Friday August 3rd 2024 "Still keeping milking-goats? Well, maybe it's time to 'cash them in' ! "

Dear reader, here's a question. Do YOU keep sheep, or milking-goats maybe, in your back garden? A lot of us do, don't we, although not personally, as far as my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I are concerned, living here in Malvern, Worcestershire, in our tiny new-build house and back garden. 

But yes, even we acknowledge that sheep and goats are certainly becoming less useful as a "nest-egg" for a rainy day - that's for sure!

Did you catch that story yesterday, on the Onion News West Worcestershire Desk website? It was kind of a wake-up call for any remaining sheep-and-goat-keepers among us wasn't it - and not in a good way, to put it mildly!

Made you stop and think, I'll bet ! And it's not as long ago as you think, that sheep, and their owners, were responsible for a general reign of terror in our allegedly "genteel" town of Malvern and its environs, as I realise this afternoon when Lois reads out to me some juicy historical titbits from her 2 current library books about the history of our town.

Lois's current library books on the history of our town 

As recently as 1956, sheep were said to have been swaggering about the town as if they owned it, "invading gardens, jumping fences, breaking down hedges" to eat residents' carefully manicured flowers and vegetables, "fouling pavements, bleating day and night", and "seeking food wherever they could get it, "including in shops in the middle of Malvern". 

Let's hope at least that they never got into Waitrose, the so-called "posh people's supermarket" (!). [The Malvern branch of Waitrose didn't open till 1999, so the sheep would have a lot of trouble trying to do that in 1956 (!) - Ed]

And efforts to compel the animals' owners to keep their sheep and goats under control were constantly being thwarted by vague, amateurish appeals to common law, and other crazy legal precedents.

What a crazy world they lived in, round here in these parts, in those far-off days !!!

16:00 Yes, you've guessed it! It's 4 pm, and Lois and I are relaxing on the sofa with a mini-magnum ice-cream (one each - I bought a pack of them the other day, and I'm not the "skinflint" I'm often painted as, I can assure you (!). I bought them for myself, but I let Lois have one if she asks nicely (!).

[That's enough exclamation marks in brackets (!) ! - Ed]

Lois and I unwind on the sofa this afternoon

with a mini-magnum ice-cream each

Yesterday's news from Bell End about "cards only" has unsettled us, there's no doubt about that, and the whole "furore" has made us long for the good old days, when the news in summer was just the so-called "silly season" stuff, cobbled together in underworked news-rooms by reporters desperate for "something to take up a few column inches with".

Do you remember?

And, by coincidence, the now sadly defunct Fleet Street "silly season" is fondly recalled in Lois's copy of "The Week", which "plopped" through our letter-box today, and which she's reading out to me in the above photo as she sucks on my mini-magnum.

Yes, "Stop the World We Want to Get Off!" is the full-throated cry of Lois and me too!

Do YOU remember "Yvonne the Runaway Cow" from 2011 ?

Happy days !!!!

17:00 Lois and I linger longer on the sofa. Well, we're entitled to relax occasionally! [What do you mean 'occasionally'?! - Ed]

You see, we've had a bit of a hard day today, getting our new-build house ready for this weekend's "friendly invasion" by our daughter Sarah and her 11-year-old twins Lily and Jessica.

We've got to hide any embarrassing objects, obviously, and then tidy up, dust and vacuum, get their beds ready - I'm sure you know the kind of thing! And we had to nip out this morning to Clive's Fruit Farm to get a few food items, to supplement today's massive delivery from Ocado, the online supermarket. Busy busy busy!

flashback to this morning: we drive over to Clive's Fruit Farm

near Upton-on-Severn, for some extra fruit and meat items

And if YOU are lucky enough to be grandparents who sometimes host your children and grandchildren, why not pause a moment and think back to when YOU had young children, and you were doing the same thing to your own parents, i.e. descending on them with your "brood" and filling their quiet house with all kinds of noises they'd become unaccustomed to (!). 

When Lois and I were in our thirties, and living in Cheltenham, we used to "descend" regularly on Lois's parents in Cutteslowe Park, Oxford. And we never went anywhere else much in those days, when our kids - Alison and Sarah - were very small.

flashback to 1977: Lois and me, both aged 31, with our

2-year-old daughter Alison and new-born Sarah

Poor Lois's parents !!!!

And if you want proof of all that, just look at my Civil Service "leave card" for 1977-80, on which all my leave requests were (1) "recommended", (2) "approved", and (3) "noted". Because of the so-called "sensitive" nature of my job I always had to give contact details when asking permission to take leave, in case my "special" knowledge was needed to cover a national emergency, or the like - it was all a bit of a madness, wasn't it.

 

my work leave-card for 1977-1980: Lois and I, 

with 2 small children, never went away anywhere much 

other than to Lois's parents in Oxford

Let's just hope that, by our family visits, we gave Lois's parents as much joy in the 1970's and 1980's as our own children and grandchildren give us, today, now that, incredibly, we find that we're 78: yikes !!!! Because that's what it's all about, when it comes down to it.

19:30 Today, Sarah and the twins arrive about 7:30 pm. Lois and I are starving, because we normally eat about six o'clock, but I'm going to let that one slide - their arrival is well worth the wait.

(left to right): our daughter Sarah, her twins Lily

and Jessica, Lois and me

The mini-heatwave here in the south of the UK is coming to an end now, and from tomorrow the "highs" in daily temperatures will be back to their normal 60's Fahrenheit range (high teens Celsius) - phew, thank goodness it won't be a scorcher any more haha!

This isn't the case for our other daughter, Alison, who is holidaying in Mauritius this week with husband Ed and Josie (17), Rosalind (16) and Isaac (14). 

flashback to Thursday: Alison and family's flight from London's

Gatwick Airport to Mauritius, way down south, in the Indian Ocean

Today, Alison sends us some pics and also puts some up on social media.

our granddaughter Josie (17) sitting under the beach "umbrella", 

while her sister Rosalind (16) relaxes on a lounger

Rosalind

Josie - and in the background you can see our son-in-law

Ed and our grandson Isaac going back to their accommodation

Phew - what a scorcher!  Or as the family's hotel receptionist might say, "Ouf, quelle chaleur!"

The official language in Mauritius is English - it was a British colony from 1810, when we "seized" it from the French, who were using it as a base to interfere with our commercial shipping, until 1965, when we gave the islands their independence. So either language will get you by, Alison says.

They're having a great time, Alison adds. Lois and I, however, aren't really "hot weather animals" - we prefer it cool, which is a handy trait to have, if you live in the UK haha, let's face it!

The nearest we've ever come to being in a place like Mauritius was when we were staying for a couple of weeks in Florida, during our 3-year residence in the US, from 1982 to 1985. Lois and I spent a couple of torrid nights on the island of Sanibel, with our daughters Alison (then 9) and Sarah (then 7).

flashback to November 1984: me and Lois (both 38),

less than half our current age, seen here with our daughter 

Sarah (then 7 years of age) on Sanibel Island, Florida

November 1984: our two daughters Alison (9) and Sarah (7)

with Lois in the background, on Sanibel Island, Florida

Phew, what a scorcher, Lois and I probably said at the time. But what's the "Floridan", or the American for that? I think we should be told, don't you?

The website verbling.com recommends "It's hotter than blue blazes!", which sounds good to me. I'll try that out in Malvern next summer and see if it's generally understandable by the natives round here. The whole subject could turn into quite an interesting thesis, with French results etc included, after the appropriate research of course. 

[I can't wait! - Ed]

Don't worry you'll be the first to see my findings right here on this blog - so watch this space!

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!