Wednesday 13 June 2018

08:00 We get up. Lois has to go out - she has an appointment with the local lady's hairdresser, "Billy Shears". I used to walk past this hairdresser's every day when my late mother was still alive and I used to call on her every morning. Her old house is only about 200 yards further on from the Billy Shears place.

Lois comes back and we relax with a cup of coffee on the couch.

10:00 We clear up a little in the living room and do a little light dusting in the living room because our U3A Danish group is holding its next meeting here this afternoon at 2:30 pm.

Does light dusting count as aerobic exercise? The jury is still out on that one, although I can see that while we are getting the house ready, our usual stream of wisecracks tends to take a break, no doubt about that.

I recalled the case of Maria Ortega, a judge's housekeeper, who hit the headlines (source: Onion News in Brief) some years ago when the judge, John Whitford, complained that Maria was too busy with her duties to find time to come up with any sassy one-liners. 

It's a bit of a shame, Whitford told journalists, but Maria "spends so much time cooking, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the windows in Whitford's 40-bedroom mansion, doing laundry, making the beds, and throwing out the trash, that she has no time to delight the family with those kind of witty, sassy comebacks, like "that Florence in that Jefferson's sitcom"."

That Florence (Maria Gibbs) (right), in that 'Jeffersons' sitcom.

In particular, Whitford "is a little disappointed" because "Maria has a 2-hour commute (by bus) every morning - more than enough time to think up some funny wisecracks in advance", he believes.

But Lois and I sympathize with Maria - we soon get out of breath this morning and only have the strength to whisper our stream of humorous exchanges. We are getting old, no doubt about that, not ony that but I could do with a strong gin and tonic - yikes!

12:30 Lunch and afterwards a short afternoon nap. We get up at 2pm and prepare for our Danish group's meeting.

14:30 The members of the group ring at the door and we read another 8 pages of "Line", a Danish crime novella, which is the group's current project.

Jakob, the main character in the novella, is investigating the death of his father, who was found dead with a pair of scissors stuck in his stomach, right at the entrance of the famous abandoned church in Skagen on the north coast of Jutland. Yikes - spooky!

The members of our group all think that Jakob's father was actually killed by the suspicious church janitor, Bjarne, who is as big and strong as a bear, and is a little creepy besides. Bjarne is a long-haul truck driver, but has a part-time job as church janitor - he sells tickets to tourists who want to visit the church tower: the rest of the church has sadly been buried in the sand as a result of several sandstorms on this windy coast - good grief, what madness !!!

The hiccup with the above is that I have not yet given the group members the last 2 pages of the novella. I'm actually the only one who knows how the story ends - ha! They can manufacture as many theories as they want, but they cannot know for certain what happens in the end, that's for sure !!!

16:15 The meeting ends and the members leave. Lois and I relax with a cup of tea on the couch. We are exhausted, as always after a "Danish" day, where we spend the morning clearing up and cleaning, and in the afternoon leading our Danish group meeting.

18:00 We have dinner and afterwards we talk on Skype with Alison, our daughter in Copenhagen.

We talk a little on Skype with Alison, our daughter in Copenhagen

Alison's family has to move back to England at the end of the month after almost 6 years in Denmark because our son-in-law Ed's job over there has come to an end. And it's hard for him to find a new job at the moment - the job market is a bit quiet during the summer. But he is in the initial stages of applying for a job in Berlin at a small startup company with an American CEO. Yikes!

Lois and I have been hoping that the family will stay in England for a while, but we realize that it's Ed's career that's the most important thing, and it may be that this job application will not come to anything in any case - he is only in the preliminary stages, so it's too early to start on plans for taking holidays in Germany - we have no doubts about that!

Ed is currently in England for a few days. He has bought a British car and he is going to park it in front of the family's house in Haslemere, Surrey and fly back to Denmark tomorrow. He is going to fly back to England again on June 24, because the family's furniture and belongings will arrive at their English house on the 25th.

On June 26, he travels with the new car back to Denmark. The 28th is the family's last complete day in Denmark. They will leave Copenhagen on the 29th by car, arriving in Haslemere on the 30th, at which point the family's long 6-year residence in Denmark will come to an end.

Josie (11), the eldest of Alison and Ed's three children, is going to be attending a special "transition day" for new pupils on July 4th at Woolmer Hill, the local high school. Yikes, busy, busy, busy !!!!

21:00 Lois watches a bit of television while I go to bed early to listen to the radio, an interesting program about Vic Oliver, a comedian who was very popular in my youth.

Oliver, a totally harmless and most amusing, self-effacing comedian, was actually on Hitler's "black list": one of the 3,000 people who would have been questioned and probably shot if the Germans had succeeded in their invasion of Britain.

Other names on Hitler's list included Noel Coward, Virginia Woolf, Paul Robeson, also the writer Rebecca West, who later sent a telegram to Noel Coward, saying, "My dear, the people we would have been seen dead with!"

My god, what a crazy world we live in !!!

Oliver married Winston Churchill's daughter, Sarah. He revealed later that his father-in-law's favourite song was Eddie Cantor's "Making Whoopee", which is a bit of a surprise, to put it mildly.

22:00 Lois hops into bed with me and we can lay the day - and ourselves - to rest - we are exhausted. 

Zzzzzzzz !!!!

Danish translation

08:00 Vi står op. Lois skal ud – hun har en aftale hos den lokale damefrisør, ”Billy Shears”. Hun kommer tilbage og vi slapper af med en kop kaffe i sofaen.

10:00 Vi rydder lidt op i stuen og gør lidt let afstøvning i stuen, fordi vores U3A danske gruppe holder dens næste møde i eftermiddag kl 14:30 hos os.

Tæller let afstøvning som aerobisk motion? Det er juryen stadig ude om, selvom jeg kan se, at, mens vi forbereder huset, har vores sædvanlige stribe vittigheder tendens pludselig tl at gå i stå, ingen tvivl om det.

Jeg mindes sagen af Maria Ortega, en dommers husholderske, der for nogle år siden ramte overskrifterne (kilde: Onion News in Brief), da dommeren, John Whitford, brokkede sig, at Maria havde for travlt med sine opgaver til at finde tid til at komme med nogle kvikke bemærkninger. 

Det er lidt af en skam, sagde Whitford til journalister, men Maria tilbringer så meget tid på at lave mad, støvsuge, afstøve, vaske vinduerne i Whitfords 40-værelses palæ, vaske tøj, rede sengene, smide affaldet, at hun ikke har tid til at glæde familien med den slags kvikke, frække replikker, som den der Florence på den der ”Jeffersons” sitcom kommer med.

Den der Florence (Maria Gibbs), i den der Jeffersons-sitcom.

Whitford er i sær lidt skuffet, fordi Maria hver morgen har en 2-timers befordring (med bus) – mere end nok tid til at udtænke på forhånd nogle morsomme vittigheder.

Men Lois og jeg sympatiserer med Maria  - vi taber snart pusten og kan kun hviske til hinanden vores forskellige humoristiske bemærkninger. Vi bliver gamle, ingen tvivl om det, og jeg trænger til en stærk gin-og-tonik – yikes!

12:30 Frokost og bagefter en kort eftermiddagslur. Vi står op kl 14 og forbereder os på vores danske gruppes møde.

14:30 Gruppens medlemmer ringer på og vi læser endnu 8 sider af ”Line”, en kriminovelle, der er gruppens nuværende projekt.

Jakob, novellens hovedfigur, er i gang med at undersøge sin fars død – hans far blev fundet med en saks stukket i sin mave, lige ved indgangen af den berømte tilsandede kirke i Skagen, der ligger på Jyllands nordlige kyst. Yikes – uhyggeligt!

Gruppens medlemmer mener alle, at Jakobs far faktisk blev dræbt af den mistænksomme  kirkepasser, Bjarne, der er så stor og stærk som en bjørn, og er lidt uhyggelig derudover. Bjarne er en langdistance lastbilchauffør, og har deltidsjob som kirkepasser – han sælger billetter til turister, der ønsker at besøge kirketårnet: resten af kirken er blevet dækket af sand som resultat af adskillige sandstormer på denne forblæste kyst – du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!

Hagen ved det overanførte, er at jeg ikke endnu har givet gruppens medlemmer kriminovellens sidste 2 sider. Jeg er faktisk den enester, der kender novellens afsløring og slutning – ha! De kan skabe så mange teorier som de har lyst til, men de kan ikke vide sikkert, hvad der sker i slutningen, det har jeg ikke nogen tvivl om !!!

16:15 Mødet slutter og medlemmerne skal af sted. Lois og jeg slapper af med en kop te i sofaen. Vi er udmattede, som altid efter en ”danske” dag, hvor vi bruger formiddagen på at rydde op og rense, og eftermiddagen på at lede vores danske gruppes møde.

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og bagefter taler vi lidt på Skype med Alison, vores datter i København.

vi taler lidt på Skype med Alison, vores datter i København

Familien skal flytte tilbage til England ved slutningen af måneden efter næsten 6 år i Danmark, fordi vores svigersøn Eds job derovre er kommet til ende. Det er svært at finde et nyt job for tiden – jobmarkedet  er lidt stille om sommeren. Men han er i de indledende faser af at ansøge om et job i Berlin hos en lille startup selskab med en amerikansk direktør.

Yikes! Lois og jeg har håbet på, at familien bliver boende i England i et stykke tid, men vi er klar over, at det er Eds karriere, der er det vigtigste, og det kan være at dette jobansøgning i hvert fald ikke bliver til noget – han er kun i de indeldende faser, så det er for tidligt at starte med planer om, at holde ferier i Tyskland – det har vi ikke nogen tvivl om !

Ed er for tiden i England i et par dage. Han har købt en britisk bil, og han skal parkere den foran familiens hus i Haslemere, Surrey og flyve tilbage til Danmark i morgen. Han skal flyve tilbage til England igen den 24. juni, fordi familiens møbler og ejendele skal ankomme til deres engelske hus den 25.

Den 26. juni rejser han med den nye bil til Danmark. Den 28. er familiens sidste hele dag i Danmark. De skal til af sted den 29. med bil, og ankommer til Haslemere den 30., når familiens lange 6-års ophold i Danmark kommer til ende.

Josie (11), den ældste af Alison og Eds tre børn, skal deltage den 4. juli i en speciel indkaldelsesdag på Woolmer Hill, den lokale højskole. Yikes, travlt, travlt, travlt!!!!

21:00 Lois ser lidt fjernsyn, mens jeg går tidligt i seng for at lytte lidt til radio, en interessant program, der handler om Vic Oliver, en komiker, der var meget populær i min ungdom.

Oliver, en helt harmløs og morsom komiker, var faktisk på Hitlers ”sorte liste”: en af de 3000 mennesker, der ville er blevet afhørt og muligvis skudt, hvis tyskerne havde nået at invadere Storbritannien.

Andre navne indeholdt Noel Coward, Virginia Woolf, Paul Robeson, også forfatterinden Rebecca West, der senere sendte et telegram til Noel Coward, hvor der stod, ”Min skat, se de mennesker, vi ville være blevet set døde sammen med!”.

Du godeste, sikke et skør verden vi lever i !!!

Oliver giftede sig med Winston Churchills datter, Sarah. Han afslørede senere, at hans svigerfars yndlingssang var Eddie Cantors "Making Whoopee", hvilket er lidt af en overraskelse, for at sige mildt.

22:00 Lois hopper op i sengen til mig, og vi kan lægge dagen, og os, til hvile – vi er udmattede. 

Zzzzzzzz!!!!