Wednesday August 7th 2024 "How old were YOU when your first book review got published?!!!"

May I ask you yet another personal question, dear Reader? [Would it make any difference if anybody answered no? - Ed]. How old were YOU when you got your first Book Review published by my old schoolfriend Jeremy in his esteemed "rag", the Times Literary Supplement (TLS)?

I'm guessing that most of us, and by that I mean, the majority of those of us who are of the "baby boom" generation of the late 1940's, were well into our twenties before our first review was published in the TLS by Jeremy and his "gang" of crazy subeditors. Am I right, or am I right?  Yes, I thought so!

["Jeremy" left that job in 1990, Colin. Just saying! - Ed]

But times change and we must change with them, that's what I say, because this week I saw the first review by an under-5 that I've ever ever seen in the TLS. And if you don't believe me, check your copy of the TLS, and do it right NOW before you do anything else! The story was all over this week's local Onion News, as you'll know if you live in West Worcestershire!

four-year-old local East Leake toddler, Sophia Newsome (right) whose 

scathing review of "Mr Pottle's Green Garden" has sent shock waves 

through the village's "army" of admirers of children's authoress Janet Whipple

Quite a damning review by little Sophia, isn't it! And I'm quite expecting "Mr Pottle's Green Garden to "sink without trace", especially here in West Worcestershire, where the 4-year-old book reviewer Sophia has developed quite a large and loyal "fan base"!

And I don't expect authoress Janet Whipple will be any too pleased, either, to put it mildly, and it may be that she'll have to do another round of local book-signings to recover her reputation in 'these here parts'!

Let's hope she doesn't have a similar ordeal to the one endured by world-famous writer Stephen King when he once ventured into East Leake to do a book-signing at the village Waterstones! Remember what happened on that famous, or should I say, infamous (!) occasion?!!!

I don't think the little Waterstones in East Leake is expecting best-selling author King back any time soon, after that ordeal, to put it mildly (!).

And if that "yarn" isn't 100% typical of the folks in East Leake, I don't know what is! The place where they famously don't know their Stephen King from their James Patterson, or even their collective 'arses' from their collective elbows - pardon my French!

By coincidence, my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I are thinking of book-signings today, as we go for our morning walk and coffee-break by Poolbrook Common, here in Malvern, which isn't a million miles away from East Leake village itself, come to think of it.

Lois and I take our morning walk over Poolbrook Common...

...before stopping for a coffee and a piece of cake

with the other old codgers at the Poolbrook Kitchen 

and Coffee Shop, served by owner Andrew [not shown]

Can I be frank with you? [Don't get too carried away, Colin, or I'll have to ask your GP to 'up' your medication. Just saying! - Ed]

Well, just yesterday, as it happens, I ordered a couple of autobiographical books by octogenarian actress Miriam Margoyles, Harry Potter's "Professor Sprout" - books which we pick up later today from the Malvern Book Cooperative, using a Fathers Day book token from my daughter Alison. And this morning we're pondering, over our coffee, about our chances of getting the books signed by Miriam herself.

I was prompted to buy the books after seeing authoress Miriam on TV a few days ago, presenting the first programme in her latest "celebrity travelogue" series - this one again being about Australia, her favourite overseas country.

If you saw the programme, do you remember seeing Miriam interviewing 'Zoe', that Perth sex-worker, and seeing Miriam handling the plastic "tools of the trade", and other aids that Zoe uses in her sex-work for the local community?

Fascinating stuff, wasn't it! And Lois and I think Miriam may well be eager to sign our copy of her autobiographical reminiscences, for reasons which will become clear.

Lois and I might even be in the books ourselves, for two reasons (!). About 25 years ago we shared a long, and otherwise empty, railway carriage with Miriam on our way to Paris for a 4-day break. And although we didn't talk to her, we did watch her exit the carriage briefly to go to the loo, and she passed our seats on her way back to her own seat, which was nice. 

Maybe, just maybe, Miriam has recalled the incident in one of her books - well, we'll see: so watch this space!

[I'm not going to hold my breath on that one! - Ed]

The second reason that Lois, at least, might be in the book, is that, in her schooldays at Oxford High School, Miriam was a classmate of one of Lois's oldest friends, Jen, who lives in Kennington, Oxford, and whom we visit from time to time. An old school photograph from those times was printed in Radio Times back in April 2022:

flashback to April 2022: Radio Times publishes Miriam's old 1950's school photo 

from Oxford High School - my graphics team (i.e. me) has put a green circle 

round the face of Lois's old friend Jen, who's sitting in the row behind Miriam

It's just possible - and this is maybe a long shot, but who knows (?) stranger things happen at sea (!) - but it's just possible that Miriam may remember Jen talking about Lois, and may even have mentioned the fact in one of these 2 autobiographical "tomes" - either the first one, "This Much Is True" or the second one, "Oh, Miriam", the two books that we picked up from the Malvern Book Cooperative bookshop today.

I wonder..... !!!!

our local bookshop, the Malvern Book Cooperative

17:00 More medical hassles for me today. At 10:20 am I dropped into our local GP surgery to take another blood test, from Nurse Emma this time, and now, just after 5 pm, Dr Rebecca calls me and says they'd like to put me on blood-thinners for a while, just as a precaution. 

the local NHS medical centre where 

our GP surgery is housed on part of the ground floor

What a load of malarkey! I suppose I should be flattered that I'm getting this level of attention from both Emma and Rebecca - but Lois says it's merely a hazard of being 78. 

To be honest, however, I've got much better things to do with my time than keep thinking about when my next "dose" of this or that is due to be taken. So far it's all been relatively simple - just one statin every night on going to bed. Lois has the same dosage, but she often forgets to take it, so she can always hand some of her unused ones over to me when I run out.  [She's hardly going to be giving you her used ones, is she, Colin (!) - Ed]

It was only last December that Lois and I finally, after 51 years of being married, managed to completely "sync" our medication needs, inspired by those local girls in the lovely Worcestershire village of Bell End, who'd just managed to "sync" their periods - remember?

those flatmates in the lovely Worcestershire village of Bell End,

who made world headlines last spring after syncing their periods

flashback to the beginning of December: Lois and I finally

achieve the syncing of our shared need for statins.

20:00 Evening at last, and we settle down on the couch to watch some relaxing TV, the first half of the second programme in the fascinating PBS America series on the Lost English Colonists of Roanoke Island, North Carolina.

This was the first ever English settlement in North America, founded in 1587, when Elizabeth I was on the throne, but within a couple of years of the colony's foundation, its members mysteriously disappeared without trace.

There's been a lot of controversy surrounding the colonists' disappearance. Were they all murdered by the local Croatoan Indians? Or did they simply move to safety on nearby Hatteras Island, where the Croatoans maybe helped these (mainly) middle-class Londoners to survive, and maybe even ended up interbreeding with them?

map showing Roanoke Island, North Carolina, and also

nearby Hatteras Island where the "lost colonists" may have

sought refuge with the local Croatoan Indian tribe

It's two totally different, competing narratives, and Lois and I didn't know that white supremacists have made a lot of the first theory - that the colonists all got murdered by the natives. And the supremacists have particularly focused on the fate of Virginia Dare, grand-daughter of the colony's leader, John White. 

Virginia was the first English child to be born in North America, just a few weeks after this group of middle-class Londoners arrived in the region, born to White's daughter Eleanor.

flashback to 1937: US postal stamp

Little Virginia has also been seen pictured in the labels on wine bottles, and also on tobacco tins.

flashback to the 1870's: Virginia Dare

as pictured on a tin of tobacco

What madness !!!

In the series, British archaeologist Professor Mark "Laughing Mark" Horton, and his "faithful Indian companion" Scott (who claims to be a Croatoan descendent) are hoping to find evidence to support the theory that the colonists weren't murdered by the natives, but actually sought refuge with them, and in some cases at least, went to bed with them into the bargain, which would have been nice. 

Mark and Scott think that if the colonists did in fact move to Hatteras Island to get help from the local Croatoans, their first move would have been to found their own settlement there, and this is what the pair are trying to discover, and maybe dig up, in this second and final programme in the series.

So fingers crossed! 

Fascinating stuff, though, isn't it!  [If you say so! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!