Friday January 31st 2025 "Do YOU sometimes read magazines? Most of us do don't we, especially on buses!"

Well, Dear Readers, January is almost over, and it'll be February tomorrow. And as always, at this time of year, the UK's magazines are rolling out their new "titles" at local news-stands, vying for your attention. Have you picked yours up yet? Onion News today is just full-to-bursting on February 2025's new titles, and as always, there are winners and losers - did Onion's "splash feature" (page 94) catch your eye, I wonder ?

Yes, we're living in exciting times, so don't "hang about" (!). Pop down the road and visit your local "Wymans" before the new titles sell out - just saying!

Wow, I bet that new title is going to "hit the spot" with all but a few of my readers, if my "postbag" this morning, crammed with your postcards (!), is anything to go by (!). But if that one doesn't grab you, this one will - just look at this "doozy" (!).

[That's enough exclamation marks in brackets (!) - Ed]

[That's enough Onion News stories! - Ed]

So tell me, Friends, is that a "must buy"? Or is that a "must buy"? What a "doozy" of a read that's going to be, and no mistake! And it'll make, e.g., that dreaded Cheltenham to Lancaster 3-hour M5/M6 "slog" flash by in a - well, in a flash, won't it, that's for sure!

But wait - there's more! Sample these other "doozy-class" headlines from this morning's print edition - there's scads of them, Yes, they're almost "legion" again!

14:30 Everybody - but everybody - is talking magazines today, it seems, and the word "magazine" even crops up in my online meeting this afternoon.

I'm talking about the monthly online meeting of the Cheltenham U3A's "History of English" group, which I, "for my sins" am the leader of. And this afternoon, this month's speaker, Darryl, explains about the multiple meanings of the word "magazine", originally an old Arabic word for a store-house, but still popping up in various European languages:

Darryl's slide about various meanings of "magazine" in English and

other European languages, encompassing department stores

and arms stores, the bullet-compartment in firearms etc.

I've moved home twice since first taking up this Cheltenham "old codger" group's un-coveted (!) "leader" role in 2021, first, abandoning Cheltenham to settle in Malvern, Worcestershire, in 2022, and now, this month (Jan 2025), moving even further away, to Liphook, Hampshire. 

However, despite my "keep moving round the country" tactics, I'm still the "group-leader" for this Cheltenham-based group, which is a madness. I still can't persuade the other members to bully one of the group's "local Cheltenham old-codgers" to take on my mantle, so I'm probably going to be "stuck with it" now, for the duration.  What madness !!!

We get a fascinating talk today that Darryl gives us on zoom, nevertheless. He's a former schoolteacher, and so, unlike most of our members, he knows how to "kick ass" in the "presentation" field, no doubt about that. Just look at these doozies!

What do these two marriages have in common, i.e. Franz Ferdinand, wife and family,

and the Duke & Duchess of Windsor? 

Yes, you've guessed it. They were both "morganatic" marriages, from the German "morgengabe" (literally morning gift): where the wife got a wedding-night with the groom, and then a bonus souvenir gift from the groom in the morning, but nothing else after that, in the sense that her children wouldn't inherit any titles, money or property etc - what madness !!!!! [That's enough madnesses! - Ed]

And what do the following things have in common - a camper van, French "champignons" (i.e mushrooms), a champion showcasing his trophy, a bunch of bell-ringers, and a university campus?

Well, they all derive ultimately from the Latin word "campus", basically meaning a field, and specifically a level field, which then expanded to include camp-sites, field mushrooms, battlefields, sports fields, and university sites. 

Level fields are the best kind of fields for all kinds of stuff: sports and battles are "fairer", and, when it comes to camping, take a tip from my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and me: always try to find a level field for your tent, if you don't want rainwater splashing down the hill and making you and your partner's sleeping bag all soggy - makes sense, doesn't it! Be fair haha!

take a tip from my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and me:

try to pitch your tent in a level field, so you

don't get rainwater "coursing through" and making

your sleeping bag all soggy - you know it makes sense!

"But what about the bell-ringers, Colin?", I hear you cry.  [Not me, I'm off to bed. I've got my "snuggaroos" on already (!) - Ed]

Well, seeing as how you're obviously "gagging" to know the explanation (!), it's all to do with funeral urns, which were traditionally made of bronze, and were shaped, well, like, well, like a funeral urn, and made specifically to put the dead person's ashes in. And the Romans, and later the Italians found that they could get all their best bronze from a flatland area of Italy called Campania. 

And, you see, Darryl explains, bronze bells look a bit like bronze funeral urns, so why not call bells "campane" (Italian)? People had noticed that bronze funeral urns make a dickens of a noise if you accidentally knock them (oops!!!), and so somebody somewhere decided that bronze would also be a good material for bells, and would make a nice big noise if you wanted to attract people's attention. It's a story that's starting to fit together at last, isn't it (!)

So what better word can you choose for a bell-ringer in English than "campanologist"? It originated in the 17th century, when people in England had developed a liking for words ending in "-ology" and "-ologist", arguing that it made any activity or study sound so much more "academic" and serious. So a "no-brainer", again.

See? Simples! Go on admit it, you know it makes sense haha!!!

But wouldn't you know it? We Brits are out-of-step again with the rest of Europe, when it comes to bell-ringing. To make the bells' trademark sound, Continental bellringers move the bell and keep the "clapper" steady, while British bellringers keep the bell steady and move the "clapper" (or vice versa).

What madness !!! And no wonder General de Gaulle tried to keep Britain out of the EU, or "Common Market" as it was known in the 1960's.

flashback to 1963, and General de Gaulle of France's

first attempt to keep Britain out of the Common Market,

today's European Union

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed. I've gone already! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzz!!!!