December 26th 2025 "Do you get scared when your pilot's voice suddenly sounds like he's petrified !!!!!! "

Yes, Friends, does YOUR heart "skip a beat" when your pilot comes on the intercom to declare a so-called "flight emergency", especially if he's speaking in a weird kind of voice? 

It's a common reaction isn't it, particularly if the pilot sounds like he's a lunatic, which CAN happen - like on this recent Easyjet flight out of Luton, as reported this morning in the local Onion News for East Hampshire. Did you notice,  or were you too "hung-over" to care, due to a touch of post-Christmas overindulgence perhaps haha ?!!!!

Kudos Langard!!!! And nice to know that, totally crazy as he undoubtedly is, he always keeps the safety of his Easyjet sun-seeking passengers as his top priority, which is comforting!

This morning, here in semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, as my wife Lois and I "trudge" our way over local nature reserve Old Man Lowsley's Farm for our Boxing Day walk, the Onion News story brings a faint whiff of a smile to our normally stoic faces, which is nice!

And our merriment is only increased, when we see that some "joker", who perhaps had had a bit too much to drink last night, and wound up a little inebriated (!), has hung a shiny red bauble on one of the nature reserve's budding new fir trees, which is a nice touch !!!!

a shiny red-nosed Yours Truly (right-facing arrow) showing mild amusement, as we discover 

that some local "joker" (!) has hung a shiny red Christmas bauble (left-facing arrow) 

on one of the nature reserve's budding new fir trees, which is a nice festive touch!!!!

How we laugh !!!!!

And who says now that the local East Hampshire "country bumpkins", generally found in large numbers in these here parts, haven't got a sense of humour - because these pictures certainly "give the lie" to those vicious rumours, probably started by all those hoity-toity stockbrokers over the county line in nearby Surrey, I shouldn't wonder !!!! 

But let's return for a moment to that shark in this morning's papers!

flashback to this morning and those alarming headlines

Sharks are certainly in the talking-point here in East Hampshire with that Onion News flight-rerouting story on everybody's lips today, but in Australia, sharks are a bit more than "clouds in their [complimentary] [in-flight] coffees" - no pun intended !!!!

And, by coincidence, our daughter Sarah, who lives 9000 miles away in Perth, Western Australia with husband Francis and their 12-year-old twins Lily and Jessica, goes on social media today to hint of the dangers from sharks experienced by body-boarders and others, in that crazy, faraway land!

Yikes !!!!

flashback to July: Lois with our daughter Sarah and family, in London 

on their last trip to the "old country"

Thankfully, on Sarah and family's London trip, there were no reports of sharks in the Thames, although this hasn't always been the case. Remember those Onion News headlines from 2021, and their memorable "voxpop" comments from "industry insiders"?

And Lois and I,  on our Boxing Day walk this morning here in East Hampshire, decide, just to be on the safe side, to check out Lowsley's Farm's "mini-reservoirs" for Spurdogs and other sharks. Call us "risk-averse", if you like haha!!!

Later, we declare the mini-reservoirs to be totally shark-free, as we can now exclusively reveal - remember you read it here first, in my blog haha!!! The hideous creature in the left-hand photo is just Yours Truly, and the apparent "monster" rearing its head out of the water in the right-hand photo was found to be just a log, so panic over (!!!).

15:30 Well, today is Boxing Day, so Lois and I have got a shark-sized "monster" of a problem [no pun intended!!!!] [Why did you say it then?! - Ed] with excessive Christmas Day left-over foods, but luckily our other daughter Alison, drops by to help us eat up some of the worst of it (!), together with husband Edward and two of their 3 teenage kids Rosalind (17) and Isaac (15). Their eldest, Josie (19) is busy this afternoon revising for her exams next term at Durham University. Lois and I also get to play a few festive board games with them, which is nice!

Excitement is in the air, because, on Sunday, Alison and family will be leaving for a week's skiing holiday in Sweden, flying by Norwegian Airlines from London's Gatwick Airport to Trondheim in northern Norway, and then getting a 2-hour taxi ride if you please (!) over the border to the Swedish ski resort of Åre, arriving at 2 o'clock in the morning, if you please !!!!

What utter utter utter madness !!!!!

[That's enough madness! - Ed]

Nostalgic for Lois and me, however, because in the bottom left-hand corner of the above map can be seen the little town of Åndelsnes, Norway, where we spent our 2-week honeymoon, back in 1972, so "only" 53 years ago, would you believe !!!!!

Happy times - and, a crucial element of this, was a total absence of sharks, which was a bonus !!!!

flashback to 1972: me sitting on a bank by a Norwegian fjord

- no sharks here, either, which was a relief !!!!

We go to bed on tonight's Boxing Day festive edition of our favourite TV quiz, Only Connect, presented by Victoria Coren-Mitchell, the quiz which tests lateral thinking.

Can YOU work out the connection between these 4 seemingly unrelated "things"?

I think you've probably got the answer already, haven't you, unless I'm very much mistaken! 

Yes, they're all people who get publicly weighed, of course!

And if you hadn't heard about the mayors of High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, well, since way back in the 17th century, town mayors have been weighed immediately after their election, and then weighed again a year later, to check that they haven't been growing fat on taxpayers' money.

Since the 17th century, mayors of High Wycombe Buckinghamshire

have been weighed, first on their election, and then a year later,

to check that they haven't been getting fat at taxpayers' expense

Great idea, isn't it!

And it begs a more important question, doesn't it. Should the measure be made a matter of routine worldwide, in view of all the national leaders currently "making the world safe for plutocracy", and getting rich themselves, no names, no pack-drill!!!!

I wonder.....!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!