Danskcolin: Tuesday 19 June 2018

08:00 Lois and I go in the shower and get up. We dress in our "funeral costume" (black clothes for the most part) because we are planning to attend Bob's funeral ceremony today in a small village called Wickhamford, located near the town of Evesham. Our friend, Bob, died recently.

Our good friend Bob, who sadly died recently

Bob was a member of Lois's sect, but he was very sweet and funny, and not at all sanctimonious man, and I liked him a lot. He was a quiet man, incredibly proud of his huge stamp collection. He used to let his wife (Margaret) speak for both of them ha ha.

Margaret, Bob's wife: he mostly let her speak for both of them ha ha

Unfortunately, he had a blind spot when it came to Asian immigrants - he suspected that most of these immigrants were terrorists: some of them were - I had to admit, but only a small minority: let's be sensible here!!!

He knew that at that time I worked in a government department, and he thought that I might somehow be able to stop these influxes. I told him things do not work like that, but I'm not quite sure he believed me, which was a bit of a shame. Too late now to convince him!

09:45 My friend, "Magyar" Mike arrives and we study Hungarian for an hour. It feels a little strange to be sitting here in my dark suit while reading our textbook and laughing at our basic mistakes, but we cannot do anything about that! Funerals are a serious affair, no doubt about that.

11:00 Lois and I drive over to the village of Wickhamford and attend Bob's funeral. The ceremony takes place in a former pub which unfortunately recently went bankrupt and has now been converted to the sect's meeting-house.

the former village pub, now the sect's meeting-house -

all the old pub-signs, posters, flags and bunting, etc.

have now gone - sob sob!

After the ceremony there will be a get-together to which all the guests at the ceremony have been invited. I have not really been looking forward to that, but fortunately Lois has decided that she does not want to go to the get-together either: she has work to do on the computer and she is going out tonight - she wants to attend her sect's regular bible seminars that take place in the town of Brockworth. She is a little worried that the get-together will be too tiring and if she attends the get-together and has to put up with a lot of chatter in the afternoon, she will not have the energy to attend the seminar.

The ceremony begins. The majority of the guests are members of the sect, but there are others, including me, non-members.

Unfortunately, the preacher only talks a little about poor Bob's life and decides instead to give a "hard sell" to non-members (a sales tactic that is characterized by insistence and aggression. The term "hard sell" originated in the 1950s America - Ed.), pressing us all to accept the sect's faith and principles etc. Good grief, a little embarrassing!

If I were Bob's widow (Margaret), I would be a bit annoyed that the preacher took advantage of this sad occasion to try to convert others to the sect, but that's for Margaret to say, not me!

14:00 Lois and I sneak out of the meeting-house and come home. In our absence this morning the postman has delivered our daughter Sarah's father's day present to me: a box of luxury foods and two mini-bottles of wine - yum yum!

We have lunch a little later than normal. I add to the meal some of the foods Sarah has sent me from Australia: crispbreads and a minibottle of white wine, with toffee fudge for dessert - yum yum!

14:30 I go to bed and take me a giant afternoon nap - zzzzzzz !!! Lois meanwhile sits down in front of the computer and does some genealogical research on behalf of her friend, Mari-Ann.

16:00 I get up and we relax with a cup of tea on the couch.

17:30 We have dinner a bit earlier than usual, because Lois wants to attend her sect's bible seminar taking place this evening in the Brockworth town library. For the first time in several months, she has decided to drive herself to Mari-Anne's house: her back problems have almost disappeared, although she occasionally gets some painful twinges. Poor Lois !!!!!

18:00 I have a little alone time. I take a little look online, and I see an interesting picture that our elder daughter Alison has put on "Insta": a picture of the massive double-removal van that was standing today outside the family's house in Copenhagen. Exciting times for the family - they move home to England in ten days' time after almost 6 years in Denmark.

the massive double moving-truck standing

in front of Alison's family house in Copenhagen today

The moving company employees will be finished packing the family's furniture and belongings tomorrow, and then Alison, Ed and their 3 children will be limited to "camping" in the house with a minimum of belongings: microwave, inflatable mattresses, etc. A great adventure, especially for the kids - I have no doubt about that.

19:00 I carry on sitting in front of the computer. I get started designing the 3 photo books that we have decided to send to our (soon) 5 year old twin grandchildren in Australia, Lily and Jessie, as birthdays gifts. Lois has already chosen the 60 photos (or so) that she wants me to include in the photo books.

The photos were taken during our recent stay (in March and April) with our youngest daughter Sarah's family in Perth, Australia. The most important thing is that we want to remind the twins about what we did with them over the two months. We do not want them to forget us: it's not the same to just talk to us on Skype or whatsapp. We had a close relationship with the children before the family moved to Australia in December 2015 - we used to look after them 2 days a week: on Mondays and Fridays, ever since they were very small.

Unfortunately, the internet is very slow this evening, and it takes me almost 3 hours to design and order the 3 photo books - damn!

The three photo books I have designed as birthday gifts

to our twin grandchildren in Australia

21:45 Lois comes home and we watch a bit of television. The latest episode is showing from an interesting Anglo-American documentary series, about abandoned, disused installations and facilities - former research facilities, military facilities or equipment, etc., which have never been demolished, and are just sitting there still, in the countryside, on mountains, in deserts, in the sea etc.

Each hourly episode covers 4 of these installations. It sounds a bit boring, but Lois and I find it really fascinating.

One of the structures this evening is the Georg Thiele, a German WWII destroyer, which is sitting like a stranded whale on the side of a Norwegian fjord (Rombaksfjord) in northern Norway, near the harbor town of Narvik.

The Germans began building destroyers again in the 1930s, contrary to the Versailles Treaty. They were much more modern than the older British ships: bigger, faster, and much more heavily armed. Their maximum speed was 40 knots, in comparison to the British 32.

But the German ships had numerous design errors: the design was extremely complicated, and breakdowns were frequent. They were excellent on paper, but they did not perform well on the open sea. They were top-heavy, and therefore unstable in rough seas: the fuel tanks had to be only 30% full or less. They were also too heavy in the bows, and took in a lot of sea water during storms - my god, what madness !!!!

Hitler's shiny new destroyers had many serious design faults

- good grief, what madness !!!!

In 1940, Hitler sent 10 of his 14 shiny new destroyers to Narvik to spearhead his invasion of neutral Norway. The ships managed to land Hitler's invasion army, but they were trapped in the narrow waters of the fjord when several ships of the British Royal Navy arrived. Six of the 10 German destroyers were sunk, 3 fled back to Germany, and the tenth, the Georg Thiele, was forced to beach itself on the side of the fjord. Good grief, what a crazy world we live in !!!!

The stranded Georg Thiele in 1940

the ship today: like a stranded whale, or like one cup of a padded bra:

my god, what a crazy world we live in !!!!

22:30 I go to bed. But Lois needs to relax and wind down after the evening's stimulating Bible seminar. So she watches a bit of television.

23:00 She jumps up into bed with me. Now finally, we can lay the day - and ourselves - to rest.

Zzzzzzzz !!!!

Danish translation

08:00 Lois og jeg går i bad og står op. Vi klæder os på i vores ”begravelseskostume” (sort tøj for det meste), fordi vi planlægger at deltage i Bobs begravelsesceremoni i dag i en lille landsby kaldet Wickhamford, der ligger i nærheden af byen Evesham. Vores ven, Bob, døde for nylig.

Vores gode ven Bob, der desværre døde for nylig

Bob var et medlem af Lois’s sekt, men han var meget sød og morsom, og overhovedet ikke en skinhellig mand, og jeg kunne godt lide ham. Han var en rolig mand, utrolig stolt af sin enorme frimærkesamling. Han plejede at lade sin kone (Margaret) tale for dem begge ha ha.

Margaret, Bobs kone: han lod hende for det meste tale for dem begge ha ha

Han havde desværre et blindt punkt, når det kom til asiatiske indvandrere – han mistænkte, at hovedparten af disse invandrere var terrorister: det er nogle af dem, der var det – det måtte jeg indrømme, men kun et lille mindretal: lad os være fornuftige her!!!

Han vidste, at jeg dengang arbejdede i en regeringsafdeling, og han troede, at jeg måske på en eller anden måde kunne stoppe disse tilstrømninger. Jeg fortalte ham, at ting ikke virke således, men jeg er ikke helt sikker på, at han troede på mig, hvilket var lidt af en skam. For sent nu til at overbevise ham!

09:45 Min ven, ”Magyar” Mike ankommer og vi studerer ungarsk i en time. Det føles lidt underligt at sidde i mit sorte jakkesæt, mens vi læser vores lærebog eg griner af vores grundlæggende fejl, men det kan vi ikke gøre for! Begravelserer en alvorlig affære, ingen tvivl om det.

11:00 Lois og jeg kører over til landsbyen Wickhamford og deltager i Bobs begravelsesceremoni. Ceremoniet finder sted i en tidligere pub, der desværre for nylig gik konkurs, og som nu er blevet ombygget til sektens menighedshus.

den tidligere pub, nu sektens menighedshus –

alle de gamle pubtegn, plakaterne, flag og flagdug osv

er nu forsvundet – hulk hulk!

Efter ceremoniet vil der være en sammenkomst, som alle ceremoniets gæster er blevet inviteret til. Det har jeg ikke ret meget glædet mig til, men heldigvis har Lois besluttet, at hun ikke ønsker at deltage i sammenkomsten: hun har arbejde at gøre på computeren, og hun skal ud i aften – hun ønsker at deltage i sektens regelmæssige bibelseminar, der finder sted i byen Brockworth. Hun er lidt bekymret over, at sammenkomsten vil være for trættende, og hvis hun deltager i sammenkomsten og skal holde ud en masse snik-snak i eftermiddag, vil hun ikke have energien til at deltage i seminaret.

Ceremoniet begynder. Hovedparten af gæsterne er medlemmer af sektet, men der er også andre, inklusive mig, der er ikke-medlemmer.

Desværre taler prædikeren kun lidt om stakkels Bobs liv, og beslutter i stedet for at give ikke-medlemmerne en ”hård salg” (et salg taktik, der er kendetegnet ved at være insisterende og aggressiv. Udtrykket "hårde sælge" opstod i 1950'erne Amerika – red.), mens han pressede os alle til at acceptere sektets tro og principper. Du godeste, lidt pinligt!

Hvis jeg var Bobs enke (Margaret), ville jeg være lidt irriteret over, at prædikeren udnytter denne triste anledning for at omvende andre til sekten, men det tilkommer Margaret, ikke mig!

14:00 Lois og jeg snider os ud af menighedshuset og kommer hjem. I vores fravær i morges har postbudet leveret vores datter Sarahs farsdagsgave til mig: en kasse luksusfødevarer og to miniflasker vin – yum yum!

Vi spiser frokost, lidt senere, end normalt. Jeg tilføjer til maden nogle af fodevarerne Sarah har sendt mig fra Australien: knækbrød, og en miniflaske hvid vin, med toffee fudge til dessert – yum yum!

14:30 Jeg går i seng for at tage mig en gigantisk eftermiddagslur – zzzzzzz!!! Lois sætter sig i mellemtiden foran computeren og gør lidt genealogisk forskning på vegne af sin ven, Mari-Ann.

16:00 Jeg står op og vi slapper af med en kop te i sofaen.

17:30 Vi spiser aftensmad, lidt tidligere, end normalt, fordi Lois ønsker at deltage i sin sekts bibelseminar, der finder sted i aften i byen Brockworths bibliotek. For første gang i flere måneder har hun besluttet at køre sig selv over til Mari-Anns hus: hendes rygproblemer er næsten forsvundet, selvom hun fra tid til anden får nogle lette stikkende smerter. Stakkels Lois !!!!!

18:00 Jeg har lidt alenetid. Jeg kigger lidt på nettet, og jeg ser et interessant billede, som vores ældste datter Alison har lagt op på ”Insta”: et billede af den massive dobbelt-flyttevogn, der i dag stod udenfor familiens hus i København. Spændende tider for familien – de flytter hjem til England om ti dages tid efter næsten 6 år i Danmark.

den massive dobbelt-flyttevogn, der står

foran Alisons familiens hus i København

Flyttefirmaets medarbejdere vil i løbet af i morgen være færdige med at pakke familiens møbler og ejendele, og derefter bliver Alison, Ed og deres 3 børn begrænset til at ”campere” i huset med et minimum af ejendele: mikroovn, oppustelige madrasser osv. Et stort eventyr, i sær for børnene – det har jeg ikke nogen tvivl om.

19:00 Jeg fortsætter med at sidde foran computeren. Jeg går i gang med at designe de 3 fotobøger, som vi har besluttet at sende til vores (snart) 5-årige tvillingebørnebørn i Australien, Lily og Jessie, som fødseldsdagsgaver. Lois har allerede valgt de 60 fotos (eller deromkring), som hun vil have, at jeg inkluderer i fotobøgerne.

Fotoerne blev taget under vores nylige ophold (i marts og april) hos vores yngste datters Sarahs familie i Perth, Australien. Det vigtigste er, at vi vil minde tvillingerne om, hvad vi lavede sammen med dem i løbet af de to måneder. Vi vil ikke have, at de glemmer os: det er bare ikke det samme at tale med os på Skype eller whatsapp. Vi havde sikke et tæt forhold til børnene, før familien i december 2015 flyttede til Australien – vi passede på dem 2 dage om ugen: om mandagen og fredagen, helt siden de var meget små.

Desværre er internettet meget langsomt i aften, og det tager mig næsten 3 timer til at designe og bestille de 3 fotobøgerne – pokkers!

De tre fotobøger, jeg har designet som fødselsdagsgaver

til vores tvillingebørnebørn i Australien

21:45 Lois kommer hjem og vi ser lidt fjernsyn. De viser det seneste afsnit i en interessant anglo-amerikansk dokumentarserie, der handler om opgivede, forladte anlæg og faciliteter – tidligere forskningsfaciliteter, militær faciliteter osv, der aldrig er blevet revet ned, som bare sidder ude på landet, på bjerge, i ørkner, i havet osv.

Hvert timelangt afsnit dækker 4 tidligere anlæg. Det lyder lidt kedeligt, men Lois og jeg finder det faktisk helt fascinerende.

En af aftenens anlæg er Georg Thiele, en tysk destroyer fra den 2. verdenskrig, der sidder som en strandet hval på siden af en norsk fjord (Rombaksfjord) i det nordlige Norge, i nærheden af havnbyen Narvik.

Tyskerne begyndte at bygge destroyere igen i 1930’erne, hvilket stred mod Versailles-traktatet. De var meget mere moderne, end de ældre britiske skibe: større, hurtigere, og meget mere tungt væbnede. Deres maksimale fart var 40 knob, i sammenligning til den britiske 32.

Men de tyske skibe havde talrige designfejl: designet var ekstremt kompliceret, og nedbrud var hyppige. De var udmærkede i teori, men de fungerede ikke ret godt på det åbne hav. De var toptunge, og derfor ustabile på urolig hav: brændstoftankene måtte kun være 30% fulde eller mindre. De var også for tunge i boven, og tog ind en masse søvand under stormer – du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!!

Hitlers spritnye destroyere havde mange alvorlige designfejl

- du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!!

I 1940 sendte Hitler 10 af sine 14 spritnye destroyere op til Narvik for at danne spidsen for hans invasion af det neutrale Norge. Det lykkedes skibene at lande Hitlers invasionshær, men de så befandt sig fanget i fjordens smalle farvande, da flere skibe af den britiske kongelige flåde ankom. Seks af de 10 tyske destroyers blev sænket, 3 flygtede tilbage til Tyskland, og den tiende, Georg Thiele, blev tvunget til at strande sig på siden af fjorden. Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!