Here's a question and a half for you, dear Readers! Supposing you were the only specimen of your sex left alive on the Earth, and it was your job to ensure the survival of our species, would you be up to the job?
It's a question that's very much exercising the minds of me and my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois this morning. We seem to be the only people left on Earth as we leave civilisation behind for our walk, striking out into the fields beyond even the stile where Hayes Bank Road finishes, here in Malvern, Worcestershire, under the lee of the 700-million-year-old Malvern Hills, once thought to be the very end of the world.
My medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I seemingly
reach "the very end of the world" on our morning walk today
under the lee of the 700-million-year-old Malvern Hills
map indicating the house known as "1A The Farthings",
on Hayes Bank Road, Malvern, which for long
was thought to mark the end of the known world
And if you live in rural West Worcestershire, like Lois and me, I bet you were "tickled pink" to see this local example of the power of nature right here, in this week's local Onion News.
Our "walk on the wild side" over, Lois and I return to find our car still there, exactly where we parked it on an otherwise deserted Churchdown Road, and the sleepy town of Malvern still intact, to the north and west. Phew! Now we can leave it to other couples, perhaps younger and more vigorous, to "keep the human show on the road", which is a relief, to put it mildly!
Yes, you've guessed it! They are all things that, for best practice, you need to have a minimum of two people present before you can proceed.
we return to our car, to find it parked exactly where we left it,
right here on an otherwise deserted Churchdown Road, which is a relief!
21:00 We get ready for bed on the sofa this evening, watching
this week’s edition of one of our favourite TV quizzes, Only Connect, which
tests lateral thinking.
And it’s immediately apparent tonight, from presenter Victoria
Coren-Mitchell’s introductions, that we’re going to be seeing two “crack” teams
in action this evening, that’s for sure!
On our left we have “The Hopsters” – “united by their passion for a pint”, with team captain Ashwini Kamath, a solicitor who had a childhood crush on Virgil from Thunderbirds.
Hopsters' team-captain Ashwini Kamath, with
childhood crush Virgil from Thunderbirds [inset]
And on our right....
And on our right are “The Sprouters”, “united by a craze for
competitive vegetable-growing”.
Presenter Victoria, a keen amateur gardener, confesses to the "Sprouters" team that it’s now months since
St Patrick’s Day and she still hasn’t put her potatoes in – and before the quiz starts, she asks Sprouters’ team-captain Charlie
Bowen for his comments.
Bowen has to admit, however, that his team members “don’t grow”.
They’re merely spectators, and they only see the finished product.
Presenter Victoria’s reaction to this news, however, is
unnecessarily contemptuous, however, Lois and I feel.
On the other hand, maybe Victoria’s contempt is justified.
What do YOU think? Lois and I will be right here waiting for your postcards, needless to
say, and we're expecting a "bumper bundle" on this one, that's for sure!
As always tonight, there are plenty of interesting questions for the teams. How about this "doozy".... see if YOU can see the link between these seemingly unrelated "things".
Who knew, for example, that one witness wasn't enough to convict, at any UK treason trial, for 250 long years, from 1695 to 1945? In 1695 it was enshrined in law, a stipulation which lasted till the end of World War II, that you needed a minimum of two witnesses to convict somebody of treason.
"But what is the situation now?", Lois and I wonder, and Victoria doesn't comment on this, unfortunately. Is one witness enough now? Do you not need any witnesses at all? Seems a bit 'dodgy'! Do you need 12 witnesses, 'all good men and true'? I think we should be told, don't you!
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!
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