Monday October 19th 2026 "Do YOU have a tiresome 'ethics code' at YOUR workplace? Isn't it just the pits haha!!!"

Yes, Friends, do YOU have a tiresome 'ethics code' at YOUR workplace? 

It's becoming more and more common these days, interfering more and more in what people can or can't do in the workplace, stopping people just 'doing their own thing' and taking their time over it, in their own office or factory, if you please! It's just another modern "madness", and yet another attack on individual liberty, in this humble blogger's eyes, at least!!!!

Take a look at today's Onion News, and its usual Monday pull-out "Work Ethics" colour supplement - and turn straight to page 94, where there's a couple of real "doozies" this morning, mark my words!!!

What madness, isn't it! And yet these stories, and others in the same tone, are guaranteed to bring a welcome smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, here in semi-retired Liphook, Hampshire, this morning - and that's a "no-brainer" !

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

We're sitting in the crowded living-room of our pensioner-Latin teacher, local man Joe, the room being crowded with fellow-members of Joe's "Intermediate Latin for Old Codgers" group, reading the story of the Trojan Horse, as told by Vergil in his long poem, the Aeneid around 25BC, would you believe!

us in Joe's comfortable sitting-room with a bunch of other members of 

local man Joe's "Intermediate Latin for Old Codgers" group

We've reached the part of the poem that chronicles a key moment in the long siege of Troy by a Greek army. The Greeks have been encamped around the city for 10 years, trying to enter it and destroy their Trojan enemies. 

Then suddenly one morning, the Trojans awake to see a huge wooden horse that's appeared outside their city gates overnight, and they're wondering what to do with it. Should they pull it into their city, or should they just ignore it, and carry on as normal?

Most of the Trojans vote to bring the horse inside the city, but one man, the young priest Laocoon, suspects that it's all a Greek trap - and, in a dramatic scene, he hurls a big spear into the wooden belly of the horse. Thwack - Ftang !!!!!

And as Vergil writes in his poem, the Aeneid, the huge spear just sticks there, right in the horse's wooden side, "trembling", or "vibrating" [Latin: stabat tremens].

wily Trojan priest Laocoon, seen here about to hurl a huge spear into the side of

the Trojan Horse, a spear which then just "sticks there, trembling" according to Vergil

Whether the spear, as it vibrated in the horse, then made some sort of a "boing-boing-boing" sound, as it vibrated, or even a "doing-doing-doing" sound - isn't clear. Virgil doesn't tell us in his poem, and none of our little group of "old codgers" is sure what the Latin for those expressions is, in any case, would you believe! And whether they would even fit the so-called "hexameter" rhythm of Virgil's poetry is another (so far!) unanswered question for debate (!).

However, your ideas, as always, will be most welcome - but remember, postcards only!!!

Later, the wily young priest Laocoon, however, lives to regret his spear attack on the Wooden Horse, when he and his two sons are devoured by a bunch of sea-serpents, an attack thought to be punishment for his "desecration" of the Horse. You see, unfortunately the horse had previously been dedicated as a special gift to the goddess Minerva, or some-such nonsense, and so, after that, was supposedly "sacred" (!). 

Hence throwing a spear into the horse's side was simply "not on", which was mad!

the Trojan priest Laocoon and his two young sons, being devoured

by a bunch of sea-serpents, as punishment for sticking a spear

into the side of the Wooden Horse, a structure which had supposedly 

been earlier dubbed as "sacred" - what madness!!!!

In modern eyes, to be devoured by sea-serpents seems, perhaps, marginally too harsh a punishment, but "alia tempora, alios mores" as the Romans used to say - or "different times, different standards" (!!!).

One of our group of "old codgers" tells us this morning, however, that, in an earlier Greek version of the story, by Hellenistic poet Euphorion of Chalcis, the young priest Laocoon was devoured by those sea-serpents for an altogether different reason. 

Euphorion, writing in the 3rd century BC, described the 'devouring' of Laocoon by sea-serpents as punishment for an entirely different incident, when Laocoon was caught having sex with his wife Antiope, at his workplace - the local shrine to the god Apollo. What madness, wasn't it!!!!

And not only that, but the couple apparently did it right there on the floor of the shrine, in front of the shrine's flagship "Apollo's statue", Euphorion says, an act which was regarded as particularly "brazen", not to say downright "cheeky" (!). And our little group of 'old codgers' certainly seems to agree with that verdict this morning, to put it mildly!

our little group, all members of local man Joe's "Intermediate Latin for Old Codgers",

seen here in Joe's cosy retirement flat discussing the Trojan horse and other "malarkey"

There's some speculation this morning, in our meeting, about whether this sex-scandal arose, after, say, Laocoon's wife had, perhaps, just popped by the shrine, to bring her husband and alluring basket of sandwiches and fruit, an unexpected event, which the wily young priest had somehow found too much of a temptation, do you think?

Be that as it may, however, (!) am I alone in thinking that, even in those crazy, far-off times, there would have been some sort of OHSA (Occupational Health and Safety Administration) "best practice" advisory around, warning employees not to have sex at a shrine, or not during shrine working hours, at least?

a typical OHSA mini-booklet on "best practice": could it have 

helped Laocoon, the wily, but naughty, Trojan priest, 

and saved him from a bunch of horrible sea-serpents?

I wonder....!

And here, for reference is the relevant passage from Vergil's "Aeneid" about the Trojan Horse and Laocoon's speech, together with my, admittedly, very rough, translation. 

I'm sure you could do a better one, so get your "thinking caps" on - postcards only, again, needless to say!!!!

This episode in Vergil's long poem, the Aeneid, is also justly famous for another line, spoken by wily priest Laocoon, and this iconic phrase of Laocoon's has even come down into English, as a kind of a proverb, or saying:

Vergil's phrase "timeo Danaos et dona ferentes" is often translated into English as "Beware of Greeks bearing gifts".

Have YOU heard anyone using the phrase "Beware of Greeks bearing gifts" recently? If you haven't, here's the full "lowdown"!

Makes a kind of a crazy sense, though, doesn't it!

(left) "Beware of Greeks bearing gifts" - wily Trojan priest Laocoon's 

timely but futile warning to the Trojans, and (right) the consequences,

when the Trojans disregard Laocoon's dire warnings: Greek soldiers

emerging in the dead of night, to capture the city - what madness!!!!

And, in that vein, wily priest Laocoon's famous, but ultimately ineffective, speech to the Trojans also contains what's thought to be the first ever recorded instance of the phrase "What madness!" [Latin: quae tanta insania!], an iconic phrase which some people, even nowadays, use several times a day - no names, no packdrill haha!!!

what's thought to be the first recorded instance of the phrase "What madness!"

[Latin: quae tanta insania!], in wily priest Laocoon's speech to the Trojans

What a crazy world we live in! 

And that phrase, by the way, is a certified "Colin original" and "officially copyrighted" to boot - and that's official (!), so please write for my permission before you use it (!) - postcards only, again !!!!

[That's enough "insania"! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed, Colin! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!