Friday October 11th 2024 "Who took the fun out of picking up medications?"

Here's a question-and-seven-eighths (!) for you, friends! Do you remember the days when visits to your local chemist's or pharmacy to pick up your "meds" were a 5-star fun experience? 

Don't believe me? Well, if you want me to jog your memory just look at these archive "doozies" from the vaults of Onion News!

Or how about this "doozy" from a few years back (!):

Those days from what's been dubbed "The Golden Age of Pharmacy" seem faraway now don't they! 

My medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I have both had the same experience - we've lived the bulk of our lives quietly, paying our taxes, and going in for all-round clean-living (!), and then suddenly we hit - like - 70 and it's like - somebody flips a switch somewhere, and within - like - a billionth of a second - you're feeling a little bit "naff" every few weeks, seeing the inside of a doctor's surgery every couple of months, and, above all, picking up prescriptions - like - a billion times a year!!! 

"What's going on?", we ask ourselves. We totally didn't see this coming! It's complete madness !!!! 

Now, living here in Malvern, Worcestershire, and having both reached the grand old age of 78 (!), Lois and I, inspired by local young flatmates from East Leake who've synchronised their periods, we have now at least managed to synchronise collection of our 'statins' prescriptions, so we can halve our visits for that little "wonder drug" at a stroke, which is some comfort at least!

a typical group of local flatmates from East Leake 

who've managed to synchronise their monthly periods

flashback to last December: Lois and I celebrate with steaming mugs 

of hot chocolate, having at last managed to synchronise our schedule 

for picking up our new "8-week" boxes of statins

But even despite that, we find we're visiting our local pharmacy about every other day - it seems like (!). Today is no exception, because Lois has been prescribed a new drug that hasn't been put on "automatic repeat" yet. 

Before we venture out of the house, around 9 am, I check online to make sure the medication has been "approved" by our doctor, but when we get to the pharmacy, the assistant tells us it won't be available till Monday - what madness (again) !!!!  Fortunately, when Lois tells her she's completely out of the pills, they offer to make it up for her there and then, so happy ending.

our local pharmacy, conveniently situated in the same block 

as our doctors' surgery, in Prospect View Medical Centre,

which is nice

Actually we're fortunate to find the place open this morning. They're suffering staff shortages at the moment, as Malvern News's ace cub reporter Ryan "Scoop" Smith uncovered recently.

Oh - so it's the government's fault is it? Well, I suppose it's just another casualty of Brexit, discouraging immigrants from Eastern Europe coming over here and taking all the jobs that Brits don't want to do - what a crazy country we live in !!!!

Memo to self: I'll try to email Ryan "Scoop" Smith later and let him know something I can now exclusively reveal to him and to YOU, dear Readers (!). October 7th wasn't a Saturday, Ryan! Either you mean Monday October 7th or you mean Saturday October 5th. You can't have it both ways, Ryan, so it's make-your- mind-up time! 

Oh dear, it looks like they can't get the staff at Malvern News any more either - what madness !!! 

Come back, ye Polish immigrants - all is forgiven haha!!!

Just saying!!!!

Nevertheless, although it's pretty chilly again today, at least we're blessed with lovely blue skies and sunshine here in Malvern, and this whole "pharmacy saga" at least gives Lois and me plenty to laugh about this morning on our daily walk over Poolbrook Common. 

On our way we stop to post a letter at Hanley Swan Post Office, only to find out that the local Phantom "Knitted-Character Postbox-knitter of Hanley Swan" has again been vandalising a piece of what is, technically at least, the King's property (!), and decorated the Royal Mail post-box with one of his Halloween-style displays. 

Just what are our county police doing behind their desks up in Worcester? Why can't they catch this dangerous knitting-maniac before somebody gets seriously injured?

I think we should be told, don't you !!!!

yes, the "Hanley Swan Knitting Maniac" has struck again with his

Halloween display  - and what are our police doing about it? 

I think we should be told, don't you!

Yes, today we're seeking a bit of a calm , and an "oasis" from all the mad world of Brexit etc (!), so we head for the limpid (?) waters of Poolbrook Pond, before coming home for a cup of coffee in our back garden, where, miraculously, Lois's runner bean plants are still managing to flower - so watch this space!

the "limpid" waters of Poolbrook Pond this morning

 - a calm oasis from the mad world of Brexit

now back at home, we enjoy a cup of coffee in our back garden

where Lois's runner bean plants are still managing to flower,

even at this late stage of the vegetable-growing year

21:00 We go to bed on the latest hard-hitting mini-documentary from Cotswold-born presenter Charlie Cooper, all about some of the unsolved mysteries of rural England.

Yes, what's the origin of the mysterious crop circles that appear each year all over southern England? Are they caused by hot-spots of "earth energy" along so-called "ley lines", as many think, or are they being created by aliens?

typical Wiltshire crop circles

And presenter Charlie can claim a bit of a "scoop" tonight, because he gets to talk to somebody called "Lewis" - not his real name - who claims to have the answer to this age-old countryside riddle. Because, in a deal brokered by Charlie's assistant Scott, the guy simply known as "Lewis" has at last agreed to talk.

There's a snag, though because "Lewis" says he doesn't want to be seen on camera during the interview.

"Lewis's" desire to preserve his anonymity seems to be a bit "over the top", however, as lead presenter Cooper is quick to point out:

Not so, however - as we find out! 

"Lewis" has agreed to meet the two BBC presenters at his local Wiltshire pub, the Bridge Inn. And he's got one "humdinger" of a story to reveal to them, that's for sure!

In this sequence, here's Lewis, disguised in a dark "hoodie" and his face hidden, giving a bit of the backstory to the mystery: 

And it turns out that "Lewis" actually makes most of these crop-circles himself, which is a bit of a bombshell, and something of a game-changer, to put it mildly!

The motives that "Lewis" admits to, however, when he analyses his huge mission of making crop circles but not admitting to doing it, are partly selfish, as he confesses: 

However, "Lewis" also has some more generously inspired motivation, which is nice!

Fantastic stuff isn't it! And Lois and I are still laughing about "Lewis" and his ridiculous 'mission', when we climb into bed at 10 pm. 

But there's a serious point here also, as we remark to each other, as we get between the sheets.

For "Lewis" to complete the majority of England's annual hundred-or-more crop circles, he surely needs a bit of back-up, doesn't he? What if he gets a cold, or so-called "crop-circle finger", for example? I think we should be told.

And isn't it time we all collectively "ate humble pie" and went back on the Brexit legislation, letting all those job-hungry East Europeans with the necessary crop-circle skills "flood" the country like they always used to?

I wonder..... !

[Oh just go to sleep! - Ed]

Zzzzzzzz!!!