Danskcolin: Sunday October 21 2018

08:45 I hurry down to the kitchen and make 2 cups of tea. I bring them up to the bedroom and jump back into bed with Lois. On Sundays, she usually drinks her tea quickly and gets up so she can be in church on time to attend the first of her sect's 2 worship services. And I also like to get going early on Sundays - it's my biggest chance to cross off tasks on my to-do list.

Today, however, she surprises me by persuading me to stay a little longer in bed. She has decided to stay at home today and not to go to church.

We drink our morning tea and I read about 10 pages of my bedtime book, "The Man Whom Women Loved", (the life of Bror Blixen) by Ulf Aschan.

Flashback to September: Lois and I visit a food festival in Lynton Town Hall.

I buy an antique book all about the life of Bror Blixen,

the Danish author, Karen Blixen's Swedish husband.

The Swede Bror Blixen was for a short period of time Karen Blixen's husband. The couple moved to Kenya before the beginning of the First World War, and tried to start a farm over there and grow coffee, but both their marriage and their coffee plantation turned into big failures.

Bror's Danish wife Karen later wrote the world-famous book, "Out of Africa", based on the couple's experiences in Kenya, while Bror continued his life as safari guy, big game hunter and adventurer, all over Africa. He went to bed with a lot of rich women who shared his taste for dramatic adventure and excitement, both in bed and out of bed.

But this book, "The Man Whom Women Loved," is a bit of a disappointment for me personally. It does not tell us what kind of man Bror really was, what his secret was when it came to women, why women loved him, etc. The author, Ulf Aschan himself sounds a little bit like Bror, I suspect - he's just another adventurer at heart.

And the incidents in the book seem like a series of the kind of anecdotes that got told endlessly in African bars amid a lot of drinks and a lot of laughter - stories about elephant hunting, dangerous drives through the deserts and the like.

I suspect that the women in Bror's life were just a minor distraction from the main focus of his life: shooting elephants, lions, etc. and driving cars over difficult and dangerous terrain, and sharing anecdotes and drinking too much at the local bars in the evening.

Good grief, what madness !!!

My personal favourite out of Brother's many women was undoubtedly the Swede Eva Dickson, who can be seen on the book's cover, where Bror is busy helping her do her hair in some way or another. I like her face, which looks very cute, but I suspect she was a bit of a scary woman - she became nemesis personified for hundreds of wild animals, that's for sure !!!

Eva with a lot of dead game - yikes, scary !!!

But how cute she looks!!!

Eva with Bror's friend Hemingway

10:00 We get up in case Sarah, our daughter in Perth, Australia, calls us on whatsapp, which she tends to do on Sunday mornings (English time). I text her, but she says that Lily and Jessie, her and Francis' 5-year-old twins are overtired and in a bad mood: she wants to get their dinner and put them early in bed.

10:00 Lois has decided not to go to church today. Instead she will listen to this afternoon's worship service on the internet and take part in the communion at home with a piece of bread and a small glass of red wine to hand, which is very touching, I think.

She would rather stay home today - we went out to the Chipping Norton area yesterday to investigate where her ancestors of the 18th and 19th century lived and died.

And tomorrow we head over to Witney to have lunch with my cousin John, plus John's wife Chris, and my cousin Susan (John's sister) who arrived last week from Colorado USA for a two week vacation.

On the way, Lois and I plan to pop in to see my aunt Bobbie, Susan and John's mother, who lives in a nursing home in Witney.

Busy yesterday, busy tomorrow - and Lois wants a quieter day today, not going out of the house, which is understandable.

Flashback to September 2016: Left to right: Susan, John, Chris and Lois

in front of John and Chris's house in Witney

It's very nice to have Lois here at home to talk to. The downside is that I know that my to-do list will just get longer, rather than shorter. I seem to need my alone time to achieve anything at all - and I do not know why: one of my many weaknesses, no doubt.

And I suddenly realise that I'm suffering from the fashionable syndrome: FOMOMG (Fear Of Missing Out My Goals), a syndrome that mostly affects young women who have long-term goals in the areas of career, relationship, motherhood, etc.

I suddenly realise that the syndrome can also hit old men who want to study a foreign language and absorb a lot of vocabulary, in addition to coping with all the many domestic tasks on my to-do list.

I want to make progress with my many long-term and short-term goals, but everything and everyone conspires to prevent me in one way or another and on most days I achieve precisely nothing. Damn!

12:00 Our neighbour, Stephen, swings by. We discuss the nearby medical clinic's plans to move into a new clinic that is still being built 5 miles away from here, on the other side of Bishops Cleeve, a small town located 3 miles north of Cheltenham.

The doctors want to have their current clinic demolished and to pay for the new one by having 6 new houses built on the current clinic's land right next to Stephen's house (just 4 feet away) - my god they're such bastards, those doctors !! !

The medical clinic's plans to have 6 new houses built, as shown on their application

Stephen's house is on the left - just 4 feet away from the new houses - yikes!

The doctors seem to take it for granted that Stephen will allow the men to step onto his land to build or maintain the new house, which seems to be a bit selfish, to say the least. The southern wall of the new house will stand right on the property boundary with Stephen's land, which will make it difficult for Stephen to maintain his own house. Good grief, what madness!

Stephen tells us that the council's planning committee will make a decision on Wednesday about the doctors' application.

13:00 We have lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a huge afternoon nap. Meanwhile, Lois sits down with the laptop and takes part in her church's worship services. I get up at 4pm and we relax with a cup of tea on the couch.

18:00 We have dinner and spend the evening watching television. An interesting documentary is on (2nd part of 3) all about the history of dance in Britain: "Dancing Cheek to Cheek: an intimate story of dance". The program's hosts are the charming Lucy Worsley and Len Goodman.

Unfortunately, I doze through most of the program - damn! But sometimes I wake up for a few minutes and pick up a few small insights.

It turns out that British men in the 19th century suddenly dropped their dance craze and became more interested in conquering the world - and bit by bit they became gradually responsible for a quarter of the world's population. And it started to feel a bit unmanly to faff around on the dance floor. And it was sport, rather than dancing, which they thought was the best preparation for developing that crucial ability - the ability to dominate the world.

a contemporary letter to the newspapers

As a result, women were forced to dance with other women, or solo. Lois tells me a little bit about her teenage years when the girls in her high school learned to waltz with each other in the school's sports hall wearing just their school singlets and their navy school knickers - my god, that must have been quite a sight.

women were forced to dance with other women ....

.... or to dance solo: the famous skirt dance

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz !!!!

Danish translation

08:45 Jeg skynder mig ind I køkkenet og laver 2 kopper te. Jeg bringer dem op på soveværelset og hopper tilbage op i sengen til Lois. Om søndagen plejer hun at drikke téen hurtigt og stå op, så hun kan være i kirke til tiden for at deltage i den første af sin sekts 2 gudstjeneste. Og jeg kan godt lide at gå tidligt i gang om søndagen – det er min største chance for at klare opgaver på min gøremålsliste.

I dag overrasker hun mig imidlertid ved at overtale mig til at blive liggende lidt længere i sengen. Hun har besluttet at blive herhjemme i dag og ikke at gå i kirke.

Vi drikker vores morgenté og jeg læser ca. 10 sider of mine sengetidbog, , ”Den mand, som kvinder elskede” (Bror Blixens liv) af Ulf Aschan.

Tilbageblik til september: Lois og jeg besøger en madfestival i Lyntons byrådhus.

Jeg køber en antikvarist bog, der handler om livet af Bror Blixen,

den danske forfatterinde Karen Blixens svenske ægtemand.

Svenskeren Bror Blixen var i en kort periode Karen Blixens ægtemand. Parret flyttede til Kenya før begyndelsen af den 1. verdenskrig, og prøvede at starte en gård derovre og gro kaffe, men både deres ægteskab og deres kaffeplantage blev til en stor fiasko.

Brors danske kone Karen skrev senere den verdensberømt roman, ”Out of Africa”, baseret på parrets oplevelser i Kenya, og Bror fortsatte sit liv som safarimand, storvildtjæger og eventyrer hele Afrika over. Han gik i seng med en masse rige kvinder, der delte hans smag for dramatiske eventyr og begejstring, både i sengen og ud af sengen.

Men denne bog, ”Den mand, som kvinder elskede”, er lidt af en skuffelse for mit vedkommende. Den fortæller os ikke hvilken slags mand han egentlig var, hvad hans hemmelighed var når det kom til kvinder, hvorfor kvinder elskede ham osv. Forfatteren, Ulf Aschan lyder lidt som Bror, mistænker jeg: endnu en eventyrer. Og de handlinger i bogen lyder som en serie af de slags anekdoter, der bliver fortalt i en bar blandt en masse drinks og en masse latter: historier om elefantjagter, farlige rejser over ørkener og den slags.

Jeg mistænker, at kvinderne i Brors liv var bare en mindre distraktion fra hans livs hovedsagelig fokus: at skyde elefanter, løve osv, at køre bil over svære og farlige landskaber, og at dele anekdoter og drikke for meget i barer om aftenen.

Du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!

Min personlig favorit blandt Brors mange kvinder var uden tvivl svenskeren Eva Dickson, der kan ses på bogens omslag, hvor Bror er i gang med at hjælpe hende med hendes hår på en eller anden måde. Jeg kan godt lide hendes ansigt, der ser meget sødt ud, men jeg mistænker, hun var lidt af en skræmmende kvinde – hun blev nemesis for hundredvis af vilddyr, ingen tvivl om det!!!

Eva med en masse døde vilddyr – yikes, skræmmende!!!

Men hvor er hun dog sød ud !!!!

Eva med Brors ven Hemingway

10:00 Vi står op for det tilfælde, Sarah, vores datter i Perth, Australien, ringer til os på whatsapp, hvilket hun har tendens til at gøre søndag formiddag (engelsk tid). Jeg sms’er hende, men hun siger, at Lily og Jessie, hendes og Francis’ 5-årige tvillinger er overtrætte og i dårligt humør: hun vil gerne lave deres aftensmad og putte dem tidligt i seng.

10:00 Lois har besluttet ikke at gå i kirke i dag. Hun vil lytte til eftermiddagens gudstjeneste på internettet, og deltage i altargangen herhjemme med et stykke brød og et lille glas rødvin ved hånden, hvilket er meget rørende, synes jeg.

Hun vil hellere blive herhjemme i dag – vi tog på udflugt til Chipping Norton-området i går, for at undersøge hvor hendes 18. og 19 århundredes forfædre levede og døde. Og i morgen kører vi over til Witney for at spise frokost hos min fætter John, Johns kone Chris, og min kusine Susan (Johns søster), der sidste uge ankom fra Colorado USA for to ugers ferie. På vej planlægger Lois og jeg at smutte ind hos min tante Bobbie, Susans og Johns mor, der bor i et plejehjem i Witney. Travlt i går, travlt i morgen – Lois vil gerne have en roligere dag i dag og ikke komme ud af huset, hvilket er forståeligt.

Tilbageblik til september 2016: Venstre til højre: Susan, John, Chris og Lois

foran John og Chris’ hus i Witney

Det er meget rart at have hende herhjemme for at snakke med. Downsiden er, at jeg ved godt, at min gøremålsliste vil blive længere, snarere end kortere. Jeg synes at have brug for min alenetid for at opnå noget som helst – og jeg ved ikke hvorfor: en af mine svagheder, uden tvivl.

Og jeg bliver pludselig klar over, at jeg lider af det moderigtige syndrom: FOMOMG (Fear Of Missing Out (on) My Goals) – frygten for at gå glip af mine mål. Et syndrom, der for det meste rammer unge kvinder, der har langsigtede mål i områderne af karriere, forhold, moderdom osv.

Jeg indser pludselig, at syndromet også kan ramme gamle mænd, der vil gerne studere et fremmedsprog og absorbere en masse ordforråd, udover at klare alle de mange huslige opgaver på min gøremålsliste.

Jeg vil gerne lave fremskridt med mine mange langsigtede og kortsigtede mål, men alting og alle virker sammen for at forhindre mig på en eller anden måde og på de fleste dage opnår jeg præcis ingenting. Pokkers!

12:00 Vores nabo, Stephen, smutter ind hos os. Vi diskuterer den nærliggende lægekliniks planer om at flytte ind til en ny klinik, der er i gang med at blive bygget 5 miles væk herfra, i den ande side af Bishops Cleeve, en lille by der ligger 3 miles nord for Cheltenham.

Lægerne vil gerne få deres nuværende klinik nedrevet og betale for den nye ved at få 6 nye huse bygget på jorden, lige ved siden af Stephens hus (kun 4 fods væk) – du godeste, de er sådanne nogle sjufter, de der læger !!!

lægeklinikkens planer om at få 6 nye huse bygget, ifølge deres ansøgning

Francis og Stephens hus ligger til venstre – bare 4 fods væk – yikes!

De synes at tage det for givet, at Stephen vil give dem tilladelse at træde over på hans jord for at bygge eller vedligeholde det nye hus, hvilket synes at være lidt egoistisk, for at sige mildt. Det sydlige mur af det nye hus vil stå netop på selve ejendomgrænsen med Stephens jord, hvilket vil gøre det svært for Stephen at vedligeholde sit eget hus. Du godeste, sikke et vanvid!

Stephen fortæller os, at kommunens planlægningsudvalg vil tage en beslutning på onsdag om lægernes ansøgning.

13:00 Vi spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng og tager en gigantisk eftermiddagslur. I mellemtiden sætter Lois sig med den bærebare og deltage i sin kirkes gudstjenester. Jeg står op kl 16 og vi slapper af med en kop te i sofaen.

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og bruger aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn. De viser en interessant dokumentarfilm (2. del af 3), der handler om historien af dans i Storbritannien: ”At danse kind mod kind: en intim historie af dans”. Programmets værter er de charmerende Lucy Worsley og Len Goodman.

Desværre døser jeg igennem det meste af programmet – pokkers! Men af og til vågner jeg i nogle minutter og henter jeg et par små indsigter.

Det viser sig, at britiske mænd i det 19. århundrede pludselig droppede deres dans-dille, og blev mere interesseret for at besejre verden – de blev efterhånden ansvarlige for et kvarter af verdens befolkning. Og det begyndte at føles lidt umandigt at pusle rund på dansegulvet. Og det var sport, snarere end dans, som man troede, var den bedste forberedelse på at udvikle evnen til at dominere verden.

fra et brev til aviserne

Som resultat blev kvinderne tvunget til at danse med andre kvinder, eller solo. Lois fortæller mig lidt om sine teenage-år, da pigerne i hendes højskole lærte at valse med hinanden i skolens sportshal iført bare deres skoleundertrøje og deres marineblå skoletrusser – du godeste, det må have været et vidunderligt syn, ingen tvivl om det!!!