Dear reader, do you ever find yourself stepping into a room and then not being able to remember what you've gone in there for? It's something that happens to me and my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois on an almost daily basis, but then, we are both 78 - yes, I know we look older haha!
me (right) and my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois - most of the
time we don't know why we've come where we've come,
or don't even know where we've come to, in the first place,
if that makes sense...
At least most of the time, it doesn't really matter if we've forgotten what we're supposed to be doing, because it's probably something not very important anyway [You can say that again! - Ed]
Imagine what it's like for a surgeon, however. Just think about his typical day, trying to remember all about the complexities of the human body, trying to keep a "road map" of organs in your head, and remember all their names - it has to be a total nightmare! Did you see this recent story on our local Onion News for West Worcestershire?
Sometimes Lois and I think we, the potential patients, perhaps lay a little too much on our county's surgeons, and maybe we should allow them some slack now and again. After all they do a fantastic job, don't they, often in the most trying circumstances, we feel, but what a wonderful job they do, don't they!
Onion News has more....
And we find ourselves also wondering, along the way, whether 'torsos' and 'abdomens' are the correct plural forms. [Look them up yourselves, will you? I've got a proper job and I haven't got time for all that nonsense! - Ed]
To spare your blushes, I'm not going to translate that definition, but you'll probably get a rough idea if I tell you that the Danish phase 'nedre regioner' (see above) means what we in the Anglosphere call our "nether regions". Work the rest out for yourself haha!
Isaac's not just a student of Mandarin, by the way. He does loads of other things, including being lead singer in a local rock group, and today our daughter Alison sends us a video of a performance he and his group gave this weekend at the prestigious local Fernhurst (West Sussex) Cricket Awards:
What a family Lois and I have - and certainly "goin' places" (!). [Not you, though, Colin! - Ed]. So stick with us, and "watch this space" (!) (again haha!!!).
Although this long-running series is mainly a fairly low-key saga, based around the activities of the mainly elderly community in this small Yorkshire village, there are occasional visits from more exciting characters.
Abdomens - let's assume that's the correct plural for the moment, shall we, pending further research (!) - they've vital to have, but how rarely we stop to think about them. Is it the same with you, dear Reader? They're just the lower part of our "tummies" to Lois and me, and Wikipedia is very matter-of-fact about them too, I find today, when we're doing a bit of our obsessive "googling" (!),
Yes, abdomens (?) are fairly boring, aren't they, apart from their amusingly "unsightly bulges" (!), which lift them slightly into things of beauty (!). But Lois and I discover that it's mainly in the Anglosphere that abdomens are so boring.
In Denmark, however, abdomens are much more exciting, to put it mildly
"How do you know that, Colin?", I hear you cry. [Not me, I'm doing some real work, unlike you pair of "noggins" (!) - Ed]
Well, seeing as how you're obviously interested (!), Lois and I, for our sins (!), lead the local Malvern U3A Intermediate Danish group, and our group is currently reading a Danish "whodunnit" - "Judaskysset" ("The Judas Kiss") by Anna Grue. It's all about a scammer who makes a career out of seducing menopausal Danish women, getting them to include him as signatories on their bank accounts before murdering them and walking off with their savings - simples (!)
[Get on with it! - Ed]
Danish crime-writer Anna Grue and her book "Judaskysset" (the Judas Kiss)
The plot very much plays to our group's predominantly female, over-60's membership, which is nice.
In the story, a young Danish scammer Jay (29-ish) is currently bedding 60-something rich spinster Birgitte, and during their torrid nights together, constantly trying to persuade her to open up her "konto" to him - that's Danish for "bank account" as I expect you know. It's pretty basic Danish, after all (!).
[That's enough exclamation marks in brackets (!) - Ed]
Lois and I have been puzzled, reading about Jay's scamming efforts with the menopausal Birgitte, as to why Jay is constantly wondering about what's going on in Birgitte's abdomen, and we discover today that it's nothing to do with any 'unsightly bulges' of the sort that we and probably YOU, are concerned about from time to time with our own (i.e. British or other Anglosphere (!)) abdomens.
Here's what a typical Danish abdomen looks like, and I can now exclusively reveal that's it's much sexier than the British one - observe the plastic model that this Danish woman is showcasing here;
a typical Danish abdomen - much sexier than a British one, isn't it
And our Danish online dictionary defines a Danish abdomen as follows:
But what a crazy country Denmark is !!!!!
And I foresee plenty of blushes and embarrassed looks on the faces of our U3A group's predominantly over-60's female members, not to mention on mine and Lois's faces (!), when the group meets on zoom on Thursday afternoon. And once again, Lois and I are going to have to manage the fortnightly group meeting with more than a little sensitivity, to put it mildly!
So watch this space !!!!! I'll update you after Thursday.
10:00 Apart from our forebodings about Thursday's upcoming Danish meeting, it's a fairly quiet day today for Lois and me.
Having been annoyed yesterday to find the shiny-new offside rear tyre we got fitted last week, completely flat, we drive the car back to the HiQ Auto Tyre and Battery place this morning, but it turns out they can't do the job till tomorrow, which is annoying.
Flat tyres - they're amusing on other people's cars though, and always a gift to cartoonists, to put it mildly (!).
The man on the left - you can tell from his face that he's already "totally" getting some unfortunate wrong "signals" from the young woman on the right haha!
Poor man-on-the-left !!!!
Oh the nostalgia. And oh yes - all those "flat" jokes - the old ones are always the best ones, though, aren't they (!).
Lois and I are feeling a bit abandoned and deserted at the moment, after our daughter Sarah, plus husband Francis and their 11-year-old twins Lily and Jessica, packed up their home in nearby Alcester earlier this month, and flew off to Perth, Australia, to begin a new life over there.
flashback to September 3rd: our daughter Sarah and husband
Francis clear out their home in Alcester, while Lois and I help out
by taking the twins over to the local playground for some final rides
on the swings etc before the family flies off to a new life in
Perth, Australia - sob sob!!!! - leaving us on our own - sob, sob!!!
Yes, we're both feeling a bit isolated now and we both worry from time to time about the 'unsightly bulges on our abdomens' (the British type of abdomen, not the sexy Danish sort, so don't get alarmed haha!). And in case we ever have to be rushed into hospital for emergency cosmetic surgery, it would be nice to have the support of family members nearby - call us overcautious if you like haha.
Our long-term plan is to move to Hampshire to be near our other daughter Alison, who lives in Headley with husband Ed and their 3 teenage children, and today Lois does a bit of preliminary googling of properties in the area - it's not going to be easy because house prices there are sky-high, compared to the ones round here on the Welsh border, in rural West Worcestershire, to put it mildly.
By the way, Alison's whole family are tremendous "high achievers" - have I told you? [Only - like - a billion times (!) - Ed]
The youngest, Isaac (14) was recently chosen from among his Mandarin Chinese student classmates to give a speech at the Chinese Embassy, London, all about the class's recent study trip to the city of Tianjin, which is about 85 miles north east of the capital, Beijing.
flashback to June 30th, Isaac (front, right, half out of shot)
on the bus from Liphook, Hampshire to London's Heathrow Airport
with classmates to catch a flight to Beijing, China
the group of Mandarin students from Liphook, Hampshire,
photographed here during their 2 week study trip to China
Isaac, with his group of 3 girl guitarists and male drummer
[not shown] singing the old Four Seasons 1967 hit "Beggin'" at the
prestigious local Fernhurst (W. Sussex) Cricket Awards this weekend
21:00 Quite a day it's been, hasn't it, to put it mildly. So it's nice for Lois and me this evening to relax on the couch with an old episode of the world's longest ever sitcom, "Last of the Summer Wine", in another series of re-runs on the Drama Channel.
Like retired SAS secret agent Hobdyke, who pays a visit to the village library tonight, alarming the prissy spinster librarian Miss Davenport. Is he suffering from post-combat stress following his service in Afghanistan?
First, Hobdyke notices that he's started to "twitch" again, but Miss Davenport isn't sure that twitching is permitted in the library.
And is Hobdyke also maybe suffering from post-traumatic amnesia? He seems to think it's a possibility.
Poor Hobdyke!!!!
But it's all the most tremendous fun, isn't it!
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!
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