Danskcolin: Tuesday February 11th 2025 "Have YOU ever starred in a TV ad, where you weren't allowed to just 'be yourself'?"

Yes, Dear Reader - this "stinker" of a question will test your powers of recall, that's for sure! And here's the thing - have you ever starred in a TV ad where you weren't left to just "be yourself", and maybe not go overboard for the product, or perhaps to look less than enchanted with it, or maybe just pretend that somehow everything's "AOK" with the part of the so-called "universe" that's got your name on it?

I think that most of us have, haven't we, at some point in our lives, and, in the case of my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and me, several times! After all, we have been officially diagnosed as "clinically old", so we're allowed to make such claims, if anybody is (!).

At last, it's becoming known as an issue, anyway, which is nice. Witness this morning's Onion News no less - the East Hampshire print edition, which "plopped" through our letterbox here in Liphook, Hampshire the other day.

At least it's nice to see that Kate, Duchess of Cornwall for one, is at last being taken seriously with at least one representative of our national press, which is now focusing on the issues she feels deeply about, which marks a significant step forward, Lois and I believe.

And I'm sure you know which of our news-stands' heavyweights alone had the courage to take this new approach to reporting the Duchess, don't you!

So let's say a quick "hats off" to the UK's (in this writer's view) foremost political magazine Private Eye, which definitely has its heart firmly in the right place, despite the sometimes quirky, humorous "take" on current affairs that can get its management into trouble, to put it mildly!

Private Eye really seems to have the monopoly at the moment when it comes to royal stories. Did you see this "doozy" of a scoop, in the self-same issue, would you believe?

Yes, yes, I know the story's been officially denied now, by both Eon Productions and the Palace, but at least it's brought that vexed issue of "Who's going to be the next James Bond?" out in the open at last, after years of being "swept under the carpet", which is a healthy "sign of perhaps more enlightened times", to put it mildly!

me showcasing this week's Private Eye, which

has turned into something of a "Royal Special Issue",

which is nice!

The big question on everybody's lips in this part of Hampshire is "When will Eon Productions have the courage to make a beloved pet dog the new Bond?

If and when this happens, and it's beginning to feel more like a "when" now, than just an "if", then mine and Lois's daughter Alison, who lives in nearby Headley, has the perfect canine candidate to put forward for the role.

Step forward, the family's intrepid pet Danish dog Sika, who was turning heads recently at nearby Frensham Little Pond, when, without a sign of hesitation, he jumped into the water to chase an evil duck - later dubbed "Duckfinger" - that was suspected to be plotting world domination: a claim later denied by the duck, to be fair.

Do you remember the pictures from my blog, pictures that later "went viral", at least in East Hampshire (!) ?

flashback to February 6th - Danish dog Sika (ringed) tries to catch for his lunch

a duck then plotting world domination, watched by our daughter Alison (49),

and fellow-dog Bjørn, plus a crowd of interested spectators (not shown)

I wonder.....!

[Is that all you two "noggins" have done today, Colin: read your copy of "Private Eye" and written a load of nonsense about it? - Ed]

Well, seeing as how you're asking, we've actually been about as busy as a poor pair of "old codgers" can be, picking up some medication from the pharmacy, booking Lois her this year's routine blood test at the surgery, buying some "sinful" cakes at the bakery, and then getting on the couch to scoff down the cakes and drool over the menu from the local Thai restaurant, the Green Dragon, which we've booked for a Friday's Valentine's Day lunch.

Busy busy busy haha!!!!

our day - pharmacy, surgery, bakery, then booking Valentine's Day lunch at the

Green Dragon Thai Restaurant, and finally finishing up on the couch

with some "sinful" cakes from the Bakery, plus the Green Dragon's online menu

Incidentally we haven't made our choices yet from the menu, so it isn't too late for you to "weigh in" with your "input" (postcards only!!!) - you'll find the menu on line, at Green Dragon Thai Menu.

Nothing too "heavy", mind, remember it's only a lunch, and Lois and I will have to "work it off" afterwards, or, more likely "sleep it off", during our usual scheduled "afternoon nap-time".

Just saying !

21:00 We go to bed on intrepid Channel 5 presenter Ben Fogle's latest escapades, this time re-creating Victorian missionary David Livingstone's epic 19th century expedition across Africa to try and find the source of the Nile.

Yes, as the "blurb" on the Radio Times "blurb page" (above) indicates, it's weird to imagine the original party setting off across the continent on foot, marching under a scorching sun in thick woollen tweed trousers, in temperatures of around 100 degrees Fahrenheit (38C). In Victorian times, only young boys were permitted to wear shorts, so trousers would have been an automatic choice.

Trekking across Southern Africa looking for the Nile's source (you were looking in the wrong place, David, sorry, just saying!!!!), Livingstone's party eventually reached what the natives had charmingly named Moshi-oa-tunya, or "Smoke-that-thunders Falls". Here Livingstone changed the name of this spectacular wonder-of-the-world for all time to "Victoria Falls", after our then Queen, much as people today are renaming all major roads in the US "Donald J Trump Highways", so you see, it's nothing new (!). In those days maps of Africa south of the Sahara simply didn't exist, and the "developed world" had a better knowledge of the geography of the moon than it had about most of Africa, as the programme points out.

Now, here comes my slight niggle about the series, so take cover (!).....you have been warned (!!!!) !!!!

You all know that there isn't a couple in the land "woker" than Lois and me - is that the correct comparative? [No! And I'd like some documentary evidence for that assertion anyway! - Ed], but even we become a bit irritated tonight by the programme-makers continual, obsessive desire to avoid suggestions of white man's triumphalism in recreating Livingstone's epic journey. Ben Fogle, who normally presents programmes on his own, is tonight joined by a black fellow-presenter, the charismatic Dwayne Fields - nothing wrong with Dwayne, but you can see that he's been brought in as a defence against any criticisms by the UK's very vocal "woke" lobbyists.

Recall that Livingstone, son of a lowly-born Scottish mill-worker was a steadfast opponent of slavery worldwide all his life.

However Dwayne is unhappy, for instance, that Livingstone changed the name of the falls to Victoria Falls.

All right, Dwayne - don't forget that it all happened a long time ago now!

And you can see also that there's even nervousness in the programme about the suggestion that Fogle himself should dress up in a "white man's-style" pith helmet, even though it would have been much more effective at protecting him from the sun that the totally unsuitable Victorian "smoking cap" that Fogle eventually decides on.