Danskcolin: Sunday, October 28, 2018

08:00 Lois and I get up in a state of confusion because the country put the clocks back an hour during the night. I decide to go to bed an hour earlier this evening and get used to the new situation gradually: the freedom to do that is one of the benefits of being a retiree in my opinion.

09:00 I'm in the kitchen and I'm just about to boil two eggs for our breakfast, when Sarah, our daughter in Perth, Australia, calls me on whatsapp. She usually calls us a little later, but I am reminded they do not put the clocks forward and back in Western Australia. So the time difference is now 8 hours instead of 7 hours.

I call Lois and we settle down on the couch to take the call. Sarah has chosen the audio option for some reason, but after a couple of minutes, Lily and Jessie, her 5-year-old twins burst in and "insist" that she switches to video so we can see the fairy dresses they have on today. How cute they are!

Unfortunately, the twins begin trying to draw Sarah's attention away on to other things, while in England, Minx, our 18 and a half-year-old cat, tries to do the same - good grief, what madness!

Sarah says the twins are starting in the local primary school in February, the Ocean Reef Primary School, which is only approx. 200 yards away around the corner. It means they will have to say goodbye to their kindergarten classmates who are going onto a different school, but the advantage is that Francis will not have to take them by car - Sarah can therefore use the car to get to her workplace.

flashback to March: Sarah, Lois and I take the twins down to the

local elementary school, Ocean Reef Primary School.

Here we see Lois by the school sign

Jessie playing on the school's playground

Sarah with Lily

First day at school is a traditional opportunity to take cute photos, and Lois and I are anticipating them eagerly.

I remember when a local man, Paul Stewart, hit the headlines recently when commenting on his cousin Janice's two cute children from the pictures she had posted on Facebook after Kyle and Tyler's first day at school (source: the influential American news site, Onion News).

While clicking on the "Back to School" photo album that his cousin Janice had just posted on Facebook, local man Paul Stewart told reporters that he really enjoyed the opportunity of seeing how much his cousin's children have "chunked out" again this year.

"They were a couple of butterballs last year, but wow, they are now two lumps of pure pig fat," said Stewart, and he noted a picture where the two "chubsters" were standing on their driveway in their new clothes and backpacks and with their doughy little arms around each other.

"Kyle is becoming quite the little porker. And is Tyler already in third grade? Wow, I almost did not recognise that "blubbersaurus"." Stewart added that he would not be surprised if those two blimps did not put on another 20 lbs before Halloween: he was eagerly awaiting the trick-or-treat pictures.

Good grief, what a crazy world we live in !!!!

10:00 I spend some time discussing Sarah's whatsapp call with Lois.

Francis, our son-in-law, will in theory be free after February to seek some kind of part-time job, but he will be turning 54 next February - he is 12 years older than Sarah. Sarah also says that he has not been too well over the past few weeks. The family doctor has told him that, unfortunately, he has arthritis in the spine, the poor thing. The only bright spot is that playing golf is good for the condition. My god, poor Francis! It's lucky he's a golf fanatic. On the other hand, golf is a very expensive hobby - yikes!

11:00 Lois has to go out. She wants to attend her sect's two worship services taking place today in Tewksbury library.

I have a little alone time. Yesterday we saw a TV documentary film all about vitamin pills and other supplements that, according to the program's host, are not much use. He repeatedly stressed how good it is to take exercise, in order to prevent heart disease, cancer, strokes, etc., which struck a chord with me, I have to admit: I don't do hardly any exercise at all.

I decide to take a quick walk around the local football pitch, just like Lois often does. And after lunch and a short afternoon nap, I hop on my exercise bike and cycle 5 miles while watching old 1980s pop videos on my DVD player for children.

But I'm not entirely sure I can stick to this punishing new schedule in the longer run - damn!

16:00 Lois comes back from Tewkesbury and we relax on the couch with a cup of tea and a piece of chocolate cake left over after our daughter Alison's visit with her family. It's quite impractical to start on a diet, when there are so many cakes, biscuits, etc., sitting here and there in the house, not to mention a load of undrunk alcohol. My god, we have no choice but to tackle it all, and what's more, as soon as possible, that's for sure!

18:00 We have dinner and spend the rest of the evening watching television. The latest episode of Grand Designs is on. The host of the program is the charming Kevin McCloud.

"Grand Designs" is the program that I most of all love to hate because I loathe these huge ugly modern houses with their huge living rooms, huge white interior walls and uncomfortable sofas, massive heavy dining tables, exposed pipework, massively high ceilings, etc., and I am tempted to hate also the couples who are so keen on getting these kinds of houses built.

The houses look like more industrial complexes, a power plant, or a company's headquarters, than homes in my opinion.

This evening's building (I can't call it a house) is one of the worst I have ever seen. Adrian has a lovely wife, Megan - why did he need to spend close to £1,000,000 building this ugly warehouse completely of concrete?

Adrian has a lovely wife, Megan. Why did he need to spend

close to £1,000,000 on building this ugly warehouse completely of concrete?

My god, what madness !!!!

20:00 We continue watching television, the first hour of a "slow tv" program, all about Australia's so-called "Ghan" railroad from Adelaide to Darwin.

The Australians called the railway "Ghan" because it was mostly built by workers from Asia: the Australians thought they came from Afghanistan, but actually they were mostly from Pakistan. Typical Aussie vagueness about the third world !!!!

An interesting and relaxing program, but after about 45 minutes it becomes a bit boring, I have to say.

All in all, I preferred another "slow tv" movie, which we saw last December. It was all about two charming Sami women crossing northern Norway with 2 sleds drawn by reindeer 200 miles north of the Arctic Circle. The temperature was -6F (-21C) - brrrrrrr !!!!

The program was very peaceful and calming, and it was nice to hear the reindeer's hooves treading rhythmically over the snow as the women bobbed about.

flashback to last December - the very first of our "slow tv" experiences !!!!

I think that what tonight's program on the Ghan railway lacks is the sight of those two charming Sami women. Instead, all we get is the glimpse of a lonely Australian train driver who is sitting on his own in his cabin in the leading locomotive. He has nothing to do at all - everything is automatic - apart from announcing every 2 hours or so when the train passes by some tiny town (typically, these towns have less than 500 inhabitants). My god, what a crazy world we live in !!!! Come back, Sami women, all is forgiven ha ha ha!

a typical glimpse of the train driver - yawn yawn!

21:00 I go to bed - I have decided to get used to wintertime hours just gradually - last night we put the clocks forward one hour. But Lois has a different policy - she wants to stay up till 10pm and see a documentary about Hitler's use of Germany's rail system. The host of the program is the charming Chris Tarrant.

For my part, I'm totally fed up with Hitler, railways and even Chris Tarrant. I'm such an old whinger, that's for sure.

22:00 Lois hops up into bed with me. Zzzzzzzzzzzz !!!!!

Danish translation

08:00 Lois og jeg står op i en tilstand af forvirring, fordi landet stillede urene en time tilbage i løbet af natten. Jeg beslutter at gå i seng en time tidligere i aften og vænne mig gradvist til den nye situation: friheden til at gør det er en af fordelene til at være pensionist efter min mening.

09:00 Jeg står i køkkenet og jeg er lige ved at koge to æg til vores morgenmad, da Sarah, vores datter i Perth, Australien ringer til mig på whatsapp. Hun har normalt for vane at ringe os lidt senere, men jeg mindes, om man ikke stiller urene frem eller tilbage i Western Australia. Tidsforskellen er derfor nu 8 timer i stedet for 7 timer.

Jeg kalder til Lois og vi sætter os til rette i sofaen for at tage opkaldet. Hun har valgt audio-optionen for en eller anden grund, men efter et par minutter braser Lily og Jessie, hendes 5-årige tvillinger ind og ”insisterer” på, at hun skifter til video, så vi kan se fe-kjolerne, de i dag har på. Hvor er de dog søde!

Desværre derefter begynder tvillingerne at prøve at henlede hendes opmærksomhed på andre ting, mens her i England, Minx, vores 18,5 årige kat, prøver at gøre det samme – du godeste, sikke et vanvid!

Sarah siger, at tvillingerne skal starte i februrar i den lokale foleskole, Ocean Reef Primary School der bare ligger ca. 200m væk rundt om hjørnet. Det betyder, at de skal sige farvel til deres børnehave klassekammerater, men fordelen er, at Francis ikke bliver nødt til at tage dem med bil – Sarah kan derfor køre i bil til sin arbejdsplads.

tilbageblik til marts: Sarah, Lois og jeg tager tvillingerne med ned til den

lokale folkeskole, Ocean ReefPrimary School.

Lois foran skolen

Jessie leger på skolens legeplads

Sarah med Lily

Første dag i skole er en traditionel lejlighed til at tage søde fotos, og Lois og jeg forventer dem ivrigt. Jeg mindes, da en lokal mand, Paul Stewart, ramte overskrifterne for nylig, da han kommenterede sin kusine Janices to søde børn, set ud fra billederne hun havde lagt op på Facebook efter Kyle og Tylers første dag i skolen (kilde: det inflydselsesrige amerikanske nyhedswebsted, Onion News).

Samtidig med, at klikke på det ”tilbage til skole”-fotoalbum, som hans kusine Janice for nylig lagt op på Facebook, sagde den lokale mand Paul Stewart til reportere, at han virkelig nød muligheden for at se, hvor meget hendes kusines børn har taget på i vægt. "De var et par smørboller sidste år, men wow, de er nu to klumper af ren svinefedt", sagde Stewart og noterede et billede, hvor de to ”tyksakker” stod på deres indkørsel med nye tøj og rygsække og stod med deres dejagtige små arme omkring hinanden. "Kyle ændrer sig helt til en fedsvin. Og Tyler er allerede i tredje klasse? Wow, jeg genkendte næsten ikke den ”blubbersaur”. " Stewart tilføjede, at han ikke ville blive overrasket, hvis disse to blimps ikke tog endnu 20 pund på før Halloween og han ivrigt afventede trick-or-treating billederne. DU gogdeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!

10:00 Jeg diskuterer Sarahs whatsapp-opkald lidt med Lois.

Francis, vores svigersøn, vil i teorien efter februar være fri til at søge et eller andet slags deltidsjob, men han til februar fylder 54 – han er 12 år ældre, end Sarah. Også Sarah siger, at han har haft det ikke ret godt de seneste nogle uger. Familiens læge har fortalt ham, at han desværre har gigt i rygsøjlen, staklen. Det eneste forsonende træk er, at det, at spille golf, er godt for tilstanden. Du godeste – stakkels Francis! Det er heldigt, at han er noget af en golf-fanatiker. På den anden side er golf en meget dyr hobby – yikes!

11:00 Lois skal af sted. Hun ønsker at deltage i sin sekts to gudstjenester, der finder sted i dag i byen Tewksburys bibliotek.

Jeg har lidt alenetid. I går så vi en tv-dokumentarfilm, der handlede om vitaminpiller og andre kosttilskud, som ifølge programmets vært er ikke ret nyttige. Han understregede gentagende gange, hvor godt det er at dyrke motion, for at afværge hjertesygdom, kræftformer, slagtilfælde osv, hvilket sagde mig noget, det må jeg indrømme: jeg dyrker faktisk næsten ingen motion.

Jeg beslutter at tage en rask gåtur rundt omkring i den lokale fodboldbane, ligesom Lois ofte gør. Og efter frokost og en kort eftermiddagslur, hopper jeg op på min kondicykel og cykler 5 miles, mens jeg ser på gamle pop-videoer fra 1980’er på min dvdspiller til børn.

Men jeg er imidlertid ikke helt sikker på, at jeg kan holde mig til denne straffende nye tidsplan i det lange løb – pokkers!

16:00 Lois kommer tilbage fra Tewkesbury og vi slapper af i sofaen med en kop te og et stykke chokoladekage, som er tiloversbleven fra vores datter Alisons besøg sammen med hendes familie. Det er helt upraktisk at begynde på en slankekur, mens der er så mange kager, kiks osv, som sidder her og der i huset, for ikke at nævne en masse alkohol. Du godeste, vi har ikke andet valg, end at takle det hele, og hvad mere er, så snart som muligt, det har jeg ikke nogen tvivl om!

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og bruger resten af aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn. De viser det seneste afsnit af Grand Designs. Programmets vært er den charmerende Kevin McCloud.

”Grand Designs” er programmet jeg først og fremmest elsker at hade fordi jeg hader disse enorme grimme moderne huse med deres enorme ekkoende stuer, enorme hvide indvendige vægge og ukomfortable sofaer, massive tunge spiseborde, udsatte rørledninger, massivt høje lofter osv, og jeg er fristet til at hade også de par, der er så friske på at få disse slags huse bygget.

Husene ligner mere industrielle komplekser, et kraftværk, eller et selskabs hovedkontor, end hjemmer efter min mening.

Aftenens bygning (jeg kalder den ikke et hus) er et af de værste, jeg nogensinde har set. Adrian har en dejlig kone, Megan – hvorfor trængte han til at bruge tæt på 1.000.000£ på at bygge et grimt varehus, fuldstændigt af konkret?

Adrian har en dejlig kone, Megan. Hvorfor trængte han til at bruge

tæt på 1.000.000£ på at bygge et grimt varehus, fuldstændigt af konkret?

Du godeste, sikke et vanvid !!!!

20:00 Vi fortsætter med at se lidt fjernsyn, den første time af en ”langsom tv” program, der handler om Australiens såkaldte ”Ghan” jernbane fra Adelaide til Darwin.

Australierne kaldte jernbanen “Ghan”, fordi den for det meste blev bygget af arbejdere fra Asien: australierne troede, de stammede fra Afghanistan, men faktisk stammede de for det meste fra Pakistan. Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!

Et interessant og betryggende program, men efter ca 45 minutter bliver det lidt kedeligt, det må jeg nok sige.

Alt i alt foretrak jeg en anden ”langsom tv” film, som vi så sidste december. Den handlede om to charmerende sami kvinder, der krydsede det nordlige Norge med 2 slæder trukket af rensdyr, 200 miles nord for den arktiske cirkel. Temperaturen var -6F (-21C) – brrrrrrrr!!!!

Programmet var meget roligt og betryggende, og det var rart at høre rensdyrenes hove træde rytmisk over sneen.

tilbageblik til december - vores 1. "langsom tv" program nogensinde

Jeg synes, at hvad aftenens program om Ghan-jernbanen mangler er synet af de der to charmerende sami kvinder. Alt vi får er glimtet af en ensom australske togchauffør, der sidder helt alene i sin kabine i det førende lokomotiv. Han har overhovedet ingenting at lave – alting er automatisk – bortset fra at annoncere hver 2. timer eller deromkring, når toget kører forbi en eller anden by (typisk set, har disse byer mindre end 500 indbyggere). Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!! Kom tilbage, sami kvinder, alt er tilgivet ha ha ha!

et typisk glimt af togets chauffør – gab gab!

21:00 Jeg går i seng – jeg har besluttet at vænne mig kun gradvist til vintertid – i nat stillede vi urene en time tilbage. Men Lois har en anderledes politik – hun har lyst til at blive oppe indtil kl 22 og se en dokumentarfilm, der handler om Hitlers brug af Tysklands jernbanesystem. Programmets vært er den charmerende Chris Tarrant.