Monday 20 May 2019

Lois and I still feel a little rough: our stomachs are acting more normal today, but we have the feeling that both of us are starting to come down with a heavy cold  - damn!

Lois goes out into the front yard and then backyard to weed a little in the flower beds, while in the meantime I try out my shiny new cross-cut shredder. I start shredding all our outdated bank statements and other bank documents, hundreds of documents altogether - some of them dating back to 2004 or earlier – good grief, what madness !!!!

I’m lacking energy again today because of the digestion problems and /or the cold, so this is an ideal task for me: to sit in the dining room and chuck old documents into the shredder, and listen to the machine's satisfying crunching sounds - hurrah!

Unfortunately I get a little too enthusiastic. The shredder overheats and stops working - damn (again) !!!! Lois quickly leafs through the instruction leaflet and she finds out that you are only supposed to use the machine for a maximum of 3 minutes, and afterwards wait 1 hour before turning it on again – my god, what madness !!! Also you can only shred 6 pages at a time, which is a bit of a shame.

I wait an hour, and in the meantime, I sort the out-of-date documents into bundles each of 6 pages only. Then, in the course of the day, I manage to shred all our old bank statements and the like, and throw all the resulting "confetti" into one of our compost holders - hurrah!

In the course of the day, I succeed in shredding all our old bank statements and the like

and chuck all of the "confetti" into one of our compost holders - hurrah!

Except (of course) from the so-called "overheating" incident, the entire operation has gone like clockwork.

a raw sketch, made when the operation ("Operation Shredder") was in the planning stages

Part of the scene of the operation: key -

A: The shredder strategically placed on a chair

B: the overflowing letter rack that led to the crisis

C: the drinks cabinet

D: the filing cabinet

E: approximate route, the confetti takes to the compost holder (1st stage only shown)

F: Piano (not shown)

Today's so-called "Operation Shredder" is loosely based on Cooper & Schmidt's famous "Operation Xerox-Fax", which has become a bit of a classic in this field - I have to say, as the world's press reported at the time, back in 1996 , now 23 years ago (source: Onion News).

HARTFORD, CT -     Middle management at Coopers & Schmidt, a Hartford-based insurance claims settlement company, are busy gearing up this week for Operation Xerox-Fax, a top-secret, high-risk faxing mission scheduled for April 23.

The goal of the risky operation, which will involve an estimated three mid-level employees ranging from assistant account coordinators to regional sales supervisors is the successful copying, faxing, and confirmation of Coopers & Schmidt's March '96 benefits summary.

"This is an exciting, high-risk mission," says Tom Gerosa, an associate claims manager, who has been with the company for 14 years. "I pray no one is hurt."

Operation Xerox-Fax is set to begin at 10 a.m. sharp when Coopers & Schmidt secretary Janice D'Alessio will make a photocopy of the benefits summary, which she will then put in Vice President Ralph Gleick's mailbox. When her part of the mission is complete, D'Alessio will remove the original document from the Xerox machine, walk across the office, and hand it over to the regional benefits co-supervisor Art Blaine, who will be awaiting the document in his cubicle.

Blaine is considered by many to be the hinge of the operation. Responsible for double checking the distribution list against the benefits file on his computer, he must then transport it safely to the new accounts manager Terri Auletta at the fax machine, which stands more than 30 yards from Blaine's cubicle, past the supply closet, shredder and inspirational corporate poster that reads: Success - if you believe it, you can achieve it."

"There will undoubtedly be dangers," said Blaine, who was promoted from assistant benefits supervisor to co-supervisor six years ago when Ted Stram died. "The area in the office I will be crossing is one of our most volatile  - sales managers demonstrating golf swings, outbound Federal Express packages lying on the floor, the list goes on. My wife is very concerned, but she knows this is what comes with the job. She knew it wouldn't be easy when she married me, but she is strong. "

Making the scenario even more tense is the fact that the fax can only take place between 10:45 and 11:30 a.m.. If the fax is not sent during this window, then the recipient, Regional Assistant Sales and Distribution Manager Gary Tremont, is likely to be out to lunch, which means that the fax cannot be sent and receipt confirmed until after lunch time, which might be as late at 2 p.m. .

"I don't even want to talk about that possibility," Au-Letta said. "Failure is not an option with this team."

Operation Coordinator Paul McHue is convinced that his elite squad of middle management is fully prepared for its mission.

"We've been training day and night for months for this Operation," McHue said. "The photocopier's ink cartridge has been checked and re-checked. Missing staplers have either been returned or replaced. Paper clips have been positioned at strategic points along the mission route. Fax numbers have been verified. Hallways have been cleared of all empty boxes. Approval has been received from office manager Nacy Luberda. We will only get one shot at this. "

As far as I know, the operation was mostly a success, with only minor injuries and (perhaps) a maximum of one death, but its bold vision has never been surpassed, until perhaps today – that’s something I have no doubts about.

18:00 Lois and I have dinner and spend the rest of the evening watching a bit of television. An interesting documentary in the series "Great Art" is on: this episode is all about the famous Norwegian painter, Edvard Munch.

Munch's paintings are a bit sad overall, but there is also some more positive imagery if you take the trouble to look for it. 

Lois and I particularly like the middle-aged man in "The Dance of Life" whom we unofficially call "Gary", our nickname for him - Gary is obviously thinking, "I’ve scored with this woman in the white dress, whoever she is", which is nice.

The Dance of Life (1899)

Closeup: "Gary" and the woman in the white dress that 

he believes he has "scored"

But I do not like the wallpaper in Munch's pictures of some of the brothels he had known - the paper is a bit too patterned, I think. And it gives a slightly claustrophobic mood that might make clients throw up, but I’m going to let that one slide, because Munch's clients are obviously feeling very good and looking forward to their session with the women, even though the women themselves look more ambivalent, I have to say - oh dear!

"Zum Süssen Madel" (1907): the client (to the right) tries not to notice

the nauseating, claustrophobic wallpaper, and concentrate on

his imminent session with the prostitute (right)

"Desire" (1907): the prostitute (to the left) shows the client (to the right)

her menu of options and price list. The woman looks tense, the client thoughtful, perhaps.

Is he also a bit short-sighted? The jury is still out on that one.

21:00 We continue to watch a bit of television, the latest episode of the sitcom "Not Going Out", starring stand-up comedian Lee Mack as "Lee" and Sally Bretton as Lucy, Lee's wife.

Of course, Munch's most famous painting is "The Scream", and this sitcom opens with a lot of screaming, which is nice.

Lucy comes home and sees Lee lying on the floor - she thinks he's dead, and she screams. But he's not dead - he is just picking up the pieces of one of Lucy's vases, that has been smashed.

22:00 We go to bed. Lois is now very coldy, no doubt about that. Zzzzzzzzz !!!!

Danish translation

Lois og jeg føler os stadig lidt dårligt tilpasse:  vores maver er mere normale, men vi har på fornemmelse, at vi begge to begynder meget meget langsomt at blive forkølet -  pokkers!

Lois går ud i forhaven og baghaven for at luge lidt i blomsterbedene, mens jeg i mellemtiden prøver min spritnye cross-cut makulator. Jeg går i gang med at makulere alle vores uddaterede kontoudtog og ander dokumenter fra banken, hundredvis af dokumenter – nogle af dem daterer til 2004 eller tidligere – du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!!

Jeg mangler energi i dag på grund af den dårlig mave og/eller forkølelse, og det er et ideelt opgave at sidde i spisestuen og smide gamle dokumenter i makulatoren og lytte til maskinens tilfredsstillende knasende lyd – hurra!

Desværre bliver jeg lidt entusiastisk og makulatoren overopheder og holder op med at fungere – pokkers (igen) !!!! Lois blader hurtigt igennem anvisningerne og hun finder ud af, at man kun skal bruge maskinen i max 3 minutter, og bagefter vente 1 time før man tænder den igen – du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!! Også man kan kun makulere 6 sider ad gangen, hvilket er lidt af en skam.

Jeg venter 1 timer, og i mellemtiden sorterer jeg de uddaterede dokumenter i bundter af kun 6 sider. I løbet af dagen når jeg at makulere alle vores gamle kontoudtog og lignende, og smide alle de ”konfetti” ud i én af vores kompostholdere – hurra!

I løbet af dagen når jeg at makulere alle vores gamle kontoudtog og lignende,

og smide alle de ”konfetti” ud i én af vores kompostholdere – hurra!

Bortset (selvfølgelig) fra den såkaldte ”overophedning”-hændelse, er hele operationen gået som et urværk.

en rå skitse, lavet, da operationen (”Operation makulator”) var i planlægningsstadiet

En del af operationsscenen: nøgle –

A: makulatoren strategisk stillet på en stol

B: den overflydende brevholder, der førte til krisen

C: drinkskabet

D: arkivskabet

E: omtrentlige rute, konfettiet tog på vej til kompostholderen (1. stadium)

F: klaveret (ikke vist)

Dagens såkaldte ”Operation makulator” er løs baseret på Cooper & Schmidts berømte ”Operation Xerox-Fax”, der er blevet til lidt af en klassiker i dette feld – det må jeg nok sige, som verdens presse rapporterede på det tidspunkt, tilbage i 1996, nu for 23 år siden (kilde: Onion News).

HARTFORD, CT- Mellemledere hos Coopers & Schmidt, et Hartford-baseret forsikringsskadereguleringsfirma, har travlt med at geare op i denne uge til Operation Xerox-Fax, en tophemmelig, høj-risiko faxning mission planlagt til 23. april.

Målet med den risikable operation, som indebærer en anslået tre mellemledere, der spænder fra assisterende konto koordinatorer til regionale salgstilsynsmyndigheder, er den succesfulde kopiering, faxning og bekræftelse af Coopers & Schmidts fordelsoversigt i marts '96.

"Dette er en spændende, højrisiko-mission", siger Tom Gerosa, en associeret skadeanmedlesesregulator, der har været hos firmaet i 14 år. "Jeg beder ingen er såret."

Operation Xerox-Fax er sat til at begynde kl. 10.00 skarpt, når Coopers & Schmidt sekretær Janice D'Alessio vil lave en fotokopi af fordelingsoversigten, som hun derefter vil lægge i vicepræsident Ralph Gleicks postkasse. Når hendes del af missionen er færdig, vil D'Alessio fjerne det originale dokument fra Xerox-maskinen, gå på tværs af kontoret og aflevere det til den regionale fordeleschef Art Blaine, som afventer dokumentet i hans kabine .

Blaine betragtes af mange for at være hængslen for operationen. Ansvarlig for at dobbelttjekke fordelingsoversigten mod fordelsfilen på sin computer, skal han så transportere den sikkert til den nye kontoadministrator Terri Auletta ved faxmaskinen, som ligger mere end 30 meter fra Blaines kabine, forbi forsyningsskabet, makulatoren og den inspirerende korporative  plakat, der lyder: "Succes - hvis du tror det, kan du nå det."

"Der vil være farer uden tvivl", sagde Blaine, der blev forfremmet fra assistent til fordel for vejleder til medvejleder for seks år siden, da Ted Stram døde. "Området på kontoret jeg vil krydse er en af vores mest volatile salgschefer, der demonstrerer golfsvingninger, udgående Federal Express-pakker ligger på gulvet, listen fortsætter. Min kone er meget bekymret, men hun ved, at dette er hvad der følger med jobbet. Hun vidste, at det ikke ville være nemt, da hun giftede sig med mig. Hun er dog stærk. "

For at gøre det endnu mere spændt, er det faktum, at faxen kun kan finde sted mellem kl. 10:45 og 11:30. Hvis faxen ikke bliver sendt under dette vindue, så vil modtageren, regional assistent salgs- og fordelingschef Gary Tre-mont, sandsynligvis være ude til frokost, hvilket betyder, at faxen ikke kan sendes og få bekræftet modtagelsen indtil efter frokosttiden, hvilket kunne være så sent som klokken 14.

"Jeg vil ikke engang tale om denne mulighed," sagde Au-Letta. "Fiasko  er ikke en mulighed med dette hold."

Operations koordinator Paul McHue er overbevist om, at hans elite-gruppe af mellemledere er fuldt forberedt på sin mission.

"Vi har uddannet dag og nat i måneder til denne operation," sagde McHue. "Fotokopimaskinens blækpatron er blevet kontrolleret og genkontrolleret. Manglende hæftemaskiner er enten returneret eller udskiftet. Papirklip er placeret på strategiske punkter langs missionsruten. Faxnumre er blevet bekræftet. Haller er blevet ryddet af alle tomme kasser. Gdkendelsen er blevet modtaget fra kontorchef Nancy Lu-ber-da. Vi får kun ét skud på dette. "

Så vidt jeg ved, var operation en stor succés, med kun mindre skader og (måske) max ét dødsfald, men den er aldrig blevet overgået – det har jeg ikke nogen tvivl om.

18:00 Lois og jeg spiser aftensmad og bruger resten af aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn. De viser en interessant dokumentarfilm i serien ”Great Art”: dette afsnit handler om den berømte norske maler, Edvard Munch.

Munchs malerier er lidt triste i det hele taget, men der er også nogle mere positive imager, hvis man gør den indsats for at lede efter dem.  Lois og jeg kan godt lide den midaldrende mand i  ”Livets dans”, hvem vi uofficielt kalder ”Gary” som øgenavn  – Gary tænker åbenbart, ”jeg skal score denne kvinde i den hvide kjole”, hvilket er rart.

Livets dans (1899)

Closeup: ”Gary” og kvinden i den hvide kjole, som han håber at ”score”

Men jeg kan ikke lide tapetet i Munchs billeder af bordeller, han havde kendt – tapetet er lidt for mønstret, synes jeg. Og det giver en lidt klaustrofobisk stemning, som ville gøre klienter til at kaste op, men det springer jeg over, fordi Munchs klienter åbenbart føler sig meget gode og glæder sig til deres session med kvinden, selvom selve kvinderne ser mere ambivalente - det må jeg nok sige!

”Zum Süssen Madel” (1907): klienten (til højre) forsøger ikke at bemærke

det kvalmende, klaustrofobiske tapet, og koncentrerer sig om

sin overhængende session med den prostituerede (til højre)

”Lyst” (1907): den prostituerede (til venstre) viser klienten (til højre)

menuen af optioner og prisliste

21:00 Vi fortsætter med at se lidt fjernsyn, det seneste afsnit af sitcommen ”Not Going Out”, stjernepakket standupkomikeren Lee Mack som ”Lee” og Sally Bretton som Lucy, Lees kone.

Munchs mest berømte maleri er selvfølgelig ”Skriget”, og denne sitcom åbner med en masse skrigen, hvilket er rart.

Lucy kommer hjem og ser Lee liggende på gulvet – hun tror, han er død, og hun skriger. Men han er ikke død – han samler op stykkerne af én af Lucys vaser, som er blevet smadret.

22:00 Vi går i sengen. Lois er nu meget forkølet, ingen tvivl om det. Zzzzzzzzz!!!!