Thursday, May 02 2019

10:00 Lois and I go out into the backyard. Using a small trowel, I dig out several bucketfuls of compost through the small door at the bottom of our main compost container. It is very hard work because the compost in the container is very compacted - we did not use any compost last year because we spent spring in Australia visiting our younger daughter, Sarah.

Good grief, exhausting!

We collect several bucketfuls of compost out of our

main compost container:  very exhausting because the compost is

amazingly compacted after 2 years - yikes!

11:30 We come back into the house and relax with a cup of tea on the sofa. I take a little look at my smartphone and I see Morten Ingemann's latest cartoon strip. I get a bit of a shock, to put it mildly.

Danish artist Morten Ingemann, my favourite cartoonist

The Danish artist Ingemann is my favourite cartoonist - no doubt about that! He is particularly interested in ugly, overweight, middle-aged or elderly people, the kind of people that most cartoonists rarely pay attention to.

It’s possible that some readers could regard him as a bit sexist, and it is true that it is usually the women who tend to panic and the men who calm them down and restore a sense of peace and order. But in my opinion, it is almost as often that situation is reversed, and it is the men who panic.

In the morning's strip, however, we see the sexes in their traditional roles: the panicking wife and the unflappable  man.

An ugly, overweight wife tells her ugly obese husband  that their neighbour has borrowed the lawn-mower off them. The man responds quickly - he says they won't see “that bloody mower” ever again. The wife panics – “Why?”, she asks. Her husband then restores a sense of calm and order - he explains simply that the lawnmower in question is actually the neighbour’s.

An encouraging little vignette of marital life in one’s late 50’s / 60’s. And it’s good to know that there is a logical explanation for most phenomena that at first glance seem a little bizarre, I have to say.

12:30 We have lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a gigantic afternoon nap.

14:00 Meanwhile, Lois gets started on some genealogical research on my behalf - her plan for today is to investigate my mother's maternal grandfather Richard Howells.

It's amazing how enthusiastic she gets when she has a challenging genealogical problem to solve. It is a bit of a shame that many years ago, when we retired, she did not start her own genealogical consulting business, where for a small fortune she could have offered to research her clients' family trees. She is really in her element with this kind of research - I have no doubts about that.

Seeing Lois working on someone's family tree is a weird experience. It is a much more authoritative side of herself that she exhibits. Her normal aura is often reticent, low-profile, almost vague. But vague is certainly the last word you would associate with Lois' research style. It's as if she has become an inch or two taller. She also speaks more quickly, and with greater emphasis. And she walks faster - yikes!

15:30 I get up. Lois tells me she has discovered that Richard Howells, my mother's maternal grandfather, sadly died of suffocation in his bed in the hotel where he was the manager, the hotel owned by his father-in-law, William Roberts.

Richard had just turned 40, six days earlier. According to one of the two newspaper articles that Lois found on-line, he was known for being an "intemperate" man - Lois and I suspect that this word was a euphemism for "alcoholic", but we are not 100%  sure - the jury is still out on that one.

Death certificate: Richard's death certificate

 reports in two of the local newspapers

There had been an inquest, with the county coroner and a jury. One of the hotel's barmaids said that Richard was drunk and that she "put him to bed" at 6 pm on the Friday night. She took his jacket and boots off him and he lay down on the bed wearing the rest of his clothes. But she did not loosen his collar. She looked into the room at 10 pm and confirmed that he was asleep at that time and snoring.

When the barmaid went into the room again at 10 am the following morning (Saturday) to wake him, he was dead, with his face pressed against the pillow.

The jury's verdict was that he died of suffocation, partly because of the pillow, and partly because of the tight collar. Yikes - How dramatic! Catherine, Richard's wife, my mother's grandmother, spent the fateful night in one of the hotel's other rooms, it seems.

Family photos of Richard and Catherine

It's strange, but I always suspected that my mother was hiding from us stories of alcoholism in her family tree. She always strongly opposed even moderate alcohol consumption, probably because she was afraid that even moderate consumption could easily lead on to alcoholism.

18:30 We have  dinner and afterwards we relax in the sitting-room.

We watch a bit of television, the latest episode of the 12th (and last) season of the Big Bang Theory sitcom. After tonight there will be only 4 episodes left – sob  sob !!!!

A fun episode where Penny encourages her husband, Leonard, to become more assertive. One evening a cocky Leonard comes home from the university and tells her he wants to have sex, and then afterwards watch Star Trek Discovery with her.

Earlier in the episode, there is an interesting discussion about Hemingway's habit of eating late at night, at 10 o'clock or thereabouts.

This scene reminds me of a fun Seinfeld episode where Jerry is staying with his parents in Florida. His father wakes him early in the morning, at 5 a.m., knocking on Jerry's door, saying that he wanted to vacuum Jerry's room. It gave me a bit of a shock when I discovered that I sympathised more with Jerry's father than with Jerry himself - yikes! That was the moment I suspect I first realised I was getting old - yikes (again) !!!!!

Happy days !!!!!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz !!!!!

Danish translation

10:00 Lois og jeg går ud i baghaven. Ved hjælp af en lille murske graver jeg flere spandfulde kompost frem gennem den lille dør i bunden af vores hovesagelige kompostbeholder. Det er meget hårdt arbejde, fordi komposten i beholderen er meget sammenpresset – vi brugte ikke nogen kompost sidste år, fordi vi tilbragte foråret i Australien på besøg hos vores yngste datter, Sarah.

Du godeste, udmattende!

vi samler flere spandfulde kompost ud af vores

hovedsagelige kompostbeholder: meget udmattende, fordi komposten er

utrolig sammenpresset efter 2 år – yikes!

11:30 Vi kommer tilbage ind i huset og slapper af med en kop te i sofaen. Jeg kigger lidt på min smartphone og jeg ser Morten Ingemanns seneste tegneserie. Jeg får lidt af et chok, for at sige mildt.

Danske Morten Ingemann, min yndlingstegner

Danske Ingemann er min yndlingstegner  – ingen tvivl om det! Han interesserer sig især for grimme, overvægtige, midaldrende eller ældre folk, de slags mennesker, som de fleste tegnere sjældent giver opmærksomhed til.

Det kan være, at nogle læsere betragter ham som lidt sexistisk, og det er sandt, at det normalt er kvinderne, der har tendens til at gå i panik, og mændene, der beroliger dem, og genopretter en sans for fred og orden. Men efter min mening, er det nærmest så ofte, at situation er omvendt, og det er mændene, der går i panik.

I formiddagens tegnestribe imidlertid ser vi kønnene i deres traditionel roller: den paniske kone, og den uforstyrrelige mand.

En grim, overvægtig kone fortæller sin grimme overvægtige mand, at naboen har lånt plæneklipperen af dem. Manden reagerer hurtigt – han siger, at de ikke ser den mere. Konen går i panik – hvorfor, spørger hun. Manden genopretter en sans for fred og ro – han erklarer, at den pågældende plæneklipper faktisk er naboens.

Det er godt at vide, at der er en logisk forklaring til de fleste fænomener, der ved første øjekast synes lidt bizarre, det må jeg nok sige.

12:30 Vi spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng for at tage en gigantisk eftermiddagslur.

14:00 I mellemtiden går Lois i gang med at gøre lidt genealogisk forskning på min vegne – hendes hensigt i dag er at undersøgende min mors morfar Richard.

Det er utroligt, hvor enthusiastisk hun bliver, når hun har en udfordrende genealogisk problem til at løse. Det er lidt af en skam, at hun for mange år siden, da vi gik på pension, ikke grundlagde sit eget genealogiske rådgivningsfirma, hvor hun for en lille formue skulle tilbyde at forske sine klienters familietræ. Hun er virkelig i sit rette element med denne slags forskning – det har jeg ikke nogen tvivl om.

Det er en løjerlig oplevelse at se Lois i gang med at arbejde på en eller andens familietræ. Det er en meget mere myndig og autoritær side, hun viser sig af sig selv her. Hendes normale udstråling er ofte tilbageholdende, stilfærdig, næsten lidt veg. Men veg er i hvert fald det sidste ord man ville forbinde med Lois’ forskningsmæssige opførsel. Det er som om, hun er blevet 4-5 cm højere. Hun taler også hurtigere, og med større eftertryk. Og hun går hurtigere – yikes!

15:30 Jeg står op. Lois fortæller mig, at hun har opdaget, at Richard Howells, min mors morfar, desværre døde af kvælning i sin seng i det hotel, hvor han var manager, faktisk det hotel, hvor hans svigerfar, William Roberts, var ejeren.

Richard var lige fyldt 40 år 6 dage tidligere. I en af de to avisartikler, som Lois fandt på nettet, atår det, at han blev kendt for at være en ”umådeholden” mand – Lois og jeg mistænker, at dette ord var en eufemisme for ”alkoholiker”, men det er vi ikke helt sikre på - juryen er stadig ude om det.

Richards dødsattest

rapporter i to af de lokale aviser

Der havde været en retslig undersøgelse,  med grevskabets coroner og en jury. En af hotellets barpiger sagde, at Richard var beruset og hun ”satte ham i seng” kl 18 den fredag aften. Hun tog hans jakke og støvler af ham og han lagde sig på sengen iført resten af sit tøj. Men hun løsnede ikke hans krave. Hun kiggede ind i værelset kl 22, og bekræftede, at han på det tidspunkt lå og sov, og snorkede.

Da barpigen gik ind på værelset igen kl 10 den følgende formiddag (lørdag) for at vække ham, var han død, med ansigtet presset ind mod hovedpuden.

Juryens dom var, at han døde af kvælning, delvis på grund af hovedpuden, og delvis på grund at den stramme krave. Yikes – hvor dramatisk! Catherine, Richards kone, altså min mors mormor, tilbragte den skæbnesvangre nat i et af hotellets andre værelser, lader det til.

Familens fotoer af Richard og Catherine

Det er mærkeligt, men jeg mistænkte altid, at min mor skjulte for os historier om alkoholisme i sit familietræ. Hun modsatte sig altid meget stærkt selve den moderate alkoholforbrug, formentlig fordi hun var bange for, at endda en moderat forbrug sagtens kunne blive til misbrug.

18:30 Vi spiser aftensmad og slapper af i stuen.

Vi ser lidt fjernsyn, den seneste episode af de 12. (og allersidste) sæson af Big Bang Theory-sitcommen. Efter i aften vil der være kun 4 afsnit tilbage – hulk hulk !!!!

BBListing

En morsomt episode, hvor Penny opmuntrer sin mand, Leonard, til at blive mere selvhævdende. En aften kommer han hjem fra universitetet og fortæller hende, han har lyst til at have sex, og bagefter kigge på Star Trek- Discovery  sammen med hende.

Tidligere i episoden er der en interessant diskussion om Hemingways vane af at spise sent på aftenen, ved 22-tiden eller deromkring.

Denne scene minder mig om en morsom Seinfeld-episode, hvor Jerry er på besøgt hos sine forældre i Florida. Hans far vækker ham tidligt om morgenen, kl 5, med at banke på Jerrys dør, sigenede, at han ønskede at støvsuge Jerrys værelse. Det gav mig lidt af et chok, da jeg opdagede, at jeg sympatiserede mere med Jerrys far, end med selve Jerry – yikes! Det var det tidspunkt, mistænker jeg, at jeg først opdagede, at jeg er blevet gammel – yikes (igen) !!!!!

Lykkelige dage !!!!!

22:00 Vi går i seng – zzzzzz!!!!!