Yes, Dear Friends, are YOU always into the latest "culture" - whatever it happens to be. And have you ever thought you might be perhaps a bit TOO much into it?
My medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I are "old codgers" - we make no bones about that. But we deliberately avoid getting too much into "old codger culture", a trap which many of our "old codger" friends fall into.
Although superficially old-looking (see photo above - left), as a quick example, we actually relish getting "down with the kids" and we like nothing better than to bop around in our sitting-room (or "bopping room" as we call it (!) to the latest "sounds", like "happening" group Right Said Fred's latest 'waxing', "I'm Too Sexy (For My Shirt)", which surprisingly "samples" ageing pop star Taylor Swift's "Look What You Made Me Do".
[That's enough 'quote marks' for today! - Ed]
Did you not see it? It was in the Daily Express haha!
And if YOU'RE old, try and do the same, won't you (!), if you've got the strength (!), that is!
"Old codgers" we may be, but today Lois and I prove our mettle again, and meet all the challenges modern life throws at us, that's for sure.
Here's our scoreboard for today, in the battle "Colin and Lois vs. Modern Life":
(1) We're both getting hard of hearing: Lois suffers from 'mild-to-moderate' hearing loss, while I, although I've inherited my mother's acute hearing, and can hear a pin drop in Djakarta as she used to say, bless her (!), I nevertheless suffer from what-I-call "slow brain function" caused by younger people talking too fast haha(!). Today, however, we finally get Lois's hearing tested again, and decide to go private with a state-of-the-art hearing aid - she couldn't get on with her previous free NHS ones.
But you can't put a price on quality-of-life, though, can you. Be fair!
(2) Our old Hotpoint freezer hasn't worked since we moved house on January 3rd, but Curry's and Hotpoint have until now done nothing about it, first arguing that, despite the evidence, Lois and I are still living at our old address in Malvern, and say they can't possibly send an engineer to fix a freezer at our new address in Liphook, Hampshire, but they will send somebody to our empty house in Malvern - what madness!!
And then Hotpoint saying they can't fix our freezer anyway, because the number next to the freezer's barcode is only 9 digits long instead of the now-standard 11. What madness (again) !!!!
I think there was even a joke about this kind of a malarkey at last year's Freezer Engineer's Convention, wasn't there? The stand-up was saying "I got called out to fix a freezer this week. I won't say it was an old one, but there were only 9 digits on the bar-code!" (laughter).
I think the gag was featured in the BBC's annual selection of "Highlights from this year's Freezer Engineer's Convention", but it was on fairly late at night, due to the "off-colour" nature of some of the jokes (!).
Of course, we're prepared for the possibility that the repair guy may say that our freezer is just no longer serviceable, or "clapped out", I think is the technical expression - a bit like us haha!
(3) Our solicitor, Sue, is asking us for "proof of our identity" even though we've met her several times - just another identity theft madness! But Lois hasn't updated her driving licence yet with our new address - well, we only moved a month ago - be fair! But Sue says we risk a £1000 fine, so I manage to apply for a new licence for her online and it should come in a few days. Phew!
(4) I persuade our doctor's surgery to let us apply for repeat prescriptions online - like a lot of "old codgers" we both take statins for low-to-moderately high cholesterol. Again, I think I've managed to fix this on the surgery's website, but we'll see.
What a crazy world we live in !!!!!
But satisfyingly, it seems that today the final score- line reads "Colin and Lois 4, Modern Life zero", which is nice!
21:00 We go to bed on Channel Four's new series about phobias.
It's possible that my hearing may not be as good as I thought, because I heard a trailer for this programme earlier today, and could have sworn they said they were going to include a case of somebody who "has a phobia of accents".
This immediately sparked my interest, as I personally have a phobia for a number of accents, and experience momentary hyperventilation any time I find out I have to contact any organisation's "unhelpful desk", because a lot of these have been sub-contracted either to remote regions of the UK or even to abroad, just to save a bit of money. What madness !!!!
It turns out, however, that it's not "a phobia for accents" that they're going to investigate tonight, it's "a phobia for dachshunds" or any kind of "sausage dogs" - which is not one of the phobias in my bag, I'm glad to say (!).
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