Thursday October 24th 2024 "How's the customer service at YOUR local 'eating-hole' ?!!!"

Have you noticed how UK's much-vaunted "customer services" have really gone down the tubes recently? I think that everybody - not just me and my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois - is saying the same thing. Particularly locally, here in rural West Worcestershire, and one of the worst places is one of our own favourite local "eateries", to put it mildly! 

I'll give you three guesses! Yes it's that so-called Randalls again! 

Onion News Local has more on that story... 

Lois and I think personally that Sandi Harman's comments were a bit on the harsh side. Our own 'feedback card', last time we ate there, read "could have been a bit more curt and inconsiderate, although not by much". Call us mealy-mouthed if you like - and that was certainly true in a purely physical sense, as we went out through their swing-door, to put it mildly!!!

And I think we all watched that excruciating Oscar ceremony, when actress Emma Stone got the zip stuck on her dress, which ripped just as she got up to go on stage to receive her award. Am I right? Or am I right! 

flashback to March 2024: film-star Emma Stone turns away

from the cameras as her dress rips on stage at the Oscars,

and other invitees nervously check their own dresses in shock

But how many of us knew about the horrifying sequel?! Again, Onion News has more....

[That's enough Onion News stories! - Ed]

Does that phone conversation ring any bells with you, my dear Readers? Honestly Louis Vitton asking for a till receipt could have been British Gas Customer Service or Severn Trent Water talking to me, apart from the "knicker drawer" detail, obviously!

Plus, I'm happy to report that, closer to home, the local Customer Service Department at Persimmon Homes, the builders responsible for mine and Lois's new-build home in Malvern, the house we moved into on Halloween almost exactly 2 years ago, is a lot better than it used to be.

flashback to November 2022: with only torn-up packing case

cardboard at the window to give us a bit of privacy, Lois and I celebrate 

our 2 week "anniversary", as proud owners of this new-build house

in Malvern, in the middle of a less-than-half-built new estate

And guess what I'm ringing Persimmon Customer Service about today? Yes, got it in one! It's our troublesome 'smoke detectors'. Lois and I have realised today that Persimmon's 2-year guarantee on this house is due to expire in a week's time, so I get a Persimmon customer-care guy to come round and just check the detectors over, before it's too late to claim, if we need to claim that is!

flashback to September: after consulting two neighbours, 

Lois and I find out where the totally unmarked "flap" is, the one you

evidently have to push on, in order to open the smoke alarm 

"lid" and remove the battery - what madness !!!!

Memories, memories - when I think about how many times those customer-care guys have come a-calling!

Flashback to March: Lois's beloved stuffed toys, her Mir Jafah (left) 

and her teddy bear, known simply as "Teddy", the bear she

misguidedly tried to bath in bathwater when she was a toddler, both

look on approvingly as two Persimmon Customer Care vans draw up outside

Happy times! The leaking pipes, the chipped paintwork, the frayed carpets, he dodgy smoke alarms - oh the memories!

And although we'll only have been living in the house for 2 years when Halloween night comes up next week, we're already starting to feel all nostalgic and goose-bumpy thinking back. 

"What's the reason for all this nostalgia, Colin?", I hear you cry. [Not me, I've nipped out for a "swift half"! - Ed]

Well, seeing as how you're obviously eager to know (!), this could be the last time we report a leaking pipe, or a frayed carpet etc. Next week we'll be looking at houses-for-sale in another county - Hampshire, where our daughter Alison lives with husband Ed and their three teenage offspring. We've already contacted estate agents about 7 properties, so watch this space! 

[I can't wait! - Ed] 

[I thought you'd gone for the day (!) - Colin]

flashback to January 2020 at the Reading Soccer Stadium, watching 

Chelsea Women play Reading Women, are: (left to right)

our son-in-law Ed, Josie, Isaac, our daughter Alison, and Rosalind

One of the houses we're going to be looking at is that one we saw an advert for yesterday. You know, the one from that couple with the vile pink chimney breast, vile pink curtains and their crazy, massive mirror at the bottom of their bed. What madness! Well we can repaint the chimney breast and we'll have our own curtains, but the mirrors are part of their built-in wardrobe, so that'll take more work. What madness again)!!!  [That's enough madness! - Ed]

that couple's house with the vile pink chimney breast and curtains,

and the massive 9 ft x 9ft mirror at the end of their bed

- what madness !!!!!

Later we take a walk down by the schoolyard of prestigious private boarding school Malvern College,  in the lee of the lovely 700-million-year-old Malvern Hills. 

we take our walk down by the schoolyard of prestigious private

boarding school and CS Lewis's alma mater, Malvern College 

in the lee of the lovely 700-million-year-old Malvern Hills, 

some of the oldest hills in the British Isles

Lois is wearing her pink hat and coat again. Could it be she's decided, secretly, to keep the pink features of this house in Hampshire, if we decide to buy it?  But not the jumbo mirror hopefully! Yikes !!!!

I wonder..... !!!!

Things are moving fast. Have you ever had that feeling that things are moving too fast for comfort - faster than you had imagined, and that it's all getting out of control? Stop the world I want to get off, is what I'm thinking. 

It's not that I don't want to move house again, even though it's after only 2 years since our last move. I can see it makes sense for Lois and me, increasingly unable to cope with things our own (!), to be nearer to our daughter Alison and family. It's just that I imagined it would all take longer to "get into gear", and I would have plenty of time to "get my head around it". As it is, I don't quite know where "my head" is, just at the moment. [It's still there, between your shoulders, I can exclusively reveal! - Ed]

And my only real regret about our forthcoming house-hunting expedition is that we'll probably miss Halloween Night here in Malvern, which is always a lot of fun.

Flashback to October 2023: Lois carving out our pumpkin, 

and later me sitting and chatting to our pumpkin, sharing 

a joke or two, which is nice!

And by coincidence today, Tünde, my Hungarian penfriend, sends me this headline from the influential Hungarian news website 444.hu, with a local pastor's warning that Halloween is the work of the devil, a Satanist's holiday, and that any participation could come back to "haunt us" (no pun intended!) during our Judgment Day hearings, which is a bit worrying, to put it mildly.

Health warning: you may need medium-to-intermediate-level Hungarian to understand the article, so I'll probably need to help you out a bit on this one (!).

The article cites a post from a Hungarian Protestant kindergarten, saying that Halloween is a Satanist's holiday and that we "don't need to celebrate by dressing up our children as skeletons or witches", adding that the evidence could be brought up and used against us on Judgment Day.

And helpfully, the article lists the categories of people, who particularly should avoid taking part.

1.    Any Hungarian Protestants, because they have their own holiday - the Reformation itself

2.    Anybody who loves their children.

3.    Anybody sane.

4.    Er, all Hungarians.

The article ends with this rallying cry:

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!!

Well, that's all for now. Byeeeeeeeeee!!!!

And see you tomorrow!!!!

Will this do?????

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz!!!!!