Friends, where do you get your local news from, if that's not a rude question, that is (!). Is it the Six O'Clock News or is it the Ten O'Clock News? It's a question that's a "no-brainer" for me and my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois, because we're always tucked up in bed by 10 pm "at the latest" (!).
But this long-standing "Do you fancy an early night?" habit of ours now has studies on its side, according to an astonishing report in today's local East Hampshire Onion News - did you "catch" it?
Heads must roll, we say!!!!
Channel 4's Alex Mahon, so far resisting calls for her to resign
For Lois and me too, it's a big issue, because we tend to take our news and weather reports as "gospel", and we often come a cropper as a result. People aren't buying newspapers much any more, so the newspapers' websites are deliberately creating either sensationalised headlines, or headlines with the important information missing, just as "click bait", so that they can impress their advertisers - that's our theory, anyway - call us dyed-in-the-wool sceptics if you like!
Take this morning - we, like everybody else, including, I guess, you dear Reader: we all saw the reports about the Met Office calling for the people of the UK to "stay indoors" for 12 hours, didn't we. Even Met Eirann, the Irish Met Office, joined in the chorus of doom-sayers, did you see? 
Bit of a damp squib though wasn't it, or more accurately a "dry squib"! No real storm until much much later in the day, and we even got a few seconds of sunshine on Sunday morning, as it happens, would you believe, which was ironic, to put it mildly (!).
Funny isn't it - how the size of people's hands differs so much. They've never quite managed to standardise them as yet, have they. But why not? Do you think we should be told, maybe?
It's a pity especially for poor Lois, because we had made the decision last night not to drive to Petersfield today, where Lois's new church holds its Sunday Morning Meetings - and doubly unfortunate as a decision, because we discover, too late, that the meeting had decided to officially welcome Lois into their ranks today. Still, I'm sure she'll get a warm welcome next Sunday, local weather reports permitting (!). And at least she heard her welcome, because she logged in online: and her lovely face could be seen by the congregation, beaming out from the big screen in the Village Hall on the wall behind today's preacher as he gave his address.
flashback to March 2024: Lois in her "meeting hat"
taking part remotely in her church's communion service
It turned out that the elders at the Petersfield church had already checked out Lois's "crudentials" [sic], and had okayed the transfer from her previous meeting at Tewkesbury, Gloucestershire.
And it had all happened at lightning speed, much more quickly than Lois thought it would. We both grew up in the age of posting letters and waiting for the reply to come back etc, but now we're in the age of the email and the digital records etc, aren't we. It was the Petersfield elders' responsibility to check that she had indeed been baptised - Lois recalls that it was in November 1964, by full immersion of course, just like in the Bible, a big day in her life, to put it mildly, and at the age of just 18, bless her.
some typical recent baptisms carried out by elders of the Tewkesbury church
21:00 Hands - they're funny things aren't they.
What sort of hands have YOU got, dear Reader? Bet that's a question you've never been asked! And I bet you haven't got a ready answer for me have you! Anyway all is not lost - have a close look at your hands this week if you get a moment, and jot down their main points on a postcard for me, will you? It'll only take 5 minutes, maybe only 4 !
The great thing about hands, is, as Bernard Bresslaw might have said, "They stop your arms from fraying at the ends", and I think that's always something to bear in mind.
"But why are you asking us about our hands, Colin?", I hear you cry (!). [Not me, I've already given up on this post. My current "squeeze" and I are just thinking about having an early night. Sorry! - Ed]
Well, Lois and I learn a bit more about hands and how many different sorts of hands there are, because we decide to go to bed tonight on Friday's Channel 5 TV retrospective on the life and career of Oldham-born comedian Eric Sykes.
I wonder....!
Last night Lois and I saw a documentary about Laurel and Hardy, in which we learned how Oliver Hardy, a big blustery elephant of a man, nevertheless had small hands capable of the most delicate and gentlemanly gestures befitting a traditional Southern gentleman, as long-time Sunday Times film critic Dilys Powell pointed out.
Eric Sykes also liked physical comedy, but he came to it from a slightly different perspective from Hardy, because he had rather big hands, as his daughter recalls in tonight's programme.
And speaking personally, I tend to feel that the reason that I myself never really made it as a slapstick comedian despite my many trademark "prat-falls" at home, was that I had neither small hands (like Oliver Hardy) nor big hands, like Eric Sykes. And it leaves me day-dreaming about just what might have been. Lois does say I've got long expressive fingers, and that, as a life-long ivory-tickler, I can always be trusted to get a good tune out of anybody's pianola, which is a nice testimonial to put on my cv, to put it mildly (!).
I wonder.....!
Eric's hands may have differed in size from Oliver Hardy's but the three men shared one great quality in particular - the palpable warmth in their on-screen relationships, And just like Oliver and Stan loved each other, we used to see the same quality in Eric's relationship with his long-time on-stage "twin sister", Hattie Jacques.
Fascinating stuff, isn't it!
Will this do?
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!
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