Danskcolin: Thursday April 2nd 2026 "Paying tax - we all hate it don't we! Especially the rich guys amongst us!!!"

Yes, Friends, do YOU hate paying tax? It's a common complaint, isn't it, and no more so than if you're a billionaire - it seems to annoy billionaires more than it does the average person, for some weird reason!!!!

Onion News has more....

Poor Californian billionaires!!!!! And 'poor' is something those guys not used to being called, that's for sure!

Reading the Onion story this morning, however, here in leafy Liphook, Hampshire, brings a smug smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, to put it mildly!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

We're not poor, but we're also not rich, I have to confess, and not even "well to do"!

I'm so "unwell-to-do", in fact, that I didn't even know what a gilet (pronounced jee-lay) was, until I looked it up, although I'd heard other people using the word and I had begun to feel uneasy about it. Here's chapter and verse (!):

What madness!!! And, just to be sure, I checked my wardrobe and there's not a "gilet" to be seen, so I'm definitely not a tech billionaire, which comes as something of a relief, to put it mildly!!!!

And although I'm not in any danger of having to pay any fancy, new-fangled "gilet tax", I still have to pay road tax on our 14-year-old Honda Jazz, which is a pity! And this morning, by coincidence, I spend a couple of hours waiting for the tax people in Swansea to ring me back to confirm that my road tax has in fact been paid up till April 2027, despite a confusing email I got from them recently. What madness, again!!!

my wife Lois beginning to drape herself over our 14-year-old Honda Jazz,

for which I'm seemingly still required to pay road tax - what madness, isn't it!!!!

My call to Swansea is eventually answered by a nice woman, who confirms that my road tax payment has gone through as I had believed, and you can see the relief on mine and Lois's two faces (yes - we've got one each: call us conventional if you like haha!!!), as we later "get down and dirty" in our tiny vegetable beds, doing a spot of weeding and general maintenance, which is nice!

Hoe hoe hoe! Lois and me this morning, doing some general

weeding and garden maintenance and "getting down and dirty"

in our tiny vegetable beds - what madness!!!!

14:00 And after a hurried lunch, I think we've earned our afternoon in bed, for statutory nap-time, but being a bit self-indulgent perhaps, not getting up till 5pm for a cup of tea and a slice of my 80th birthday cake from last week - yes, I turned 80 last week, and Lois will be doing it too in a couple of months, which is totally mad!!!!

flashback to last week: Lois lights the candles on my 80th birthday cake,

ably assisted by our daughter Alison and her 3 teenage offspring:

Josie (19), Rosalind (17) and Isaac (15) - what madness !!!!

[That's enough madness! - Ed]

As part of the celebrations for my birthday, Alison and the kids, plus Alison's husband Edward, later treated Lois and me to a slap-up meal at a Thai restaurant in nearby Haslemere, Surrey, during which Edward pulled out his phone and managed to get some AI bot-friend-of-his (!) to compose, and perform, an impromptu song in my honour, in the style of Elton John, no less, which delighted not just us, but also the restaurant's other customers, to put it mildly!

flashback to last week: our daughter Alison and husband Edward and family

treat Lois and me to a Thai meal in Haslemere, Surrey, during which I'm

regaled by an AI-generated song in my honour, which is nice!

And you can hear the bot's song, "Lemongrass and Lime" for yourself, if you click on this link, which is handy!

Lyrics:

Rain is tapping steady, on a street in [semi-]leafy Surrey

But inside there's no pressure, and there's no need to hurry,

The scent of lemongrass and lime is floating through the air,

A table set for family, and Poppa's in his chair.

'Happy birthday Poppa, eighty years of being true,

From the Surrey hills to Bangkok's skies, we're celebrating you!'

And when you're singing those last two lines, don't forget to get your "Poppa" scarf out and hold it high above your head, waving it from side to side, to get the full effect haha!!!!

At the time, I thought this was pretty ground-breaking, and I was right, it seems! Because I see that the trend for AI-generated songs has now quickly begun to take rapid hold, according to news today from Steve, our American brother-in-law, citing this shock story from news website breitbart.com, no less!!!