our "leafy paradise" - semi-rural Liphook Hampshire - my wife Lois and I can't help giving way to a distorted smile that spreads its way knowingly across our perfectly-formed lips, that's for sure!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

We ourselves have gone for the obvious in our own case - it may be something of a cliche, but we're both self-confessed "old codgers", 79 and counting, would you believe! So we've "plumped" for the admittedly 'safe option' of Doris Day and Cary Grant, now both in their nineties at least, if not more! We're currently waiting to hear back from them, so watch this space!!! [Don't hold your breath! - Ed]

Your suggestions for our castings welcome by the way - postcards only !!!!

Doris Day and Cary Grant - the 'no-brainer' choices to play Lois and me!

And Lois and I are laughing today because, at 4:45pm, our grandson Isaac (15) is due to drop by our house after an extended school-day, when we can get him to "spill the beans" about how preparations are going for the forthcoming staging of the Surrey Theatre Academy version of "Legally Blonde", which debuts at nearby Haslemere Hall next month, and in which Isaac stars as "UPS guy", Isaac's first-ever "romantic lead".

flashback to last month: Lois and I wait outside the stage door of 'happening' local venue

Haslemere Hall, to pick up our grandson Isaac (15) after a rehearsal for the

Surrey Theatre Academy production of "Legally Blonde", where Isaac plays the romantic lead

Yes, Isaac's taking the play's romantic lead, the "UPS delivery guy", played by Bruce Thomas in the film, who catches the eye of ditsy hair-salon manageress Paulette Bonafonte, played by Jennifer Coolidge.

flashback to July: our grandson Isaac (15) in his last major role,

as the Tin Man in his school's production of "The Wizard of Oz",

seen here with dad Edward, and mum Alison, our daughter

Remember the iconic scene in "Legally", when Paulette realises that an attractive local UPS guy has arrived at her hair-salon "with a package for her" (nudge nudge wink wink!!!). In her nervousness, Paulette mistimes her carefully-rehearsed "bend-and-snap" manoeuvre, designed to show off her legs, and, in a clumsy "kerfuffle", ends up breaking the poor delivery guy's nose.

You must remember that one haha!!!

the iconic scenes in Legally Blonde where smitten hair salon manageress

Paulette (Jennifer Coolidge) mistimes her "bend and snap" routine,

breaking the UPS guy's nose, maybe ruining her chances with him for ever!

Poor Paulette !!!!!

And our grandson Isaac is having to play, not just "UPS guy", but at least two other male roles in the play, due to the reluctance of local budding young male thespians to appear. There's no shortage of volunteers for the female parts, needless to say, so Isaac will be in "teenage boy's heaven" in the dressing-rooms after the show, to put it mildly !!!!

Just so you know, Lois and I have actually booked to see Isaac's performance at a special "Matinee for Old Codgers" performance early next month - so watch this space !!!!

typical local "old codgers" queuing up outside

Haslemere Hall for a recent matinee performance

Isaac's visit, after school today, tops off another perfect day for Lois and me. This morning, dodging the rain with almost perfect timing - apres nous le deluge, which starts the moment we get home, would you believe (!) - we take another bracing, 4000-step walk this morning over the "hallowed turf" of local soccer giants Liphook United.

local soccer heroes, Liphook United, in their new all-blue "strip",

in front of a capacity crowd, estimated at 16, seen here recently

in action, losing 0-2 at home, to local rivals Whitehill & Bordon

I won't mince words - Liphook United is in big trouble now, "languishing" second from bottom in the East Hampshire "Premier League". But they have a couple of games in hand, possibly due to their (apparently) permanently-waterlogged pitch (!).

And could newcomer Josh, the squad's exciting "no.17" shirt substitute, replace the seemingly out-of-favour and less exciting substitute, "no. 16" shirt Tom? And could that newcomer Josh perform something of a minor-miracle, and save United from almost certain relegation to the "East Hampshire First Division", long recognised as something of a graveyard for local would-be David Beckhams?

I think we should be told !!!