Friends, here's a tricky one for you (!) - but it's Wednesday now, and I think most have "got our eye in", at last, when it comes to this week's more challenging issues, haven't we!
And here's the thing - are YOU suddenly seeing a lot of adverts for bathmats when you browse your social media 'feed'? I thought it must be something general, because the Independent Newspaper's so-called "Bathmat Queen", their bathroom accessory reviewer Kayleigh Rattle (crazy name, crazy gal!) has had to "get her toes out" and "flash" them, again and again, just trying to make sense of it all. It's just crazy at the moment!
Let me tell you, my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I have seen so many bathmat ads recently when we go online, that it's making us dizzy! And yet when we asked our new neighbours here in our (as of January) new hometown of Liphook, Hampshire, just why they think this is happening, they say, and I quote, "What ARE you talking about, Colin?!"
And here's what Lois and I have learned today: who knew that if you start looking into "best bathmats" on-line, that somebody, perhaps some eagle-eyed young trainee in your Internet Service Provider's office, say, will actually notice that you're interested in bathmats, and will suddenly start sending you more and more bathmat ads till they're coming out of your ears? [I think most people knew that, apart from you two "noggins" ! - Ed]
Lois and I are generally positive minded people, and we try to learn from our mistakes, so our "takeaway" from this latest "bathmat debacle" is that it's telling us something: that our lives are overly bathmat-centric, and this "light bulb moment" can only do good - it's a "wake up call" we can't avoid acting on, which is the right kind of wake-up call. It's no good if we can just hit the snooze button - it's not much of a wake-up call then, is it to put it mildly!!!!
Did you see that rather sad story this morning in Onion News Local about area man Walter Daley?
Poor Daley !!!!!
And Lois and I have resolved today to talk a bit less, and even perhaps to think a bit less, about bathmats from now on, and more about the world's other pressing issues, which can only be good. It's a learning thing, isn't it.
Before I leave the subject though, here's Kayleigh's "bottom line" on the bathmats on sale at the moment, as of February 4th, just for comparison's sake, in case you're thinking of buying one!
Fascinating topic isn't it! And Lois and I can't help wondering whether we should have gone for the Piglet in Bed "budget" option with the attractive Pembroke Strip, sorry but I can't help saying that, because we're feeling a bit annoyed at the moment about not choosing one of Piglet in Bed's competitors before "splashing out" (no pun intended!) on our latest new bathmat purchase! About which, more later !!!!
[That's enough bathmats! - Ed]
Apart from the bathmat issue (sorry sorry!) Lois and I are having another good day today, I can exclusively reveal, which is nice.
The only downsides to the day are (1) the awful weather in the morning, so not being able to go for our daily walk, and (2) having a couple of deliveries expected in the afternoon, so not being able to go to bed "in tandem" in the afternoon.
Yes, unfortunately, we have to do afternoon nap-time in shifts today, with me staying downstairs to take delivery of our shiny new twin-telephone-system from the Argos delivery guy, and then Lois getting up and waiting for the Royal Mail postman to deliver our shiny new bathmat.
Oops, sorry, I wasn't going to mention bathmats again, was I!!!! But it's a real "doozy", as you can see!
our mad day - non-stop rain keeping us indoors in the morning,
and then waiting around for the postman and Argos delivery guy in the afternoon.
What a crazy world we live in !!!!!
And by the way, check out our shiny new bathmat, while you're about it, why don't you! It's draped over the back of the sofa behind Lois in the picture.
What a doozy, eh?! And the bathmat's not bad either haha!
Lois and I have been talking more today too, which is good.
We've both been diagnosed as "clinically old" and tending to get a bit hard of hearing, but Lois is now getting used to her new "private", non-NHS, hearing-aids, fitted last week, so she can hear me even if I'm talking to her left ear (the "duff" one), which gives us more options about positions on the couch. That won't work in bed, however, because when we get into bed Lois "takes her ears out", as I jokingly call it (!), so she can put them in her charger, to charge them up a bit.
our bedside table - me showcasing the little green flashing "eyes" on what I call "Lois's ear-charger", indicating that "charging is in progress", which is good!
All over our house, "devices" are being plugged into sockets for recharging. It's a big part of the modern world, isn't it.
It's a pity, but well, Lois and I can't "plug ourselves in", not electronically, anyway - they haven't developed that kind of a charger for "old codgers" yet. Is there at least a 'feasibility study' going on anywhere? I wonder.....! I think we should be told, and quickly, don't you?
As far as Lois and I are concerned, our nearest equivalent to an "old codger charger" is our afternoon nap-time which refreshes us no end, even though there are no "green lights" flashing, as such (!) - only figuratively (!). Today, however, we have to do without our version of "plugging in" today, which is a shame. But there's always tomorrow, which is a comfort.
21:00 We go to bed on this week's edition of QI-XL the comedy quiz, presented by the UK's favourite Dane Sandi Toksvig, tonight's show being on the general theme of "victory".
As always with this show, Lois and I learn some fascinating facts. Who knew, for instance, the part played by split peas in saving Britain from Nazi Germany in the summer of 1940?
Yes, who knew that our great fighter aircraft the Spitfire, that saved us from the Nazi bombers, was made even faster, by experiments with split peas?
As presenter Sandi explains, World War II aircraft were all held together by rivets, and when engineers were developing the Spitfire, the standard rivet for building an aircraft had a little domed head or "button head", which stuck out. And it occurred to engineers that this little head might be adversely affecting a plane's aerodynamics.
When constructing their test Spitfire fighter, therefore, rather than building 2 prototypes each with a different sort of rivet, which would have been expensive, they just built one test aircraft, putting in some of the newly-developed flat head rivets. They then glued half a split pea to each rivet to replicate the little dome-shape of the conventional button-rivet, before then removing the peas, section by section, and analysing the differences in speed.
That way they were able to work out that the new flat-headed rivets increased the aircraft's top speed by an incredible 22 mph.
Guest panellist Zambian-born, Canadian-educated comedian Daliso Chaponda (crazy name, crazy guy!), however, has another use for split peas.
Will this do?
So, let us not despise the split pea, it's been "on our side", as well as being "under us", in good times and bad, through thick and thin (mattresses haha!)....so generally good news if you're British or if you're Daliso or his latest "squeeze", whether "princess" or "no princess" (!), or ....
[Oh "button it, Colin" (no pun intended!), just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!
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